renchamp

So I prayed to what I thought were angels, but ended up being ambulance lights.

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In Defense of the Dragoness

By renchamp 0 Comments

I don't know if it is my chivalrous nature, the Liefeldian curves, or the ability of the Dragoness to seduce readers, but I feel the need to defend this pretty little number. If you'll recall New Mutants #94, Cannonball and his squad of the New Mutants has been captured by Stryfe and his Mutant Liberation Front. The Dragoness is put in charge of the prisoners. She alerts them that the plan of poisoning the water of many capitals around the globe begins that very night. Then she makes out with Cannonball. Wait, what? That's right. She goes and lays a big smack on that ol' boy's lips. Boom-Boom gets jealous, but then Cannonball reveals that while he was being smooched upon, he was grabbing the keys to their shackles from the headdress of the Dragoness. Sneaky, sneaky, little guy. Dragoness is made to look like a complete fool. She's not. The reader is the complete fool. Here's a break down:

 Strung Out - NM #94
 Strung Out - NM #94
The New Mutants are strung up. Hands are over their heads, their bodies are draped below. (Where did Boom-Boom get such long arms?) 
Kissing Sam Guthrie - NM #94
Kissing Sam Guthrie - NM #94
The Dragoness, in all her sultry and seductive manners, plants a big one on Cannonball. Notice his arms? In order for this to have worked, the Dragoness must have taken the time to readjust Cannonball's arms so as to make the kiss that much more comfortable. Or, Cannonball has the ability to remove his arms from its sockets so as to accept that deep kiss from these luscious Liefeldian lips:
Dragoness - NM #94
Dragoness - NM #94
Now, remember Cannonball's arms. They were completely behind him in that kiss. How did this happen?
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Wait, what? Your arms were behind your head, man! Also, how did you know about a pocket in her headdress? A pocket that comes in, what appears to be, a metal headdress, no less.
 
Sorry, folks. This doesn't jive. Why are we making a hot, albeit crazy, chick look like a fool? It makes no sense to this chivalrous guy. I say we reboot this scene to where Cannonball headbutts the Dragoness and she wigs out and accidentally takes out the stasis beam with her wings, freeing the New Mutants in a more realistic way. Long shot, you say? So was Cannonball's hand to the headdress, but we bought it anyway.
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