After reading through a few back issues recently I have noticed an interesting plot device/comic book concept, and I was thinking of suggesting it to the powers that be at CV for inclusion as a comic book concept. The concept is simply called "Shark Fights!" (exclamation point optional). A shark fight in this sense is a pointless battle between the main hero and a shark or other supposedly malevolent wild animal (polar bear, wolf, feral raccoon) which does nothing at all to advance the plot of a comic book and mostly just wastes a few panels:
I guess sharks are scary looking but most 99% of sharks species have absolutely no interest in humans. Of the sharks that are interested in humans 99% of them will stay away from them because they have no idea what a human is, and its instinctual mind tells it something like "thats a pretty big animal there which I have never seen before, better give it a wide birth in case it tries to kill me." Don't get me wrong, some sharks are ridiculously efficient killing machines, but more people die from being kicked by horses per year in the US than they do from being eaten by a shark (those horses just don't take prisoners, do they?)
For some reason any time a hero is near water the chances of there being a dangerous shark there increases by a factor of about ten thousand. The worst part about shark fights is the absolute pointlessness of it. There is no way the hero is going to lose. If they can beat intergalactic armies, is a single shark really going to be their eventual downfall? In the famous Death of Superman or Batman R.I.P story lines how happy would you have been if they ended up dying by getting eaten by a shark? Suffice to say it would never happen. So who is with me for pitching "Shark Fights!" as a comic book concept?
24 Comments
Most gratuitous use of hero on shark violence (no surprise its Millar right?) has to be Wolverine Enemy of the State I think, though I think Wolverine attacked it so he could ride its bloated carcass up for air... that justifies it right? Anyway maybe normal sharks provide no challenge, but you must not have read the tale of the GRIZZLY SHARK! (PS also with the Shark Fight!! Movement, sign me Razzy)
Proof that Sharks don't just look Evil. Proof that Sharks are Evil
@SC: Land sharks are distinctly different from ocean sharks. Ocean sharks mostly are just bottom feeders eating dead gangsters and license plates. Thanks for your support though (and Kira and Icarus), we are up to five now.
" @SC: Land sharks are distinctly different from ocean sharks. Ocean sharks mostly are just bottom feeders eating dead gangsters and license plates. Thanks for your support though (and Kira and Icarus), we are up to five now. "
I am not sure I can agree. Ocean Sharks are really just Land Sharks that have never quite learned the trick of walking on land. I can relate, it took me 10 years to learn. Oh.. uh, I mean 5 years... uh
They are still evil though. Just like how the Banana was specifically designed to fit in out hand so we could eat it, the Sharks eyes are designed to be black and beady so we know its evil.
@SC: Were bananas specifically designed to fit in our hands? Or were our hands specifically designed to hold bananas? I don't know though, water sharks are benevolent creatures known to frolick in the waves with dolphins and pelicans.
" Most gratuitous use of hero on shark violence (no surprise its Millar right?) has to be Wolverine Enemy of the State I think, though I think Wolverine attacked it so he could ride its bloated carcass up for air... that justifies it right? Anyway maybe normal sharks provide no challenge, but you must not have read the tale of the GRIZZLY SHARK! (PS also with the Shark Fight!! Movement, sign me Razzy)
Proof that Sharks don't just look Evil. Proof that Sharks are Evil
What the hell? They can walk on land now? And sharks are not evil they're just hungry.
" @SC: Were bananas specifically designed to fit in our hands? Or were our hands specifically designed to hold bananas? I don't know though, water sharks are benevolent creatures known to frolick in the waves with dolphins and pelicans."
Awwh, you have not seen the funniest video of all time!! (??) Uhm, youtube Ray Comfort and Banana please if you get time ^_^ (don't worry, its not anything gross or dirty lol)
Darn it, I guess you got me with that one. Sea Sharks do tend to frolick playfully with dolphins and... wait a minute? Dolphins are even more evil than Sharks?
@Omarpool: Oldest excuse in the book, is the hungry excuse. Oh I slipped... and I fell and created a super nuclear atomic bomb that I also slipped and fell and threw at your pets house, maiming it. I was just hungry. etc
@SC: Alright whatever Sharks are evil but I will say Dolphins are way more evil. They are crazed killer rapist (No joke. Dead serious) of the seas who have recently been coming together in Superpods consisting of thousands of them for no known reason. My guess? World domination.
" @SC: Alright whatever Sharks are evil but I will say Dolphins are way more evil. They are crazed killer rapist (No joke. Dead serious) of the seas who have recently been coming together in Superpods consisting of thousands of them for no known reason. My guess? World domination. "
I definitely agree with that well reasoned and substantially proven statement you have made. I think its a matter of the lesser evil here. Why aren't more of our superheroes targeting Dolphins? I think we just cooked up the Marvel/DC event of 2012... Siege of the Infinite Dolphinihilation War Crisis!!!
" @SC: Alright whatever Sharks are evil but I will say Dolphins are way more evil. They are crazed killer rapist (No joke. Dead serious) of the seas who have recently been coming together in Superpods consisting of thousands of them for no known reason. My guess? World domination. "
I definitely agree with that well reasoned and substantially proven statement you have made. I think its a matter of the lesser evil here. Why aren't more of our superheroes targeting Dolphins? I think we just cooked up the Marvel/DC event of 2012... Siege of the Infinite Dolphinihilation War Crisis!!! "
Yes, at the end of it all they have to take on the dolphin queen (Do dolphins have queens?). Maybe they'll fight the whale wars guys (Though I can't see the WW crew putting up much of a fight)?
" @Omarpool: What was Echo? I think he was there queen? Dolphins are strange like that. Well, strange and evil obviously of course. lol, I actually think I want an evil Dolphin themed character now... why always Orca's and Sharks... "
@SC: Are you talking about echo the dolphin (It might be spelled Ecco)? And I don't think I want an evil dolphin themed character. I KNOW I want an evil dolphin themed character. The superheros would underestimate him and his army of dolphins then get mauled and raped (Maybe not in that order).
"Dude, me and Icarus were just talking about this!!! The random shark thing!!! LOL, this is a great post, Tammy! No, horses don't take prisoners. They take SLAVES. "
Oh man, You said shark fights and I automatically thought of Jimbei, the bad @$$ Whale Shark fishman from One Piece, (yes I know he doesn't look like a whale shark) And he's more of a good guy than a bad guy, but he is a high level master of Fishman Karate, which one can learn on fishman island (I know, nothing about one piece makes sense, but that's why so many people love it. I even found a couple of clips him knocking down Gecko Moria and him, crocodile, and Luffy beating up the guards in impel down (the undersea prison that they are breaking out of. The first video has english subs, but it also has german annotations, yay languages.
I'm totally on board with this. Borrowing from television, the concept could be called "Jumping the Shark". While it's not the exact same concept, it's still a device utilized for filler.
@RazzaTazz: Here is some modern proof that you can't keep a good shark down... err unless you tip it upside down or tickle its nose, I forget the safety tip Shark defense videos... oh, I haven't ever asked if you like X-23 as well?
Laura is minding her own business when a EVIL Shark attacks her.
Bad move Mr Jawzy, Lady Laulau Pokersyourface er throat. LOL, this panel is too funny for a lame joke.
