Raiiyn's forum posts

#1 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@raiiyn said:
@wardemon32 said:

@raiiyn said:

@wardemon32: You would only be bi if you were having sex with someone who was the same gender as you. A transgendered person is NOT the gender they were born which is where closed minded people seem to have the biggest issue. You are having sex with a person who is the gender they are NOW not that they WERE.

And don't you dare compare child molestation to transgendered people and relationships. That is beyond inappropriate.

They don't have an egg so they are technically still a man even though you address them as females. I'm not being close minded a all.

Why are people so sensitive with comparisons and ignore the substance of it? That seems like a good comparison to me.

So... I have had my uterus and ovaries removed due to health issues, does that mean I am no longer a woman? Technically I don't have an egg either.

Are you seriously saying that's being sensitive? And ignoring the substance? You have no idea what you're talking about if you can compare the two.

I don't think that's a fair comparison because they were actually born with it. They would just be a woman missing female parts. But I'll give it to you anyways.

And yes that is being sensitive and ignoring he substance. How don't I know what I'm talking about? You claimed that if you can't love and stay with someone because they are transgender then you don't deserve anyone to care for you. How is that not a parallel statement to "if you refuse to make babies with a child molester then you don't deserve kids a all"?

Of course it's fair. They're just as female as I am, regardless of body parts.

And yes, I did. Because you don't know what love is if you can't still care about them. Love and caring for people? That shits supposed to be unconditional, not 'well, you know you kinda did this so now I don't have to care about you anymore'.

A transgendered person isn't a criminal. They haven't done anything that makes them a bad person. They are people. People who deserve to be accepted for who they are. A child molester is a criminal who hurts children. Two extremely different types of people. There is no comparison.

These posts read as thinly veiled hate for a minority group, plain and simple. And I refuse to further acknowledge your existence.

@wolverine08: She set herself up for that one man. I had to do it. I don't even care about the consequences lol.

You two act as if that is some form of insult? To be referred to as a male? Am I supposed to get angry? Be agitated? Offended? We're in a thread discussing being transgendered and I've clearly made my viewpoint of gender being a social construct clear. So if my gender is so fluid that you see me as both male and female, I am nothing but flattered.

#2 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@raiiyn said:

Don't call me lady, kid. If you were attracted to them before you knew they were born a different gender, you're still attracted to them. Any changes after that is all in your head and why I state you don't deserve to have anyone care about you. You're allowing your biases to affect how you feel about someone. My statements are ALL based on the original statement in this thread about learning your PARTNER is transgendered. Meaning you have already BEEN with them.

My bad, bro. No. Just like you can fall out of love of someone. Nothing is permanent especially not a chemical reaction in the brain. The only thing that is certain is that you don't choose these reactions. They happen involuntarily. If I'm with someone, they can do things that irk me, like being born a man. They can do things that will make me un-attracted to them. You shouldn't wish bad stuff on people who disagree with you. You should wish them on bad people. Wishes don't come true either way lol.

You fall out of love based on actions they make that hurt you or choices you make for the most part. You choose to allow someone's previous gender to hold sway over how you feel. Because guess what? Until you knew that they had a different gender at birth, you were attracted to them. You did care about them. Nothing has changed about them since this discovery except your own perceptions based off of your choice to now feel differently about them. Don't feed me some bullshit that your brain is just hardwired to now feel differently.

And I didn't wish. I clearly said deserve. Having and deserving and wishing are all very different things. And intolerant people are bad people.

@raiiyn: feelings are not the supreme decisive factor for us guys. Well most guys.

And knowing I won't be able to reproduce with this person is something that will affect my feelings, as well as the lie.

(More info- they are legally women, but they still don't have female reproductive organs, so it depends on what you personally consider women.)

When it comes to relationships, feelings actually are quite the deciding factor for males or females. Because without those, you're not attracted to someone which means theres no connection which means there's nothing.

No, it doesn't affect your feelings. It affects what you want out of life. Two very different things and it's okay for that to make you not want to be with them. Some people want kids more than they want a relationship with someone they really love and that's alright. But don't use that as some sort of excuse to hide behind for having a prejudice against transgendered people.

You don't get to tell someone what their gender is. And you have the audacity to tell me that I'm intolerant.

#3 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@erik said:

@raiiyn said:

@erik said:

@raiiyn: I do not agree with you that people that don't want to date a transgender are considered intolerant.

I think allowing it to cause feelings to change is intolerant. I also think that equating sex changes with rape and child molestation is extremely intolerant.

I disagree. It is not intolerant for feelings to change when you find out the person you had feelings for doesn't actually exist.

How do they not exist? What changed other than your perception? They are still the same person. They are still the same gender. They are still them. The person who lives in a world so intolerant and violent that they can't feel comfortable to share their history with their loved one for fear of rejection. Because that's what sex changes mean. The gender they were born is in the past.

You're making an assumption here. You're saying that the person no longer exists but that's only based on your perception because they don't fit the criteria that you've created for them. And your perceptions don't change what's objectively true about them.

#4 Edited by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@raiiyn: adoption isn't for everyone, an to say that adoption should be my goal since (in this scenario) the person I have been dating is transgender is rather absurd. I listed my goals which is what I am looking for, love is a complex thing, and if someone (in this hypothetical scenario) lied to me about their original gender then they have lost my trust, and my heart. Not only will my goals not be met if I stayed with them, but I would be concerned that more lies could be on the way.

There is are very healthy dating websites for transgender people, and many people who they could be with, but saying that everyone must be okay with dating a member of the same sex is intolerance.

I didn't say it was your option, I was merely showing that it isn't impossible.

Like I said, I can understand trust issues. I can understand it not meeting your goals even, but allowing it to affect your feelings? That's a choice.

And the intolerance here is refusing to acknowledge their sex change.

#5 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@erik said:

@raiiyn: I do not agree with you that people that don't want to date a transgender are considered intolerant.

I think allowing it to cause feelings to change is intolerant. I also think that equating sex changes with rape and child molestation is extremely intolerant.

@raiiyn said:

If you let gender or sex changes affect how you feel about someone than you don't deserve to have anyone care about you at all.

I'm reading through your post and nodding my head in agreement until I read this. Lady, sex/gender almost always affect the way we choose a mate. These preferences used to actually be critical for a small group to survive before modern technology and that's the reason why these values have stood so long throughout time. So, we can't control what we are attracted to. You are being a hypocrite if on one hand you say "Don't judge gays!" but then turn around and say "Don't let your feelings effect how you feel!" If I learn a girl is really a man before any sexual relations, I won't be attracted to her. And I cannot control that. So how dare you say I don't deserve someone to care about me lol!

Don't call me lady, kid. If you were attracted to them before you knew they were born a different gender, you're still attracted to them. Any changes after that is all in your head and why I state you don't deserve to have anyone care about you. You're allowing your biases to affect how you feel about someone. My statements are ALL based on the original statement in this thread about learning your PARTNER is transgendered. Meaning you have already BEEN with them.

@raiiyn said:

@wardemon32: You would only be bi if you were having sex with someone who was the same gender as you. A transgendered person is NOT the gender they were born which is where closed minded people seem to have the biggest issue. You are having sex with a person who is the gender they are NOW not that they WERE.

And don't you dare compare child molestation to transgendered people and relationships. That is beyond inappropriate.

They don't have an egg so they are technically still a man even though you address them as females. I'm not being close minded a all.

Why are people so sensitive with comparisons and ignore the substance of it? That seems like a good comparison to me.

So... I have had my uterus and ovaries removed due to health issues, does that mean I am no longer a woman? Technically I don't have an egg either.

Are you seriously saying that's being sensitive? And ignoring the substance? You have no idea what you're talking about if you can compare the two.

#6 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@wardemon32: You would only be bi if you were having sex with someone who was the same gender as you. A transgendered person is NOT the gender they were born which is where closed minded people seem to have the biggest issue. You are having sex with a person who is the gender they are NOW not that they WERE.

And don't you dare compare child molestation to transgendered people and relationships. That is beyond inappropriate.

@raiiyn: it is not ridiculous, for example, in my case, I would date a woman that I find nice and like being around, but also look at factors like how comparable are we, her job, and if she wants to have kids (because I do). These are my goals and they are not insane at all, there are many people out there to fall in love with, and for someone, specifically transgender (who I wouldn't be interested in to start with) lied to me and took advantage of me, I couldn't love them after that anyways. Plus having children with a former males would be impossible, and actually quite repulsing to me personally. However I respect other people's views, but I will call them out on intolerance, as you have shown in your original statement.

I can understand the first part of your post and of course compatibility is important. But you're assuming that transgendered people take advantage of the people they're in relationships with, which is not the case at all. A lie of omission should be met with empathy by a partner because obviously they would fear reactions like those in this thread that fail to understand that they are not the gender they were born but are in fact the gender they are now. Having children isn't impossible. There's something called adoption.

And you're right. I am definitely intolerant against ignorance and intolerance.

#7 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@raiiyn said:

I can't even bother to read through all of these ridiculous posts.

If you let gender or sex changes affect how you feel about someone than you don't deserve to have anyone care about you at all.

So it isn't ridiculous to say that if you're not bi(debatable on how you see it) then you don't deserve to have anyone care about you?

You don't need to be bi to love a transgendered person. My statement is a reflection on people stating they would have a change of heart over learning their partner wasn't born the gender they are now.

#8 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

@raiiyn: "if you let gender or sex affect how you feel about someone than you don't deserve to have anyone care about you at all", to be honest, rather offensive. There are multiple reasons that one can have to let sex affect who you marry or love. Religion, sexual preference, legality/rights, carry on your bloodline ect.. Your statement was extremely narrow minded to say the least.

Gender and gender characteristics are just social constructs. I would say it's more narrow-minded to allow something like religion to tell you how to feel about people than what I said by a long shot. Also, if you're dating them... their gender is clearly your preference. You're just allowing the fact that they were born a different gender to dictate how you now feel about them, which is ridiculous.

#9 Posted by Raiiyn (3454 posts) - - Show Bio

I can't even bother to read through all of these ridiculous posts.

At the end of the day, if you love someone, you love them. I can understand potentially feeling hurt and confused if it was something hidden for years and feeling like they don't trust you enough to think you would still love them... but seriously. A person is a person. Regardless of gender. If you let gender or sex changes affect how you feel about someone than you don't deserve to have anyone care about you at all.