quirky_anecdotes's forum posts

#1 Edited by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

Don't google porsche girl! Why did I google porsche girl!

Damn it google. Damn it.'

#2 Posted by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

@quirky_anecdotes: Forgive me but I take any conversation about rape, sexual assault, and sexism incredibly personal for reasons I'm not comfortable discussing with a stranger.

It's okay. People have the right to be sensitive about things but I don't think quick judgments and an Us/Them mentality is going to solve this problem.

This is going to see weird but it's like training a dog. You don't shame a dog. You train it and teach it to behave the way you want. It's about positive reinforcement and learning. Insulting people just makes them angry and devolves into a shouting match.

#3 Edited by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio
#4 Posted by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

@akbogert said:

@blood1991 said:

@betatesthighlander1 said:

@shawnbaby: I hope by never you mean essentially never, becasue I will play the "unlikely except" game with you, and I am not known for beinga t a loss for hypotheticals

@judasnixon: what about the triangle?

@lykopis: No one here is legitimately saying taht it's okay to rape someone, the debate is

*what constitutes a sex object

* what is reasonable precaution for a person to take?

* at what point does playful insenuation cross the line into genuine hurtfulness?

*There is NO such thing as a sex object. I don't care if she's shaking her breast with noting, but nipple tassels she is a person and never an object.

*People shouldn't have to take precautions in a public setting with hundreds of people around. It isn't a dark alley these women "and men" are in plain site.

*The moment the victim feels uncomfortable or violated.

There is absolutely such thing as a sex object. We're talking about the characters, not the cosplayers. If you cosplay a sex object, you are likely to receive some residual treatment because people are used to thinking of that character as subhuman, and you are in effect saying "look at me, I embody that character."

So the precaution is, when deciding what kind of character you are going to cosplay as, determining how much that character's sexualization plays a role in popularity. A character who people are constantly talking about lewdly and in an explicit manner is the sort of character who is likely to draw a lot of similar remarks for the cosplayer.

So that third part is just outright unfair. If your outfit communicates a willingness to receive some flirtation, but you personally do not feel comfortable with getting that from strangers, then you cannot fault people for responding to the nonverbal cues your outfit sends off. Now if you make it clear that you're not really into that, and they persist, sure, then they're clearly crossing the line. But to wear an outfit of a sexual nature, based on a sexualized character, and expect no sexual comments, is naive to a fault.

On the other hand, some of the most sexualized characters have personalities which outweigh the sluttiness of their outfit. Starfire, for example. Starfire wears an outfit that makes guys just sort of ogle her brainlessly, but she can also obliterate them. So a mild-mannered, easily offended girl should not attempt that cosplay, because it's likely to be as overwhelming for her as it would be for Kori if she had a mild-mannered, easily offended personality. But a woman who can straight-up shut-down the mouth-breathing creeps? Maybe Starfire's the perfect outfit for her. Both cosplayers should have taken into account what sort of comments a Starfire outfit (as opposed to, say a Starfire armor outfit) would be likely to elicit, and then made their decision based on that. In an ideal world no one would have to put up with anything, but since we don't live in such a world and never will, that's where the "precautions" come in.

(You quoted and questioned me while I was typing this but I think it basically addresses your question about "fans of Wonder Woman" and such. I'm sorry you feel like I'm making excuses for victimizers because I've belabored the point that that's not what I'm doing. Saying that a potential victim has some responsibility to try to avoid being a victim is not the same as saying that an actual victim is responsible -- nor is it to remove any of the responsibility of the victimizer.)

@v_scarlotte_rose said:

@akbogert said:

@lykopis @v_scarlotte_rose

A character who is designed to make people horny -- whose outfit is clearly designed not for practicality but for titillation -- will, if created effectively, cause most people to view the character not as a real, interesting, complete human being, but as someone whose existence is justified by how it makes you feel down below. Why any self-respecting woman wants to embody that, I don't know. I'll still personally give her the benefit of the doubt, but I don't think it's fair to expect everyone to be like me. You spend long enough thinking of a character as someone you'd love to "tap" if they were real, and then you see someone who did such a good job at recreating that character's look that she may as well be that "real" version, and you're bound to say something you wouldn't say to most people. I think it's outrageously naive to be surprised or infuriated by that.


Could you give an example of such a character?

I think people should keep inappropriate comments to themselves, even if they are infatuated with the fictional representation of the character. People shouldn't have to become part of someones sexual fantasy just because they're dressed as a character that they like.

Can anyone tell me if there is security people at conventions that deal with people behaving inappropriately? If there isn't, maybe there should be. Like, if someone does something wrong they could get thrown out or fined or something. That might make discourage people from not behaving properly.

See above for an example, if not of a character specifically designed to make people horny (though reading some old Starfire scenes does make one wonder whether she was indeed cheesecake), then one who is at least synonymous with eyecandy among many comic fans. See also the nuanced explanation of my point. If a character you like is also well-established as a common part of sex fantasies, then you should know that you are not merely embodying what you like, but what others are sexually infatuated with.

We both completely agree that people shouldn't have to worry about that and that other people should keep inappropriate comments to themselves. But since not everyone will, people do have to worry. I'm therefore trying to be practical.

As for conventions, depends on which one, and it's getting better with time. Depending on the situation, warnings or bans (even lifelong bans) can be and have been levied against offenders. I'd encourage people to make use of that system. As Meagan Marie's excellent blog discussed last week, the issue is that many cosplayers (or women in nerd cultures in general) suffer a lot of real harassment silently and don't report it. Security and enforcers can't address issues that aren't brought to their attention.

1. Bullsh!t. Basically telling women they shouldn't or can't be comic book fans because female heroes are sex fantasies for men. I have genuine respect for many of those fictional women regardless of appearance and so do many of the women that replicate their looks. Then to blame them for any inappropriate actions a person makes on their person is just. No.

2. Playing pretend doesn't mean "hey I'm really into this role why don't you tell me how F__kable i am" it means you tell them they are a great cosplayer and capture the character not that they are a dirty girl who needs a spanking.

3. How is that unfair? Should be common sense. A costume isn't a sign that reads "Hey I'm hot and ready! "I wanna hear your deepest desires big daddy!" "Will you Superman this hoe?". It is a costume being worn by a person who deserves the same respect that anybody else should get. Whether she's in a bikini and a full fledged nun she deserves to be treated respectfully.

I like how you are all about respect but shame those who you deem inappropriate Why don't you respect them? You say it's wrong for them to judge how a woman dresses (which I agree with it) but why is it okay for you to then judge them? You're doing the same exact thing they're doing. Judging them based on what you see them to be. They may act like chauvinist but they may not know any better. We shouldn't be shaming these people but teaching them why their behavior is wrong.

#5 Posted by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

@quirky_anecdotes said:

@shawnbaby said:

@quirky_anecdotes said:

@judasnixon said:

@vance_astro said:

@thecowman said:

Man, people are really picking this thing apart.

Maybe everyone would get onboard if we simplified things.

Forget about what is and what isn't sexual harassment. Here's the new rule:

Don't be an ***hole.

Everyone seems to agree that touching someone without their consent is wrong. Now whether or not shouting or saying things like "I want to **** you" counts as sexual harassment to you, it IS being an ***hole.

DON'T be an ***hole.

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

and what If I don't agree? Am I an A**hole? Am I not allowed believe in what I want? Must we all bend to the will of others? What happened to freedom? Fascism is fascism. No matter what it's fighting. It's still fascism and fascism is never right.

Obvious Troll is Obvious.

And my point is made for me. Why not debate me? Why just insult me with nothing to back it up?

You're just as mean spirited as the people you seek to condemn.

I'm not going to debate you because you are being a troll. Bye now.

Thanks for insulting me and proving my point. Hypocrisy at it's finniest. I hope you enjoy life thinking your unfathomable and always right .

#6 Edited by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

@quirky_anecdotes said:

@judasnixon said:

@vance_astro said:

@thecowman said:

Man, people are really picking this thing apart.

Maybe everyone would get onboard if we simplified things.

Forget about what is and what isn't sexual harassment. Here's the new rule:

Don't be an ***hole.

Everyone seems to agree that touching someone without their consent is wrong. Now whether or not shouting or saying things like "I want to **** you" counts as sexual harassment to you, it IS being an ***hole.

DON'T be an ***hole.

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

and what If I don't agree? Am I an A**hole? Am I not allowed believe in what I want? Must we all bend to the will of others? What happened to freedom? Fascism is fascism. No matter what it's fighting. It's still fascism and fascism is never right.

Obvious Troll is Obvious.

And my point is made for me. Why not debate me? Why just insult me with nothing to back it up?

You're just as mean spirited as the people you seek to condemn.

#7 Edited by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

@vance_astro said:

@thecowman said:

Man, people are really picking this thing apart.

Maybe everyone would get onboard if we simplified things.

Forget about what is and what isn't sexual harassment. Here's the new rule:

Don't be an ***hole.

Everyone seems to agree that touching someone without their consent is wrong. Now whether or not shouting or saying things like "I want to **** you" counts as sexual harassment to you, it IS being an ***hole.

DON'T be an ***hole.

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

and what If I don't agree? Am I an A**hole? Am I not allowed believe in what I want? Must we all bend to the will of others? What happened to freedom? Fascism is fascism. No matter what it's fighting. It's still fascism and fascism is never right.

#8 Edited by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

Are there bots on omegle?

#9 Posted by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

Blah blah keep crying. No one cares.

#10 Edited by quirky_anecdotes (344 posts) - - Show Bio

It's hard being a liberal when you hate whiny liberals.