Dealing with significant others who aren't into comics

Dealing with partners who aren’t into comics

Over the past few weeks I’ve been catching up on a small portion of the many comics I missed during my 15 year absence. Scary, I know. My local library has come quite in handy with this as I just check out trades, HCs, Essentials, etc. and have at it. Given that I work at a dormitory that doesn’t have many kids I have a lot of time to read these stories so that’s what I do for most of my shift. Unfortunately, try as I might, I’ve not been able to win my fiancée over. She likes to write rather creepy short stories but can’t get into comics.

This weekend I tried getting her to read Batwoman: Elegy, not only because of the awesome character that Katherine Kane is (traditional alliteration notwithstanding), but also because of the jaw-droppingly gorgeous artwork. Alas, due to her general lack of interest and our wedding planning, she did not. A few months ago when we were collectively less busy, I tried getting her to read Aquaman Vol 7 #6 as I found Mera’s treatment of the groping, scumbag boss to be utterly satisfying but she kept “forgetting.” Perhaps she truly did or maybe it was motivated forgetting. Who knows?

To her credit, whenever I discuss comic things she will both honestly and seriously engage me in conversation, and we do have fairly frequent comic book based discussions. A few days ago I brought up Colossus’ betrayal in UCXM Vol. 1 #304 (remember when getting holographic covers got you really psyched?) for some reason other than the fact that her brother in law is Russian, I think.

The point of all this is to get others’ input as to how they deal or don’t deal with being with a significant other who isn’t into comics the way you are, or at all? This blog was sparked by jloneblackheart's "A Milestone" blog as I've been wondering about this for a while now.

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Posted by nickthedevil

My apologies... She doesnt seem too into them... But hey man, she genuinely loves you. I can't say much in the way of dealing with a significant other who doesn't like comics. My girlfriend currently, knows i'm a Flash fanatic, and she'll listen to me geek out on occassion, and amuse me by asking questions. It's something i love about her.

Posted by Illuminatus

Get her to read Sandman.

Posted by Mercy_
Moderator
Posted by utotheg38

Dump that zero and get with a hero!

Posted by InnerVenom123

Read her comics in her sleep.

Posted by AweSam

@nickthedevil said:

My apologies... She doesnt seem too into them... But hey man, she genuinely loves you. I can't say much in the way of dealing with a significant other who doesn't like comics. My girlfriend currently, knows i'm a Flash fanatic, and she'll listen to me geek out on occassion, and amuse me by asking questions. It's something i love about her.

My girlfriend does the same, but I always stop because I can tell she's just not into it. Have you tried getting her to read any? I'm thinking of doing that lol.

Posted by VictorGrey

Take her to a comic store and let her pick out what looks the most interesting. Don't be too pushy though, haha.

Posted by Glitch_Spawn

I live in a place where almost NO girls are into comics. It's nuts.

Posted by nickthedevil

@Awesam: likewise. I stop to turn the conversation back to her. But yea, i have her reading Avengers vs X-men >_

Posted by Glitch_Spawn

Or just them something inherently sad

Posted by Aiden Cross

Respect each others interests. If she doesn't like them, respect it, and find someone else to talk about comics. You should already be glad that she making an effort to engage in talks about it.

Posted by Vance Astro

It's not hard to deal with a significant other that doesn't like what you like.She's a woman, you're a man..it's only natural it's going to work like that.As long as she doesn't have a problem with you enjoying comics, you should be good.You can come on CV and we will talk about comics with you.That's about as good as it's going to get.Not saying you're doing anything wrong,I would advise against you trying to get her to read comics.Men and women simply like different things.How many guys do you know ended up seeing a garbage movie because his girl wanted to have movie night? It sucks. You guys can have fun together without liking the exact same things.

Moderator
Posted by Glitch_Spawn

Only one girl I've ever been involved with had a pull list.

Posted by ssejllenrad

Let her read Neil Gaiman books first. Then when she's into them (when.. not if... there's no reason not like them) tell her to try out Gaiman's run on Sandman or any other Gaiman-written comic. Then expand on that.

Posted by _Cain_

@Glitch_Spawn said:

I live in a place where almost NO girls are into comics. It's nuts.

Edited by Queso6p4

@nickthedevil: My fiancee does the same and I am glad she'll at least talk about them. Avengers vs. X-Men has definitely improved over the past few issues and I'm interested in seeing how things turn out. That being said, the X-Men don't stand a chance, historically.

@Illuminatus: Good suggestion! I've loved what I've read so far and it does have a creepy edge to it that she may find appealing. I had to explain to her who Neil Gaiman was though and I occasionally tease her about it still. :)

@Mercy_: I'm definitely intrigued by this as I've only ever read one Animal Man comic and it wasn't creepy at all. Thanks for the idea, though!

@utotheg38: Appreciated but not gonna happen. :)

@InnerVenom123: This sounds pretty creepy but it is funny. I could do so in a Gilbert Gottfried voice for added measure.

@AweSam: That genuinely sux. Good luck with that!

@VictorGrey: We've done this twiceish and she grabbed some 90s Huntress comics. That's about as far as it went, though. Thanks for the reminder because we could do this again some time soon, maybe after the wedding. I try not to be pushy and just bring up titles I think she could relate to and would inspire her to write but it's always good to keep that in mind.

@Glitch_Spawn: That's most unfortunate. Are there any other shops close to you that might have a different customer base? The guys at my LCS have said that they've seen an increasing number of female customers over the past few years so that's cool. Your comment about the one girl you dated who had a pull list had me cracking up as who else besides comic readers are going to know/care what that is?

@Vance Astro: I see your point but I've seen an increasing number of women who do enjoy reading comics at my LCS (they tend to more heavily browse the independent section) and there are plenty of women who like traditionally manly hobbies/interests and vice versa. This community is definitely a god-send. I still can't believe I stumbled upon it by accident. As far as torturous movies go, she did make me see those boring Paranormal Activity movies even though I told her they'd suck. It's all about give and take, right? Sitting through those movies was a bit taxing, though.

@Aiden Cross: Aside from the guys at my LCS and the CV community, there's no one else for in depth discussion. I didn't mean to come across as ungrateful as I'm not because she doesn't even have to entertain my comic fascination, for sure. That being said, there are things/topics she's into that I could care less about but will still discuss with her in a comparable manner because that's what couples do. However, I suppose I should be more appreciative that we have a happy medium.

Edit: Thanks for all your advice, input, and perspectives, everyone! They're much appreciated.

Posted by AweSam

@nickthedevil said:

@Awesam: likewise. I stop to turn the conversation back to her. But yea, i have her reading Avengers vs X-men >_< don't judge me, i like the series!

Psst, so do I. Don't let let anyone else know, they'll burn you at the stake.

Posted by HBKTimHBK

My best friend didn't know who Lois Lane was...I almost threw her through a wall ^.^

But now she saw The Avengers, and she decently has a want to get to know more.

Posted by _Black

I just drag my girlfriend to the comic shop every so often. It's literally impossible for me to have a conversation with her about comics without a facepalm.

After we seen the Avengers at the movies, she said, "My favorite was the guy in the suit, Tommy, I think." *facepalm*

Posted by JediXMan

@Illuminatus said:

Get her to read Sandman.

This.

Moderator
Posted by Vance Astro
@JediXMan said:

@Illuminatus said:

Get her to read Sandman.

This.

You two are going to ruin a happy home :P
Moderator
Posted by Billy Batson

Yes, one of the most acclaimed comic series will ruin a happy home.
BB

Posted by Illuminatus

LOL. Billy..

Posted by ssejllenrad

Ok, here's how I got my fiance into comics... Bombardment of comic-based information. Do you know how some Bible thumpers try to convert some people to their church by sheer mass of biblical information? Y'know, when people get drunk by their scriptural lectures that one would just have to try it tout to shut them up? And the converts then become more fanatical? That's how I did it! Now she sets "comicbook days" at some parts of the week just so she can be updated with her New 52. I can't get her to read Marvel though...

Posted by Vance Astro
@Billy Batson said:

Yes, one of the most acclaimed comic series will ruin a happy home.
BB

WILL IT!
Moderator
Posted by utotheg38

Let her read Fear itself.

Chicks dig fear itself

Posted by Billy Batson

@Vance Astro said:

@Billy Batson said:

Yes, one of the most acclaimed comic series will ruin a happy home.
BB

WILL IT!

Is that a question?
BB

Posted by Mercy_

@Queso6p4: Dude, even if she doesn't like it, pick up at least the first issue for yourself. It's perfectly eerily creepy and a bit shocking. Pure awesome.

Moderator
Posted by Vance Astro
@Billy Batson said:

Is that a question?

BB

No, it's a statement.
Moderator
Posted by Mercy_

@utotheg38 said:

Let her read Fear itself.

Chicks dig fear itself

No, they really don't.

Moderator
Posted by Vance Astro
@Mercy_ said:

@utotheg38 said:

Let her read Fear itself.

Chicks dig fear itself

No, they really don't.

Bendis wouldn't even read Fear Itself.
Moderator
Posted by Billy Batson

@Vance Astro said:

@Billy Batson said:

Is that a question?

BB

No, it's a statement.

Then shouldn't it be "It will"? :p
BB

Posted by Vance Astro
@Billy Batson said:

Then shouldn't it be "It will"? :p

BB

You're going to get the clamps!
Moderator
Posted by Mercy_

@Vance Astro said:

@Mercy_ said:

@utotheg38 said:

Let her read Fear itself.

Chicks dig fear itself

No, they really don't.

Bendis wouldn't even read Fear Itself.

Blagh, Fraction.

I read an interview from Brubaker a couple months back regarding Bucky and how he was originally planning the 'death'. SOOO much better, infinitely better, than what Fraction did.

That entire damn event was a mess.

Moderator
Posted by Billy Batson

@Vance Astro said:

@Billy Batson said:

Then shouldn't it be "It will"? :p

BB

You're going to get the clamps!

BB

Posted by ssejllenrad

Ask Mephisto. He knows how to make marriages work.

Posted by utotheg38

@Mercy_ said:

@Vance Astro said:

@Mercy_ said:

@utotheg38 said:

Let her read Fear itself.

Chicks dig fear itself

No, they really don't.

Bendis wouldn't even read Fear Itself.

Blagh, Fraction.

I read an interview from Brubaker a couple months back regarding Bucky and how he was originally planning the 'death'. SOOO much better, infinitely better, than what Fraction did.

That entire damn event was a mess.

But we learned there's nothing to fear But fear itself. :O

Posted by superdum2

I can't begin to imagine your relationship, although it makes me feel grateful for my current situation. The only problem we run into is not agreeing on what is better or worse with everything.

Posted by Nelomaxwell

@Glitch_Spawn said:

Only one girl I've ever been involved with had a pull list.

Lucky dude.

Edited by BatWatch

It's a sad fact of life that most people are unable to appreciate the joy that comes with reading a good comic book. It looks like you have tried. Give up. If you do not want to be miserable for the rest of your life, then accept your SO for who they are with no intention of ever changing them. You want her to do the same for you.

Luckily, my girl likes superheroes, and she likes me reading to her. I haven't been able to get her to read comics on her own very much (so I've stopped trying), but she does like very much to cuddle up with me as I read them to her. Very much wonderfulness.

Posted by Owie

I asked my then-fiance to read a bunch of comics that were formative to me, or that I thought would be interesting to her...Moonshadow, Mage, Dark Knight Returns...some she liked a little, others not at all.  But basically since then she's basically just felt that this is my thing, and she respects it and leaves it alone (while I indoctrinate our children into the habit).  I'm lucky enough to have other friends who are into comics though.

Posted by Queso6p4

@HBKTimHBK: And here I though the general public knew who Lois Lane was. I could see not having a clue who Lana was but Lois, come on! At least the Avengers got her interested. I must say that in house Marvel movies do generate a lot of broad appeal to audiences.

@_Black: This is hilarious! At least she almost got his name right.

@JediXMan: Definitely agree with ya there.

@ssejllenrad: That's quite interesting. I'd never had thought of this and your parallel is hilarious. I picture some guy in a suit and tie on a 90 degree day, veins bulging in his face as he screams about Pre-Crisis continuity.

@Vance Astro: I actually like that character too.

@utotheg38: A mediocre series, at best. I was disappointed in it but oh well.

@superdum2: Hmmm. I hope our relationship didn't come off as being bad. People keep telling me that communication is one of the keys to maintaining a successful long-term relationship.

@Nelomaxwell: Indeed. If only I could know such joy...

@PsychoKnights: It's pretty cool that your girl likes superheroes (it's a good start) and likes you reading to her. That sounds pretty sweet! Congrats!

@Owie: I see. Seems you two have established a good understanding as well. At least the kids are open to some good old fashioned reading.

Posted by superdum2

No it didn't necessarily come off bad I've just never had a girlfriend who isn't into comics and has similar hobbies to my own. My advice to you which you have probable already heard is find a comic of something she was into at a younger age, or of a current hobby, if at all possible.

Posted by Nelomaxwell

Tell you guys what I did . My girl isn't into fiction she doesn't dig it. So i gave her books Scapled ect that mimic real life but are comics. She liked them oddly enough she was into Fables and she loves Walking Dead. So Idk. @Queso6p4: I'd say if your girl likes Creepy stories introduce her to Locke and Key.

Posted by jeanlucpicard

Give them up. Then secretly hide them in playboy magazines. it's a clear win, win here.

Posted by Queso6p4

@superdum2: That's interesting. You've had some good relationships in that regard, at least.

@Nelomaxwell: Thanks for the recommendation as I've heard of Locke and Key but have never read it.

@jeanlucpicard: Money matters have made me have to buy my books only once a month. As it's my major hobby it doesn't make me happy to have to wait. Playboy seems so...dated now but that would be worth doing just to see the reaction on her face.

Posted by cloudzackvincent

@Queso6p4: u guys are lucky , i stopped trying.... forget comics i dont think i could even get her to read "gossip girl" .. not that i tried ;P... i would say listen to Vance, u shouldn't try to force her into liking something that she doesn't.... i mean how many guys would sit through episodes of "gossip girl" or hours of "twilight" for their girlfriends..

Posted by deadpool6_6_6

Have her read superman, batman, or any character that interest her.

Posted by Soulstealer

@nickthedevil said:

@Awesam: likewise. I stop to turn the conversation back to her. But yea, i have her reading Avengers vs X-men >_< don't judge me, i like the series!

Why'd you have to treat her like that...ouch... j/k