Ultimate Flash- Part One

Other chapter was deleted, so here's this one:

Part One:

Central City:

Barry Allen had decided to stay late that fateful night. He knew Sam Scudder was guilty, and was on the verge of breaking the case wide open. His fingerprints were all over the mirror shards found covering the victim...just as he was about to find the evidence he needed, the clock struck eight. Barry's head shot up.

"Oh, no!" he said to himself. "Iris!"

As usual, Barry had forgotten his date with Iris West. As he spun out of his lab chair that night....his life was changed forever.

For once in his life, Barry moved too fast. As he spun around to run, he accidentally knocked over a shelf of chemicals, spilling it all over himself. "DAAAAAAAAMN!" he cried in frustration. An in a bizarre twist of fate, a lightning bolt crashed through the window, striking Barry. As he fell to the ground with a thud, shards of glass in his face, the irony hit him that he might die, similar to the case he stayed up so late trying to crack....he was wrong.

A golden figure, dressed with a red lightning bolt on his chest grabbed him by the collar. "Thank God for historical records." the man said. Tossing him to the floor. "Unfortunately, they forgot to mention that apparently, I was the one who gave you your powers in the first place. My name's Thawne.....Eobard Thawne." Thawne took advantage of Barry's drowsiness, punching him at super speed. "AND I. WILL. BE. YOUR. GREATEST. ENEMY!"

Surprisingly, Barry actually managed to catch a punch, despite it moving at the speed of light. He picked himself up, slowly, grunting from the tremendous pain, and moved swiftly. Before he could process what had happened, he had pushed the man out the window. But when he looked out of it, he was gone.

Barry awoke with a gasp, and touched his face to make sure everything was real. No glass in his face. He was just soaking wet. A beaker full of what looked like water was broken on the floor. "Just a dream..." he told himself. “Just a dream." Barry looked at the clock in the room, and saw that it was past midnight. He rushed out the door.

Barry started walking home. Halfway, however, the rain began to make him feel miserable. He was cold and wet and thinking he was going to die of hypothermia. A car drove by, kicking up water and splashing him with even more water, soaking him even more. He noticed a cab driving by, and shouted out to it. "TAXI!" he cried. "TAXI!" much to his chagrin, the taxi sped by him. "No you don't." he muttered, teeth chattering. He ran after the cab, desperate for a ride home. However, when he blinked, he saw no taxi in front of him. He looked back for only a second to see it fading in the distance. When he stopped, he noticed he had ran about five miles, by the looks of things, and in less than a second. He grabbed his head. "What is going on with me?" he said to himself. He starting fingering his college ring, looking at it this way and that, until he inadvertently a button on it's side, and a costume sprung out, latching itself on to Barry. "WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON?!" he shouted. Another look at his college ring told him it was copper, not silver like the one had has actually recieved. Someone had stolen his college ring and replaced it with a fake! He touched his face. "That was no dream."

On instinct, he began to run. And the world shifted around him. Everything moved in slow motion....

......and he had never felt better in his life.

He let out a scream of delight, running across the city, turning over every corner and rock, looking everywhere. After several hours of this, he finally had to stop to catch his breath. However, where he stopped just happened to be the unluckiest part of town. He turned his head to the side to see an elderly woman was being mugged in a street corner. Giving it no thought, he ran to help. "If I've got powers like those Super-people I've been hearing about, I might as well put it to good use." he mumbled to himself.

In a blur of motion, he ran past one of the muggers, striking him with a punch, and sending him flying into the air, and to the ground. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop himself in time and ran into a wall. The other mugger snickered. "Who the **** do you think you are?" he asked, "Gay *** mother**** in a spandex costume?"

"Watch the language." Barry warned.

The thug sneered. "Make me." He smiled, exposing a few teeth. He pulled a gun and shot. Everything was slow, as the chunk of lead came spiraling out of the barrel, a simple step to the side allowed Barry to dodge the bullet; he ran towards him and tackled him to the ground. "NO MORE!" He shouted, punching the man in the face. He let out a whimper, and fell into unconsciousness.

"It's okay." Barry said, trying to comfort the elderly woman. "It's okay."

"Who are you?" the woman asked. "You did that so quickly, in...A Flash...."

Barry was speechless. He had no idea what to say. "I'm the Flash." he said, without thinking. He regretted it the minute the words came out of his mouth.

"Th-thank you, sir!" the woman said.

"I have to go." Barry responded, hurrying to leave the scene. He took off down the street.

"What the hell just happened to my life...?" he asked himself.

*** *** ***

It had been two weeks since Barry gained his powers, and he was starting to feel like he was getting the hang of them. "The Flash" had even become and urban myth in Central City. He woke up, one day and grinned ear to ear. He had to pinch himself just to make sure everything he had done hadn't been a dream. He climbed out of bed and started to get ready for work. Sam Scudder's trial was today, and he was to testify.

He clicked on the TV as he tied his bow tie, and went over the last of the crime lab's evidence. It was then that he heard his girlfriend, Iris West, reporting on TV.

"....shocking, yet undeniable evidence that THE FLASH does, in fact, exist." Barry zipped over to the TV, staring as he saw a shaking camera recording his battle with the two muggers from when he first got his powers.

"Our source recorded the fight with his phone from his apartment window. Seen here is the Flash saving a woman from a mugging--"

Barry switched off the TV, confident that some publicity couldn't be too bad. He even reassured himself that even the super-guy over in Metropolis got some coverage. He then made his way out of his apartment and tried to hail a cab to work.

*** *** ***

"...found jagged glass covering the victim's body." Barry testified. "It can be presumed that the killer hit the victim repeatedly with a mirror or some other kind of glass." Barry shifted in his seat uncomfortably, straightening his bow tie. "Add to the fact the Scudder spent time in jail before working on mirrors, and told prison psychologists that working with mirrors fascinated him, and you have a weapon of choice." He paused to let what he said sink in to the jury. "Not to mention the fact that Mr. Scudder's fingerprints were found underneath the victim's fingernails. This is a fact, ladies and gentlemen: Sam Scudder is guilty of murder in the first degree." Barry and Scudder seemed to stare each other down for a while before the judge's gavel hit the stand.

As Barry began to leave the court, he overheard a cop talking into his police band.

"Car jacking?" he said. "Where are they?" Barry heard a voice on the other end answer "YOUR WAY, GENIUS! TAKE CARE OF IT!" As if to expel any doubt, a car sped by the courthouse, with three police cars in tow. Barry knew they could use the help, so he found a deserted room, and suited up.

The passenger leaned out the window, aiming his automatic rifle, firing steady bursts at the cops; one of which hit the tires of a car, causing a chain reaction that stopped all three police men.

The driver looked out his rear view mirror to see a scarlet blur heading towards them. "Aw, ****" the passenger sighed.

Flash ran up side by side with the car. "PULL OVER!" he shouted, despite knowing it wouldn't work. The passenger pulled out a handgun, but Flash was able to take him out with a powerful sock to the jaw before he was able to fire it. As the car sped up, Barry matched it, and began to formulate a plan. Bit by bit, he pried off parts to the car until only the two men were left, and they were soon apprehended.

Barry skidded to a halt, observing the scene. He was about to turn around to leave when a scarlet-gloved-hand punched his face. The golden man from before stood tall while Barry sunk to the ground.

"Youshouldn'tbehereBarry." he said swiftly, kicking him to the street. "Youareabovethem!" Thawne grabbed Flash by the collar and struck him repeatedly. He let him fall to the ground then quickly snapped his fingers, generating a sonic boom from the friction. Flash grabbed his head as he sailed through the air. Thawne circled his arms, creating a whirlwind. Flash parroted the move, and golden and scarlet met. For eternity, the whirlwinds fought, until Flash was able to get to his feet, and provided more power than Thawne could handle, sending him flying back. Flash took the advantage, grabbing the wheel of the car he had dismantled earlier and flung it at Thawne at super speed, knocking him to the ground. Flash took his chance while Thawne was temporarily dazed. "WHO ARE YOU?!" He ordered. "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!"

Thawne smiled. "I only try to make people better." He said, slyly. Thawne punched Flash across the face, and when he recovered, he was gone.

*** *** ***

The guards tossed Scudder into his cell.. "Enjoy your stay," one said, spitting on him. "You're going to be here for a looong time." With that the door was shut behind him.

Just then, Scudder saw his friend, James Jesse, in his reflection in the mirror. "Took me long enough to figure out how to get this thing working." Jesse said.

"Trickster," Scudder said, "Finally."

"We Rogues look out for each other, Mirror Master." Jesse replied. "Now let's get you out of here...nobody wants you telling the Central City Cops that the Rogues exist....we don't want to be found." Scudder jumped through the mirror into the Rogue's hideout.

"At least....Not yet...."

18 Comments
18 Comments
Posted by primepower53

3

Posted by The Poet

That was interesting. I liked the new interpretation of the origin story while still being similar to the original (with the cab but adding the mugging). I like Mirror Master and Reverse Flash more than I do Turtle...though I do miss Mazdan...

I few notes though (because I have this editing habit:

  • At one point, you say "An in a bizarre twist of fate...". I assume that should be "And in..." or "In a bizarre..."
  • I'm also not sure about the finger prints under the nails. How does that happen? DNA can get under the nails, but finger prints...not so much. If you want to keep with finger prints say they found the prints on the glass or something...
  • the costume ring is odd for me, but its fine...

Its a nice story. I could see it continuing well. I look forward to seeing what you have in mind for the rest of the series if you choose to continue it...

Moderator
Posted by RazzaTazz

I always like when Barry acts like  cop, all to often he just runs fast

Moderator
Posted by primepower53

@The Poet said:

That was interesting. I liked the new interpretation of the origin story while still being similar to the original (with the cab but adding the mugging). I like Mirror Master and Reverse Flash more than I do Turtle...though I do miss Mazdan...

I few notes though (because I have this editing habit:

  • At one point, you say "An in a bizarre twist of fate...". I assume that should be "And in..." or "In a bizarre..."
  • I'm also not sure about the finger prints under the nails. How does that happen? DNA can get under the nails, but finger prints...not so much. If you want to keep with finger prints say they found the prints on the glass or something...
  • the costume ring is odd for me, but its fine...

Its a nice story. I could see it continuing well. I look forward to seeing what you have in mind for the rest of the series if you choose to continue it...

I ACTUALLY HAVE THAT ISSUE WITH MAZDAN! I READ IT YESTERDAY!

It wasn't nails, it was a mirror/glass object the victim was hit over the head with, though I'm not sure if the same rules apply there, too. Thanks for the feedback. I actually did some tweaking to it to make it up to par with my standard stuff (I wrote it months ago) right before you posted.

Tell I said hi. :P

@RazzaTazz said:

I always like when Barry acts like cop, all to often he just runs fast

and which one does he act like in this? :P

Posted by The Poet

@primepower53: I was the first one to review that story on CV :D

ok. No problem.

he says, "olleH"

Moderator
Posted by primepower53

BUMP

Posted by primepower53

Just letting everyone know, this is supposed to be a one shot

Posted by The Poet

@primepower53 said:

Just letting everyone know, this is supposed to be a one shot

ok. cool.

Moderator
Posted by primepower53

@The Poet said:

@primepower53 said:

Just letting everyone know, this is supposed to be a one shot

ok. cool.

DAMMIT! I WANT ONE GROUP FIC TO WRITE ON MY OWN AND CAN'T DECIDE!

(Until I change my mind :P) I pick Flash

Posted by The Poet

@primepower53: don't mind me...just chuckling under my breath...

Moderator
Posted by htb106

that was really good

Posted by primepower53

@htb106 said:

that was really good

thanks@The Poet said:

@primepower53: don't mind me...just chuckling under my breath...

YOU STOP THAT! STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!

And I've decided to write The Brave and the Bold featuring The Flash and Green Lantern

Posted by kfhrfdu_89_76k

Really cool, actually. A bit too much like Geoff John, maybe, but I still like it.

Posted by primepower53

@kfhrfdu_89_76k said:

Really cool, actually. A bit too much like Geoff John, maybe, but I still like it.

thanks. Unfortunately, I've abandoned this in favor of The Brave and the Bold-The Ultimate Being part one.

Feel free to check it out if you're interested (featuring Hal Jordan and Barry Allen)

Posted by TheCannon

Cool!

Posted by CapFanboy

@primepower53: This was quite great....but it sucks it's a one shot. And I would've loved it if it had been about Wally...but we can't have everything *sigh*

Posted by primepower53

@CapFanboy said:

@primepower53: This was quite great....but it sucks it's a one shot. And I would've loved it if it had been about Wally...but we can't have everything *sigh*

I've moved on to better things...like The Red Fox (Introduction) and The Red Fox (Chapter One)

Posted by 4donkeyjohnson

This is quite good, interesting. Good job...tis a shame you have stopped this.