The Crappy Villain Vault #5
By PikminMania 0 Comments
One question before we start everybody, do you think I should put the name of the villlain on the title for each one of these blogs? If so... say so!
Now today we have a marvel villain, perhaps you know him: ARMADILLO
ITS GODZILLA!! No wait.... its an.. armadillo?
Ratings:
The Name:
I don't think I can make fun of this name too much, I mean.. he does look like an Armadillo, well an armadillo dipped in acid and then kicked in the armadillo balls a couple times, but still an armadillo. To be honest, I think I would've preferred his name as Armadillo Man instead of just the plain and boring Armadillo. But then again, if someone said to you that Armadillo is going to try and kill you, I'd say 60% of people would be like, "What the hell is an armadillo?" Making you seem a lot less cool. I give Armadillo a 6.5/10 on the crap-o-meter, already off to a good start hmmm.....
The Costume:
Gallery
Weapons & Abilities
Damn, another thing that he succeeds at. His stupid Armadillo suit makes him immune to almost all types of ice, and invincible to fire and acid. He also has the Armadillo claws of death, which I hear are very sharp. Since he was a wrestler, he can dish out some pretty cool moves, like... punching. Yeah that about the extent of what he can do, oh that and rolling. He rolls a lot. He turns into a ball of destruction and destroys a lot of sh*t around him, which is still cool. But I'd say his problem is that other than the ball ability, he doesn't have much originality. 7/10 on the crap-o-meter.
Win Record:
In his premiere fight, he fought on top of a building against Captain America after going berserk that his wife was cheating on him. I suppose this fight would count as a win for Armadillo, since his goal was to go suicide and jump off the building. He didn't die, but he did fall off the building, which is not cool. He has also joined a lot of teams, including M.O.D.O.K.'s 11. He doesn't do much in that though, other than not betray MODOK, which is also not very cool. Actually, most of his appearances are just him getting his ass kicked by a much stronger opponent, and no, that is not cool either. 9/10 on the crap-o-meter.
Worst Crime Committed
I'd say his worst crime committed is his obsession with his wife, Bonita, which literally translates out to pretty. Its really sad that someone as huge and strong as he is does what any creepy old man would do in a crappy horror movie. But Bonita must be stupid herself if she doesn't notice the giant armadillo following her around all the time. I give this stalker ma 10/10 on the crap-o-meter.
Overall:
Armadillo scored a very good 39.5/50, which means he is so far the best villain on this post! WOWSERS! I have a lot of work today, including getting stuff ready for Boston Comic Con, so I'll make this short. It would still seem that Armadillo *puts on some shades* doesn't get the armaDILLIO!! YEEEAAAHHHH-- WOW THAT WAS BAD