I think they're important, and done improperly.
You bring up a lot of instances where there were civilian deaths and they were breezed over, making the point that we don't need them because there's no effect.
So instead of removing them, I say focus on them. Tell us stories about what it's like to be a typical civilian in NYC. Tell us the stories where the hero is utterly destroyed because of the loss of life surrounding an event he was involved in. Drive alcoholics to drink and catholics to seek out their priests. These deaths, which in fact aren't even MENTIONED all that much, should be the reason these heroes do their heroing.
The problem with this? How can anyone truly like a bad guy who actually killed someone? If Electro suddenly fried a ten-year-old, even by accident or by proxy, no one would ever like Electro again. And you can't keep coming up with new interesting bad guys who are actually bad, can you?
I'd personally love to read the universe where civilian deaths have actual weight. Not all of them would be Uncle Ben type weight, but certainly enough of them would weigh on any plucky little spider-hero.
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