PatVB

@The Dark Huntress: That is simultaneously the best and worst name I've ever heard!

@The Umbra Sorcerer: Go to auth.whiskeymedia.com/. In the "Management" section, click "Change Email / Password." From there, just type a different name in the field and you're good to go! (Just remember that you can only do it once!)

Finally! Now I can finally date Mark Hamill! Thanks, Sara!

My contract is up in January, so I'm probably going to get the best of whatever is available then.

Man I could not stop laughing through that entire article. I wish he would write more stuff, because he is far and away the funniest person on Cracked's staff.

Holy crap, Norm, you are some kind of superhero. Great job on these!

@Sparklykiss said:

@pat4327 said:

The answer is, unequivocally, Batman.

You would. You're terrible.

Whoa. Step off, bro. Do you think the answer is NOT Batman?

The answer is, unequivocally, Batman.

I'm a couple of hours too late, but happy birthday!

Hahaha, this was hilarious! And I sincerely hope that if Michael Bay gets arrested, he doesn't use The Rock as an escape blueprint. Mostly because that movie was about breaking IN to Alcatraz.

I'll be in my bun--BARF. Nothing about this is ok! Why would you post this?!