The Sanga

When I was in college I was a Buddhist, I studied it and even had the chance to go on a retreat (But it fell through). One of the tenets that I took from it was the idea of the Sanga, which if I remember correctly are the companions you gain on your way to enlightenment. I write that to shout out my crew.

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Wolves like them

I want to be cold as the winter's moon. I want to be as uncaring as the the seas in the midst of a hurricane. I wish to be as intense as the fires of the sun. I wish to be a wolf like them. Tearing out hearts and leaving them where they lay. I wish I was born with a black heart, destroying souls and ruining lives. I wish sometimes I was like my father. The man was a rake in pain but he had fun hiding it.

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Exhibit A: The Transformation.

I'm f**kin done. I'm tired of compromising and I'm tired of being made out to be some kind of villain because I don't want to share, you especially when I promised you'd never have to share me...Even when I couldn't help falling hopelessly maddeningly in love with you while she was in the same room. I battled that and even left your life because I was afraid of mistakes I might make and the wrongs I might do. But now that I'm back and free and ready to give you all of me to wait for you...You tell me you want me to share...The shining one was right...and now I see what turns gentlemen into wolves...wolves who run rampant on your kind...I was born a wolf...from the loins of a wolf...but yet I chose my heart and became a man instead...when I am closets to that Alpha male that I had come from...but yet you all seem to want to see this gentleman a wolf again...I see that now...I tried to be good... but nice guys finish last...and wolves strip the meat from their bones...testament one...I told you what my totem was...now you decide to try me and see how far to grandmother's house you could get...jokes on you "sweetie" (as you so emphatically called me) You can't have your cake and eat it too...but a broken heart will make a nice snack...I'm about to reach the stars from the earth...and because I can't accept this I'm changing it...I did so think your words were clever...always the clever young lady...but they can be sent back with poison at their tips aimed at that heart that had held my own...I've always measured cost of things...but this I'll give for free...Maybe now I'll see you never.

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The Amazing...Sensational...No Spectacular prayer of Nelo Maxwell

Of all the prayers I could write down. I’m a bit disappointed that its this one. To not care. Not care when she talks to him on the phone…or that she’s not being honest about it…or that she owes me nothing…or that they talk about sex and she laughs at his jokes…and that at some point they’re probably mocking me…I want to not have dreams about fighting over women…I want to have dreams about making art…My craft is my only grace from these things…People are completely unreliable for good things…but bad shit is easy to predict…I am talented and I’d love to live in the notion that my art is all I need…that no more is required…That I will be fine without… God I wish I could be fine without…I’m tired of shit seeming so simple and easy for others…but so damn stressful for me and mine…what’s that about? Who says all suffering is sweet? Sadists probably…I am not by any stretch of the imagination asking for much. Just to reach into my own mind and turn off the switch that cause me to care about what she does and who she does it with…I want to not care…I also want to be fair in my choices…endurance…strength young man she said…and I intend to take that either to heart or to the grave…but let my art exist as a testament to my difference…my uniqueness to my…extraordinary…uncanny talents that are both amazing and spectacular… Real initials are RR…and my sister in law says I remind her of Peter Parker…Let’s hope she’s right.

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What I'd like to see for Luke Cage in the Future

I was thinking that Luke Cage's wife should die and he should be made a single father. Then he should visit Isaiah Bradley for some kind of guidance and become the new Truth, then Patriot should become his side kick. That would allow him to have his own book as Marvel's favorite Black Man and touch on his super soldier roots, he might also be able to get into the Tuskegee experiments their long term effects and the treatment of people of color in the American prison system.

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The Wolf...The Man...The Hero...The Dreamer

I’m gonna lose you…After freeing up myself of the restrains of obsolete coupling. I’ve finally allowed myself ….to be…where we needed us to be…And you’ve decided to make no compromises…just so we could have us all to ourselves…even if we are 1000 miles away and neither of us sleep alone all the time…We got ourselves where we needed to be for us…And now in spite of myself… in spite of my screaming in the face of providence…saying “I will not surrender, I will have what I want!”…as the wolf…or the man…the hero…or the Dreamer, for you know I am all of those…I am going to lose you…and In providences face all I can do is laugh manically like the melancholy clown whose joy and sorry share one expression ... I get the joke and It’s not funny anymore…and It never was.

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