Call me dirty liberal hippie, but today’s the terribly neglected Earth Day. It’s a holiday that I happen to be incredibly fond of. It’s not funded by a greeting card company. It’s not disgustingly commercialized and riding off corporate greed. It’s not materialistically superficial. It’s not a slothful and gluttonized fatty feast of tooth-rotting candy or massacred poultry. I know what you’re thinking, “Well where’s the fun in that?” It’s a fair question, I'll give you that. The truth is that Earth day isn't the above…but as long as you plant a tree, it can be! How great is that? The Irish can plant a pine completely plastered. Heck, chop it down for 2012's apocalyptic Mayan Christmas just so long as you plant more. Give the gift of earthen things. Make a card! Exchange gifts if you're the shallow needy type. Devour your dead birds and butcher your pumpkins today…but damn it…recognize it's Earth day too! It wasn’t made for you, twas made for all. So what’s my moral? Get off your lazy stank-butt and clean and contribute to the bettering of our world! I’m planting apple seeds in the park. Ten minutes is all it takes. I’m picking up litter too, something I do regularly anyway. It’s that simple. Is it so hard to do something important? Helping out might make you feel a little less of a closeted flesh waste and a little more like someone that actually matters. Who knows, maybe you're not an insignificant fleshling after all. =P
What blustering young 80's boy wasn't (now embarrassingly) fascinated by the notorious Great Pit of Carkoon? Excluding the Venus flytrap addition seen exclusively in the Special Edition of Return of the Jedi, the Sarlacc's best described as a great gaping maw of man-eating maliciousness. Dare I say what's always been in our minds, the vagina dentate resemblance doesn't go unnoticed. Simultaneously you have the Temple of Doom being released the next year. Children were so traumatized by the visuals of the Thuggee priest Mola Ram's "school of cardiology" that it helped spawn the PG-13 rating. .. ..
....Coincidentally coinciding with the release of these films was George Lucas's relatively bloody and long-lasting divorce. So enters man-devouring space vaginas and hearts literally being ripped out in the name of the Hindu goddess of death and destruction. So Uncle George…bitter much? So I submit a question; do we have heart-pounding (no pun intended) blockbuster action or really subliminal male chauvinism as a result of behind-the-scenes heartbreak? You decide…
Many people ask “Why Boba Fett?” when I reveal my favorite Star Wars character. I've got an unnatural Boba Fettish, as I put it. Granted I’ll be the first to admit that he was conceptually a glorified extra with only one plot-point: Take freeze-pop Solo from point A to B. It’s in the mystery that he intrigued world attention. Ole’ bucket head’s always been visually a little boys dream (cool armor inevitably spawns fascination) but what elevated him to icon status was his obscurity. Luke Skywalker had a thorough every-man background. Han Solo’s space-pirate personality was notorious. Darth Vader’s history was explained, albeit delivering a few revelations along the way. Boba Fett was something else entirely. Before Attack of the Clones unfortunately decided to deliver the coup de grâce to that said ambiguity…he was instantaneously empathetic. He had no major affiliate, merely out for his own wellbeing. He was faceless but identifiable, connecting any and all minorities and races. His appeal encompassed a larger demographic. Children of any ethnicity and gender could be the meticulous Mandalorian man-hunter. After all, at the time, for all we really knew, he…was actually she. Fett granted free-reign with his largely unexplained back-story. I could envision anything I so liked while playing in the sandbox. My imagination was endless, hardly anchored whatsoever to the films continuity. What more could an artistically budding 80‘s child ask for? Here’s Boba Fett. Here’s your empty canvass. Welcome to a galaxy far far away.