That bothers me that people think I'm not selling well when Mister Oh has a power that literally makes any NPC do what he wants them to do.
Mister Oh's forum posts
Watching him was like watching a bizarre dream. Ten feet tall, bowlegged and hunched-over, his characteristic feathery pink coat, along with his orange pants and unshaven legs, made for a healthy amount of conflicting attacks on the senses. But to top it all off, the man wore perhaps the widest smile possible on a human being. His pearly white teeth shone out like a spotlight to those who looked upon him as he continued to smile as if there was nothing amiss about the whole situation.
The man had waltzed into the interior of the Keijijo Clan headquarters as if he owned the place.
Hands pocketed and head tilted, the long lanky man sighed in admiration of his surroundings. Absolute perfection met his eyes in both aesthetic and architectural brilliance. Those of the Keijijo Elite stared at him with disgust as he approached them. Swords were drawn centimeters from their sheaths, still hidden but ready at a moment's notice. They silently elected their spokesperson and he casually strolled out to meet the visitor on the steps of the inner workings to the beautiful palace.
"Two more steps and I will have to ask you to either present proper identification or feel the cold steel of our blades outsider. You are not welcomed here. This is no home to you,"
The stranger continued to smile, sending a shiver down the collective spines of those who confronted him on the subject. He began to laugh and, contrary to the physics behind the human mouth, opened his mouth to produce a "Fuffuffuffuffu" sort of sound. This continued for more than three seconds. All of that time and all of those mocking cackles sank into the man's inner being and caused him to sweat as if they drew fatal amounts of blood.
"My name is Mister Oh!" the taller man replied, removing his hands from their pockets. "I want to make an appointment with Ishin-chan,"
"You've insulted all of us by standing here, giant. Leave now while your flesh is still on your bones,"
Mister Oh stuck his tongue out and raised his hand. Strangely, the man in front of him did the same with both of his arms. Confused chattering overtook the group of Keijijo Elite behind the conflicting duo. Squeezing his pinkie finger into a coil, Mister Oh somehow influenced the man in front of him to start strangling himself violently. Those Keijijo Elite in preparation for a fight suddenly found themselves struggling to contain their brother from committing a most undignified suicide. Pressure points would not respond. Physical force proved futile. Even trying to knock him unconscious would not stop the hands wrapping around his throat and turning his face blue from lack of oxygen. All the while, Mister Oh giggled his "Fuffuffuffuffu," entertained in the most perverse and sick of ways.
"Stop!" An older man shouted from the top of the stairs.
Mister Oh reflexively uncoiled his pinkie. Swords were fully drawn now as the man collapsed under the shadows of his brothers gasped his first inhalation in minutes.
"I said STOP!" The old man shouted again, louder, and a thunderclap resounded across the foyer.
The Keijijo Elite stopped in their tracks, fuming, but with their swords kept from being drawn by sheer willpower over their pride and anger.
"I cannot guarantee you council with Ishin-SAN," the elderly man said with gusto. "But you will certainly have a better chance inside than hurting those we call family."
Mister Oh laughed under his breath as he ascended the stairs.
"Elite. What a joke. Your skills are truly second to none, but you have forgotten what it really means to sit above others in the world. It means to act as a role model, not to flaunt your superiority in the faces of those who want to be like you. Besides, now that you've had the intent to kill on your lips, you know what my chi tastes like. Tell me, I'd like to know,"
A moment of contemplation passed. The spiritually-sensitive Keijijo Elite actually broke face for a second and cracked smiles. They started to laugh uncontrollably like children.
"Fuffuffu, I thought so,"
The old man stopped in his tracks as Mister Oh walked past him and into the compound. He knew something horrible had transpired. Like ethereal cocaine, Mister Oh's spiritual presence had hit them like a ton of bricks.
"Oh yeah - here's your tip," Mister Oh tossed a folded piece of paper at the old man. "Keep the change."
Uncertain of the intent behind such a rude gesture, the old man unfolded the paper and grimaced.
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