By KumoriKunoichi 29 Comments
So there are a few things I need to get off my chest. This has been bothering me and I am sure there are a number of things that bother others about Marvel lately. However, to not seem like a pessimist, I will start with what is good:
Chaos War: Logical reason to bring dead people back to life without excuses! Bad guy is awesome, or girl. No seriously, I thought he was a she at first. Oh well.
Avengers Academy: The storyline is a bit Bleh, but I really like all the new students, well except Striker. It'd be fun to see them and X-23 in a one shot. Or them and the New X-Men. That'd be interesting. Surge vs Finesse...GO FINESSE!
Children's Crusade: Not a Doom fan in the slightest but finally bringing back the topic of the Scarlet Witch! It's about damn time they do that! I was waiting!
Uncanny X-Force: Lawl, Fantomex made a horseman fall for Betsy. But the four of them are from different time periods which is awesome, since I don't think that was done before. And there's a woman..wait isn't there a woman in every incarnation? Lessee..Plague, the Famine Girl, Deathbird..Polaris...um...Geisha lady...Scarlet Witch in the alternate...yeah I think maybe. I'm glad a woman is dangerous cause hey, us girls need to show we're not typical..even if this new lady spits out bugs. I'll go into why I like these new horseman in a future post.
And now, the Fail of the Fail:Greg Land: I was able to put up with the art up to a point. Now I just can't look at it. Is it Emma in the picture? Or Dazzler? Or Dagger? I can't tell who's who! They all look the same. I was alright with it in the beginning as all I cared about was the story. Now I can't look at it after Idie wore two different things in two issues. And if i remember correctly, they were "back to back." Who knows. It's just horrible.
The Five Lights: Ok, before I complain, I like the character personalities and the fact that they're from all different parts of the globe. I do NOT like the fact that their powers are so mundane (except Kenji, he rocks. Probably because he's from Japan :D)
Laurie: She's blue, can fly, and has claws and stuff. Blue people: Nightcrawler (rip), Mystique, etc etc. People who can Fly: 1/2 of the X-men at least. People who have Claws: Wolverine and every incarnation and spawn, Wolfsbane, yada yada yada. Yes you're one of the big important fabled new mutants. And you're nothing but a combined version of everything that's already been used. *half-assed clap* At least she's Canadian, eh? Codename she should use: Redundant
Gabriel: Again, I think it's cool that he's Mexican, gives a little variety. But he can run and grow a beard. Yes his mutant power is to grow facial hair. Kind of a twist on speedsters, and to be honest, i'd rather have HIM than Surge because Surge is annoying. But again, he's a fabled Light and all he does is run fast. Codename he should use: Marathon. Or something like that.
Idie: Fire = Legion, Magma, Sunfire, Firebird, Human Torch, Inhuman Torch, Crystal. Yeah...no. Ice: Iceman, come on seriously? I don't even need any examples. Again, who needs a fabled mutant that does the same thing? Screw that, I would have made Wolverine one of them if I could. I mean yeah she would have been cool, but if she is Twelve, then my eyesight must suck because she looks like she's eighteen. Ok so she looked like she was twelve for one issue. Actually in that issue she looked Ten. She was very small and suddenly she grew! And grew..And grew..Like the diversity though. Codename she should use: Underage
Teon: Teon, fetch the comic boy! Fetch it! What bothered me is we didn't see anything of Teon before he became a doggy type thing. No. It's all the mentality of an animal, if that's even remotely close to what animals do. We get all excited for the fourth light, only to find that he needs to go out for a walk! Right on the Canadian's feet. God that must have been awkward. Wild Child in AOA was understandable, the big guy was killing people and well, it was sort of easy to explain why he was barkin and stuff. Blame Dark Beast. Teon? Oh one day he woke up and decided to chew his mother's shoe. He could have been swayed by a hypnotist to believe it for crying out loud. I will laugh my ass off if he rolls on his back and asks for a belly rub like my two dogs do. Codename he should use: Scruffy.
Kenji: The One of the five that actually ROCKS! I like Kenji a lot, not because he's evil or japanese, but because he has a power that isn't seen a lot! Yes! Tentacle thingies and metal that kill people and destroy buildings. If you are a therapist reading this, I swear I'm normal. But seriously, original, doesn't look like a character I want to be destroyed because he's awesome! If he dies at all, I stop reading the Five Lights story arc. Unless it gets better. Codename he should use: Tetsuo!!!!! :D
Characters that Annoy the Hell out of Me and Should be Thrown into a Pit with Other Bad Characters:
Surge: She was once awesome. Then slowly but surely, she hit puberty and became such an egotistical and annoying bitch. Seriously, ever since the X-Men returned from Limbo, she has been nothing but an absolute terror to everyone around her. Shut her mouth already. Seriously. Or have Laura do it. Please.
Daken: Yes you're Wolverine's son. We get it, you're pansexual. Who gives a damn about that. I hate you because you're annoying and are a copy of Wolverine with more douchebaggetry, not because you like guys and girls. Even if you were straight, I'd still hate you. Wolverine needs to kill you. Or Romolus, who should kill himself afterwards.
: Time to hang up the visor. Your reckless actions cost many lives, even the life of a noble and faithful teleporter nicknamed fuzzy Elf. You didn't even blink, except for pointing out that oops, you screwed up. Yeah big oops, Scott Summers. How many lives have you ruined? Let's see:
-X-23 was forced back to a weapon, even if she chose, you knew she was obedient.
-Nightcrawler died because you decided to not get off your ass and help. Wolverine, who can hold his emotions, cared more than you. You didn't even blink
-Ariel died because of you. You insisted on moving forward, not caring about who they lost. Ok so maybe you got choked up a bit. Want a medal?
-Magik was trapped because of you. You were too focused on being the big man, weren't you?
-Kitty was probably trapped because of you, and maybe Emma. But this isn't about Emma, she's awesome.
-You cheated on your wife with Emma Frost using the excuse that you were possessed. Yeah, try using that in the real world. "Oh i slept with your sister because an evil guy possessed me." And since it was "telepathic" you said it wasn't even real. Yeah, tell that to divorce court.
-Your lack of caring for the New X-Men nearly got them killed when you practically KNEW they'd try to do something because you were too busy being macho.
-Your focus on only the Messiah and your Son got Boom-Boom shot in the head by an enemy. You're lucky she came back.
-Your lack of caring for the original New X-Men started a riot.
-Cassandra Nova, nuff said.
-You forced Madrox to travel through time with his dupes, putting him in a coma. What the hell?
-You demoted Rogue because she did her job. Ass.
This is one fifth of the stuff you have done.
X-Men Legacy and Curse of the Bad ComicsYou think I'm stopping because I went all out already? Hell no.
So seriously, I need to know, was Curse of the Mutants because people were Twilight nerds? No, just no.
It was bad. And I mean bad. Forget the storyline. Bad bad bad. Don't read it.
Indra's a cool character, but a storyline on him was kinda lame. Maybe a few issues or a side story but a story? Meh. At least he's consistant with his mannerisms *COUGHMAGNETOCOUGH*
I'm beginning to wonder if a lot of different storylines, as shown from above, were excuses to do something.
Necrosha: Kill Selene, Wither and Senyaka and Resurrect Cypher.
Messiah Complex: Bring Jean back part 1
Curse of the Mutants: Repower Jubilee
Young X-Men: Kill Wolfcub
X-Men Legacy: Revisit the Children of the Vault
Nation-X: Give other lesser characters screen time
Messiah War: Bring back Stryfe and Jean's back part II (i actually like the three part series but some of it just..sucks)
Second Coming: Kill Cable, Kill Kurt and maim the crap out of other people.
Dark X-Men: Give Nate Grey screen time (he's cool) and show a Dark Side to Emma, and of course, give Selene a reason to hate her even more.
Dark Wolverine: Show the spawn of Wolverine as a prepubescent male who has rage issues. He and Hellion need to have an issue together with Chase Stein. Pure rage :D.
I can go on for a while here but I'll cut it short because this is probably getting tiresome already.
Now don't get me wrong. I love Marvel, and I grew up loving Marvel. The X-Men have always been my idols. But seriously, if this doesn't get better any time soon, I'm just going to stop reading it...
I'm going to go read X-23 fanfiction now. At least SHE never disappoints me.