By KingOfAsh 9 Comments
(Don't ask why, just go with it; I have nothing against French people by the way, or snails.)
Someone has summoned a horde of giant killer snails to attack France, so it's up to the French military to stop them! No other countries or molusks are helping them; this is between France and the snails. Due to the thankful lack of colossal killer snails on our planet, I'll have to list how big they are by the length of their shell...
Giant garden snail (30m), Giant giant African snail (100-200m), Giant black sea snails found at the beach (20m), whelk (50-500m), Giant carnivourous New Zealand snail (50m), Giant Conus/Cone Shell (100-300m), Giant pond snail (30), Giant sea snail (50m). If you can think of other snail types, list them please. Also some smaller snails that act like piranhas (only slower)
The French get all of their armed forces (army, navy, airforce, special forces). As well as that, they can have historical French people like Napolean and Joan of Arc give battle advice and leadership and such. Army is taking on the land snails, navy is taking on the sea snails and the air force is taking on both. Perhaps they can lay salt traps?
If you wish, you can also use fictional snails and ficitonal French people. So for snails that would be Gary the Snail, the snails from Inheritence, some horror movie featuring snails and...I'm not too sure about other snails in fiction. French people from fiction can include Asterixs & Oberlixs & co., the cast of Les Miserables, Pepie Le Pew, The Phantom of the Opera and more.
Well, I'm guessing that all the French people on this site now hate me, and want to make a "KingOfAsh vs a swarm of pirhannas" thread, but I'm sure you can take a joke if you may. I may even return to stick up for Oblerlix & co. All I can say that it's gonna be a feast. For whom, I can't say yet...