French Armed Forces vs Horde of Giant Killer Snails

(Don't ask why, just go with it; I have nothing against French people by the way, or snails.)

Someone has summoned a horde of giant killer snails to attack France, so it's up to the French military to stop them! No other countries or molusks are helping them; this is between France and the snails. Due to the thankful lack of colossal killer snails on our planet, I'll have to list how big they are by the length of their shell...

Giant garden snail (30m), Giant giant African snail (100-200m), Giant black sea snails found at the beach (20m), whelk (50-500m), Giant carnivourous New Zealand snail (50m), Giant Conus/Cone Shell (100-300m), Giant pond snail (30), Giant sea snail (50m). If you can think of other snail types, list them please. Also some smaller snails that act like piranhas (only slower)

The French get all of their armed forces (army, navy, airforce, special forces). As well as that, they can have historical French people like Napolean and Joan of Arc give battle advice and leadership and such. Army is taking on the land snails, navy is taking on the sea snails and the air force is taking on both. Perhaps they can lay salt traps?

If you wish, you can also use fictional snails and ficitonal French people. So for snails that would be Gary the Snail, the snails from Inheritence, some horror movie featuring snails and...I'm not too sure about other snails in fiction. French people from fiction can include Asterixs & Oberlixs & co., the cast of Les Miserables, Pepie Le Pew, The Phantom of the Opera and more.

Well, I'm guessing that all the French people on this site now hate me, and want to make a "KingOfAsh vs a swarm of pirhannas" thread, but I'm sure you can take a joke if you may. I may even return to stick up for Oblerlix & co. All I can say that it's gonna be a feast. For whom, I can't say yet...

French special forces
Giant Scary Killer Snail
Frence Warship
Normal sized, but very agressive snail
French cartoon character
Gary the Snail
9 Comments
9 Comments
Edited by imperiex96

french. branis win. and lots of air support dropin salt. salt lines on the ground around cities and tanks with special salt ammo (made just for the occasion of course) i say salt cuz it is the funniest way to go and then they can eat them

Posted by Betatesthighlander1

Couldn't the France just line it's borders with salt?

Posted by KingOfAsh

@Betatesthighlander1: Then what would they do against the dreaded sea snails?

Exposed to both the English channel and the Medeterrainian sea...
Posted by Betatesthighlander1

@KingOfAsh: isn't seawater full of salt?

Posted by Lord_Johnathan

I'm not sure any of these snails are big enough for their shells to have the needed thickness to stop a 125mm sabot from a Leclerc tank.

Posted by Picard

Jean-Luc Picard FTW:

Posted by AtPhantom

Er... Nukes?

Posted by KingOfAsh

@Betatesthighlander1 said:

@KingOfAsh: isn't seawater full of salt?

Sea

@Picard said: snails live in the ocean all the time, so...

Jean-Luc Picard FTW:

I should have said no omnipotents.

Posted by Betatesthighlander1

Should take this