Your Dad's Comics - Slave Girl
By Jotham 6 Comments
Heads up, kiddies! It's another exciting edition of Your Dad's Comics! Today, I'll be discussing a little gem called "Slave Girl." I assume this would have been one of your Dad's comics, and not your Mom's. As always, this comic is in the public domain, and can be downloaded here.
"Fine, old man, let's see the hot woman! Being a rich, handsome playboy is so tedious."
"Perhaps we knew each other, once... in another time... and another place... anyway, I'm sure it won't be important to the story."
Also, look at the old man's face. He obviously just caught a glimpse of the reader. That's the look you only see on the face of someone who's just realized they're an incidental character in a teenage boy's fantasy comic. Pure existential horror, right there.
Anyway, for those interested in the plot, the man is an archeologist who was looking for an ancient ring, which the woman happens to have on her finger. What are the chances of that, you ask? Extremely good, according to this comic.
Jeff, who apparently goes by Garth in this time period, drops a special seal on the ground right in front of the guards that reveals him as a spy. Good going, Jeff.
I don't really get the point of yelling "surrender" as you're bringing a spiked cudgel down on someone's skull. Anyway, that blow doesn't kill Jeff, and he's on his feet again a few minutes later, seemingly none the worse for wear. So, good for him, I guess.
The guards bring Jeff before their ruler, and the ruler handily demonstrates the calculating patience and diplomacy that earned him his position of authority.
I actually don't know for sure whether she did this on purpose, or if she's just extremely underqualified to carry a tray across a room.
Aww, they cut the whipping scene short.
"...now that they have been thoroughly whipped, off-panel."
"A holiday, for us? Your majesty is too generous."
They chuck the duo into the arena, but the slave girl, whose name is apparently Malu, knows a secret about the arena.
Oh, no! The lion is... actually, what is the lion doing?
Look, the guard can see us, too. What he's feeling right now is probably how a character in a Lovecraftian story feels when they realize they are like ants to the Elder Gods, except way worse.
"As you wish, your highness."
So that's it for this story. There's at least two more stories in the comic, and there's another whole issue, but I've had my fill of Slave Girl. Anyway, if you reprobates want to make your own creative work using these characters or plot, feel free.