Disclaimer: Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman are DC Comics characters (obviously), so I do not own them. Seth Rogen is an actual person, so I don't own him. Also, I blatantly stole at least one scene from Family Guy, so... yeah. However, while he is based on a real person, I'm claiming ownership of Cyborg Adolf Eichmann.
Seth Rogen gazed out over the city twinkling below him. He was waiting for a call. Suddenly, his phone rang. “Give me some good news, baby,” he said, answering it. “Seth, it's your agent,” the man at the other end replied. “Uh, yeah. I know.” “Oh, sorry,” his agent continued, “I thought you called me 'baby.' Anyway, the results are in. Green Hornet won the weekend! You beat that Vince Vaughn one and True Grit, combined!” “I'm King of the World!” Seth shouted, leaning against the railing. The railing promptly collapsed, sending him plummeting down the steep hill. Far below, but rapidly approaching, an iron fence topped with vicious spikes waited. Seth wailed incoherently as he rolled. Halfway down, he hit a large boulder which knocked him out over, then straight onto the fence. “Oh, God!” he moaned, “My intestines!” Shuddering, he looked down to see what the damage was. The spikes hadn't even penetrated his skin. He was laying on top of the spiked fence, with absolutely no injuries. “Seth,” his agent's voice carried down from above, “you okay, buddy?”
“This is my city. And I will purge it of all injustice. I am the silent guardian, I am-” “Batman! Hey, Batman!” Startled, Batman looked at the street below, where a husky, bearded man was waving to him. “What seems to be the trouble, citizen?” Batman asked, gliding down beside Seth Rogen. “Hey, Batman!” Seth began, excitedly, “I want to be your sidekick!” Batman goggled. “No, really,” Seth continued, “I can't be killed, I would be a great sidekick!” Batman stared for a minute, “Hmm,” he finally answered, “you look a little old, but maybe, it would be nice to have a sidekick who can't be killed. Are you willing to wear green spandex shorts?”
“Batman and I didn't really see eye to eye,” Seth answered Superman. “Well,” Superman replied, “I typically work alone.” “Yeah, but Superman, I'm freaking immortal,” Seth said, a slight edge of desperation in his voice, “I could be Superboy!” “There's... there's already a Superboy,” Superman said. “Yeah, but isn't he dead?” Seth asked. “No, he's alive.” “Oh,” Seth muttered, “I could have sworn I heard he died.” “Um,” Superman shifted uncomfortably, “there's always Wonder Woman.” “Oh, yeah. That's gonna work,” Seth replied, sarcastically, “I bet she'd love working with me.”
“Come to me, Wonder Woman!” Cyborg Adolf Eichmann shrieked, “Come and meet your death!” Gleefully, he clutched his anti-Amazon ray gun in his hand and glanced around. Terrified hostages crouched around him, whimpering and moaning with fear. “This is the perfect plan,” Eichmann mused to himself, “when that Schlampe shows up, I'll blast her! Sheer genius!” Looking out the doors of the bank, he could see Wonder Woman standing behind a police car. “Finally,” Eichmann chortled, “I shall have my revenge!” With growing confusion, Eichmann watched Wonder Woman eyeing the bank. She spent a moment looking towards him, then another moment looking towards the large window above the door, then she stopped to talk to a bearded man standing beside her. “What is she waiting for?” Eichmann screamed, stamping his feet in anger, “Even if she somehow learned of my anti-Amazon ray, what can she do? She must come rescue the hostages!” He turned toward the hostages and wondered who he should kill first. Suddenly he heard a noise from outside. Turning, he was just in time to see the bearded man hurtle through the air and crash through the window above him. “WHAT THE-!” he squealed as the man crashed into him, knocking him to the ground. His ray gun skittered off across the floor. The bearded man was now sitting on Eichmann's midsection, laughing uproariously. “Who... who are you?” Eichmann managed to groan out. “I am the terror that flaps in the night! I am the guy who sits right next to you on an empty subway car! I am Super Jew!” Seth replied, pausing to laugh at the superhero name he'd chosen. “Wait a minute,” Eichmann said, staring intently at Seth's face, “I know you! You are the buffoon from the movies!” “Hey!” Wonder Woman yelled, stepping into the bank. She stalked over and placed her boot firmly on Eichmann's chest, “don't you dare insult Seth Rogen, he's a comedy genius! Knocked Up is the funniest movie ever!” Eichmann stared up at her, stunned speechless. “Good work, Super Jew!” Wonder Woman yelled. “Good throw, Wonder Woman!” Seth shouted back. They high fived.
“With great power comes great responsibility,” Seth Rogen muttered, gazing out across the city. “With moderate power,” he continued, “comes moderate responsibility. Moderate responsibility... awesome.”