Well, I've made a list of his greatest victories, so in the spirit of impartiality here's a list of his most embarrassing defeats. Superman is not beaten very often, so when it happens it's particularly memorable. Here are some of Big Blue's worst days on the job:
Well, Superman, it's a new era and the first issue of a brand new volume. How do you celebrate it? By getting your booty whipped by Metallo. Granted, this was Post-Crisis Supes' first meeting with Metallo and they were reintroducing Kryptonite. But, in contrast, Silver Age Superman only needed thirteen pages to meet and beat the original Metallo. Byrne's Superman was a pretender.
Okay, so he isn't known for playing baseball, but you'd like to think the Man of Steel would be a good match against a Little League pitcher. However, the Little Leaguer here on the cover fans Superman. Sure, he later makes up some story about how he NEEDED to strike out because of some secret alien invasion he was fighting. But that's pretty hard to believe even from Superman.
Think getting struck out by a tween is bad? How about getting knocked out by one. Post-Crisis Superman gets chumped again but this time by prepubescent Davood Nassur (AKA Sinbad). Of course, Davood had low-level super powers and a high tech belt that amplified them. But is that really enough to knock Earth's greatest champion cold? Apparently.
I've seen Superman smash comets with his head, take lightning bolts to the chest, and survive multiple nuclear warheads. So imagine my surprise when The Bloodhounds took him down in this issue with a single electrified whip. Even the fact that it was a particularly good electrified whip made by Cadmus doesn't make this one feel any better. He even had to be rescued by hippies. This is a moment where Post-Crisis Superman should've considered creatine.
This may be the most embarrassing moment of Superman's childhood. In this issue he gets owned by meek Smallville High psychologist William Wright. Just check out William Wright's comicvine profile and take a good look at him. Yup. That guy beat Superboy in hand-to-hand combat. Of course, William gains awesome super-powers by sapping the wills of others, but c'mon Superboy. Just look at that feeb. Don't you think you could've tried a little harder?
Superman's honeymoon was pretty humbling. He was powerless for it because of Final Night which became a serious problem when he was kidnapped as Clark Kent by a terrorist named Rajiv. He had to be rescued by Lois who goes Rambo for a couple issues. I'm not saying there's any shame in being rescued by your old lady (especially when she's as tough as Lois Lane), but he even gives up his secret identity under truth serum in this story. Way to start your married life, Superman.
This one may be a little unfair to add, but it was pretty publicly embarrassing for Superboy. Just check out the cover. As it indicates, Superboy AND Krypto combined get beat in tug-of-war by this scrawny, old man. What the cover doesn't tell you and what the crowd watching doesn't know is that that weak, old man is really the legendary magician Merlin. He uses his magic to humiliate Superboy in front of all of Smallville. It's probably understandable that Superboy and Krypto lose tug-of-war to Merlin considering their weakness to magic, but if no one knows it was Merlin then you have to live with the shame.
