You run the Kick-Ass gauntlet!!!!!!!!!

You run the Kick-Ass gauntlet!!!!!!!!!

Round 1: Kick-Ass with his two fighting sticks, you are equipped with a baseball bat (and it can be any type you want), win by ko, fight takes place in the streets.

Round 2: Hit-Girl with a knife, You are also equipped with a knife (and it can be any type you want), PIS is off, win by injuring the other, fight also takes place in the streets.

Round 3: Big Daddy in a hand two hand fight, win by ko, fight takes place in an ally way.

Round 4: Colonel Stars and Stripes with a pistol with one ammo clip, you are also equipped with a pistol with one ammo clip, win by death or injuring the other, fight takes place in a park (You and Colonel can hide behind trees for cover).

Round 5: 25 members of the Toxic Mega C**ts all equipped with guns, you are equipped with an M4 with two ammo clips (try not to miss), win by killing all 25 members, fight takes place in a big warehouse (you can hide behind crates for cover).

Round 6: The Motherf**ker with his two pistols with one ammo clip for each pistol, you are also equipped with two pistols with one ammo clip for each pistol, win by death, fight takes place in the same big warehouse from round 5 (you and Motherf**ker can hide behind crates for cover).

Round 7: Kick-Ass with his jet pack and a RPG with two rockets, You also have a jet pack and a RPG with two rockets, win by death, fight takes place on top of the city rooftops.

You are also allowed to have an hour or two of prep time for each round (Only if needed!!!!!)

How long do you last? or do you clear it?

P.S. Have fun guys ;)

43 Comments
43 Comments
Posted by Frocharocha

Stops at Round 2. I get stomped baddly. That girl is unbeliveble skilled.

Posted by thelaughingman_Aoi

do i get to pick the type of knife baseball bat and other items.It kind of makes a difference.Also I think you mean k.o.

Posted by Batman242

Stops at Round 2. I get stomped baddly. That girl is unbeliveble skilled.

Posted by IZZR

This really does depend on who throws the knife faster and more accurately at the other in round 2, up close shes dead, shes just a kid as skilled as she might be, i train intensively, the others are no problem because they lack any real skill.

Posted by dondave

Stop at Round 2

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Posted by Perethorn

I get CURBSTOMPED at round 2

Posted by BingoTheMotherload

Nobody on the forum could get past round 2. But let's take every round separately. 1 and 3 are unbelievably easy. 4, 6 and 7 are quite simple, only 5 is tough.

Edited by Enzeru

Nobody on the forum could get past round 2. But let's take every round separately. 1 and 3 are unbelievably easy. 4, 6 and 7 are quite simple, only 5 is tough.

Nobody on the forum could get past round 1.
Anyone, who actually thinks that they can take Kick-Ass in a fight is delusional.

Posted by IZZR

@enzeru said:

@bingothemotherload said:

Nobody on the forum could get past round 2. But let's take every round separately. 1 and 3 are unbelievably easy. 4, 6 and 7 are quite simple, only 5 is tough.

Nobody on the forum could get past round 1.

Anyone, who actually thinks that they can take Kick-Ass in a fight is delusional.

Why? has he fought someone with real MMA or martial arts skill (No PIS)?

I believe getting Kick Ass in a hold and choking him out shouldn't be impossible.

Posted by Enzeru
@izzr said:

Why? has he fought someone with real MMA or martial arts skill (No PIS)?

I believe getting Kick Ass in a hold and choking him out shouldn't be impossible.

1. He received training from Kick-Ass and also from Colonel Stars 'N Stripes, or whatever his name is (although we don't know how much training exactly), but he was training with Hit-Girl for weeks and has submission skills.
On top of that he is also able to defend himself against multiple opponents for a moment and being able to do that is more than anyone here has to offer, I guess.

2. His body is full of metal plates and his nerve endings are done here and there as well, therefore his pain tolerance is much higher. Not only because of that, but also because he is an insane idiot, who seems to like the pain (he stated that after his painful training with Hit-Girl).
You, me and all the other here on the other hand would most likely not be able to keep up with his pain tolerance.

3. His conditioning is much better. He has been doing one-hand-pull up's. He has a six pack, which additionally protects him from impact. At least a little bit, since his core region is overall stronger.

4. He is better equipped... His two escrima / kali sticks >>> one baseball bat. He would have the speed advantage and could therefore block the attacks and attack even sooner and if he is facing someone small / weak, then he could maybe even block the attacks with just one stick and attack with the other one.

Barely anyone here on the board is getting past round.
I know that I'm not, since I would drop the bat and run away to protect my handsomeness.

Edited by 14NC3

Is round 1 kick-ass from the first movie or the second? If it's the first I probably lose, you see him take down 3 moderately built men with difficulty. I'm not nearly as built as the guy with the knife at the end and I don't know any martial arts or self defence techniques. Those sticks WILL hurt you and it will take a lot of punches to even hurt him a bit cause of his metal plates (for most people, unless your more built than all those guys combined), you see that when he get's a barrel thrown at him and get kicked brutally by those three guys at the same time and then almost immediately get up straight away.

If it's Kick-ass from the second movie, no-one get's past unless you're like a black-ops trained guy or a martial arts king.

Fuck you Mr. Bitey!!!

Posted by 14NC3

@enzeru:

4. He is better equipped... His two escrima / kali sticks >>> one baseball bat. He would have the speed advantage and could therefore block the attacks and attack even sooner and if he is facing someone small / weak, then he could maybe even block the attacks with just one stick and attack with the other one.

Also, this.

Edited by Wolfrazer

Jeez and weren't these movies suppose to be realistic?...Like actually realistic?

Edited by 14NC3

@wolfrazer:

They're pretty realistic. Haven't seen the second movie but it looks as realistic as the first movie and only ignores the laws of physics as much as any other normal movie. The metal plates thing looks pretty possible. What makes you say this?

Posted by Wolfrazer

@14nc3: I guess it was the last bit you said on your 1st post lol.

Edited by 14NC3

@wolfrazer:

oh haha XD I was being pretty serious about that and it still seems pretty possible to be that good at martial arts if your an average guy. Check out the kick-ass 2 trailer.

Posted by AllStarSuperman

I beat both round 4s and round 5. I get stomped any other rounds

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Edited by JackKnight
Edited by comic_book_fan

yeah I stop at round 2.

I wouldn't fill right fighting a teenage girl and she is insanely skilled but she wouldn't stab me.

Posted by Cara_Hunter
Posted by JackKnight

yeah I stop at round 2.

I wouldn't fill right fighting a teenage girl and she is insanely skilled but she wouldn't stab me.

I think I can stalemate Hit-Girl and then we become friends :)

Though I defiantly can't get passed round 5 & 7 LOL!

Posted by Pokergeist

I would clear every round but 2 and 3. I am not unskilled completly in H2H, however it is no forte of mine and Hit Girl was a little beast as well Big Daddy.

Posted by OrphanCrippler

r1: I'd take him, didn't see anything from Kick-ass that would stop the good old thai clinch. From there some nasty knees and it's over

r2: If she decides to throw it like in the first movie and i evade it, then i got a good shot. Red mists dad f*cked her up, i should be able too.

r3: tough to say how good he really is at h2h, but i should whoop nonetheless.

r4: My demise, i never held a gun in my hand in my life

Posted by Carter_esque
Posted by JackKnight

r1: I'd take him, didn't see anything from Kick-ass that would stop the good old thai clinch. From there some nasty knees and it's over

r2: If she decides to throw it like in the first movie and i evade it, then i got a good shot. Red mists dad f*cked her up, i should be able too.

r3: tough to say how good he really is at h2h, but i should whoop nonetheless.

r4: My demise, i never held a gun in my hand in my life

You didn't say how well you would do in rounds 5, 6 & 7.

Posted by OrphanCrippler

@jackknight: they abuse my lifeless corpse in a onesided affair

Posted by PieHole

I take all of them. All the Rounds mushed up into one. /SarcasmEnd, I get quite a beating in round 1 but manage to win through blood and sweat. Hit girl can stand up to Mother Russia(A walking Woman Russian tank). Stops at round 2.

Edited by the_last_kryptonian

Man, I'm starting to get tired of YOU run the gauntlet threads. What if the person reading is a fat slob? What then?

Posted by JackKnight

Man, I'm starting to get tired of YOU run the gauntlet threads. What if the person reading is a fat slob? What then?

Well it's his fault.

But what if the person reading is a highly trained solider?

Posted by sync1

I'm pretty sure we all get stomped at Rd.2

Edited by JackKnight

Damn! this there anyone on comicvine that can beat Hit-Girl? it's not like she's a Deathclaw from Fallout LOL!

Posted by ComicStooge

...Would I be able to get out of Round 2 by wussing out, then asking her on a date?

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Posted by ScottishWarlord

I stop at round 2, Id probably drop my knife into my foot out of sheer fear...

Edited by Juiceboks

Like most people I stop at Round 2. I'm a good fighter in my own right, but I've never knifed a person in my life and Hit Girl should take advantage of my lack of experience with bladed weapons with her own extensive experience killing with them. If she throws her knife and I dodge then I may have a chance but that girl is seriously no joke.

I highly doubt any real person would be able to kill 25 armed thugs with an M4 that has ONLY TWO CLIPS. I mean c'mon people that's Rambo level.

Posted by Anal_Vomit

Everybody gets stomped in round 2.

Posted by jwalser3

3. His conditioning is much better. He has been doing one-hand-pull up's. He has a six pack, which additionally protects him from impact. At least a little bit, since his core region is overall stronger.

Lmao

Any one with a little fighting knowledge could make it past round one, I'd die at round 2

Posted by silkyballfro94

I and everyone else get stomped a minute into round 1.

Edited by Guardiandevil83

I have a very limited knowledge of of martial arts. Kempo about 2 years worth. 1 year of kickboxing and akido. A few fights, and backyard sparring matches, but round 2 is too much. Even if I somehow beat Mindy, her ole ole boy or Col. Stars and Stripes destroy me.I

Edited by D3athstroke

I can probably beat shit out of kickass as he was in beginning of first movie.

Hitgirl kills me even without her knife.

Posted by Rouflex

Kick-ass propably beats me :P.

Posted by Wardemon32

So many people think they'll lose to Hit-Girl? She's more than likely going to throw the and I can dodge pretty quick so there goes her knife. I actually practice throwing knives a bit so I'm not too bad so there's my chance for tagging her. And if I miss then I will more than likely be the first to injure her since I have a longer reach and I'm not going to be swinging like those idiots we saw in the movie. I actually have more of a chance winning round 1 than 2.

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Posted by Albertphytagoras

Round 2 & 3 are going to be brutal...