By InnerVenom123 20 Comments
This one was co-written with ColonelRunAway.
"COYOTE UGLY" - Rated M
Open on a close up of a bear paw print in deep snow.
CAPTION: STRANGE: I had my doubts at first, I’ll admit that.
CAPTION: STRANGE: But the presenting symptoms seem fairly undeniable.
Pan out from paw print, to show more prints in the snow.
CAPTION: STRANGE: The ulcer is clearly inflamed enough to respond to my probing.
Tilt up to show the bottoms of large trees, revealing this to take place in a forest.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Just a few incisions...
Tilt up slightly more to reveal the hind legs of a grizzly bear, out of focus in the distance.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Almost there.
Large panel of the bear standing on its’ hind legs, as a completely naked Stephen Strange lunges at it. The bear’s front is already covered in bruises and blood stained fur.
Strange punches the bear, now on its’ back in the snow, in the face with a right hook.
Strange punches the bear in the face with a left hook.
Strange raises his fists up, as Iron Fist runs towards the scene in the background.
IRON FIST: ...STEPHEN?
IRON FIST: ARE YOU ALRI--
Strange turns to scream at Iron Fist, his fists still in the air.
STRANGE: DO NOT BREACH THE INTANGIBLE CREST!
Strange slams his fists down into the bear’s forehead.
Strange opens the bear’s mouth with one hand, and reaches inside with the other.
Strange rips out the bear’s tongue.
Strange paints his chest, using the bloodied end of the severed tongue. Iron Fist stands still in the background, a frightened but reserved expression on his face, like a child told to stand in the corner.
IRON FIST: …
CAPTION: STRANGE: His confusion is understandable.
The bloody pattern on Strange’s chest, resembling the eye of agamotto.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Try explaining surgery to someone who hasn’t studied half his life for a medical degree.
Strange’s face, his eyes closed as he mutters something. Iron Fist continues to stare in the background.
Same shot, but Strange now opens his eyes and stops talking, looking perfectly calm.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Try explaining the cosmos to mere mortals.
Same shot, but Strange turns his head to casually talk to Iron Fist.
STRANGE: I’ve just sealed a toxic leak in the timestream and prevented World War 3.
STRANGE: How has your morning been, Daniel?
Flashback to a level view of Strange’s bed, while he sleeps.
Same shot, but Strange sits up, eyes still groggy.
Same shot, but he licks his bottom lip. His eyes focus more, but not completely.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Mmm...more humid than usual today.
CAPTION: STRANGE: One of the Young Avengers is probably going to call me asking for an anti-humidity charm. I’ll have to change my voicemail again.
Same shot, but Strange opens his mouth, about to speak.
CAPTION: STRANGE: At least they’re observing the early symptoms. The atmosphere is bracing for something. Incendiary perhaps?
CAPTION: STRANGE: I’ll ask Wong to fetch the--
Same shot, but Strange closes his mouth. His eyes are now fully awake, but calm.
Strange walking away from the bed.
Danny Rand sitting in his penthouse apartment’s living room in his boxers eating cheerios and watching what appears to be the letter scene in Miami Connection.
TV: My mother was Korean...
TV: And My Father was a Black American...
Danny looks at his cereal bowl confused.
CEREAL: It is I.
CEREAL: The Sorcerer Supreme.
The milk is bubbling.
CEREAL: I need to borrow your jet.
End flashback. Strange stands in the snow, covered in splattered bear blood.
STRANGE: I asked how your morning was.
IRON FIST: Fine.
IRON FIST: My morning was going just fine.
Strange snaps his fingers.
Strange (now fully clothed in his uniform) and Iron Fist stand in the library of the Sanctum Sanctorum, though it appears impossibly huge for that building.
IRON FIST: Stephen?
IRON FIST: Why did you need my jet?
STRANGE: The procedure clearly dictated I needed to arrive for surgery, fully prepped, aboard a gilded sky-chariot.
Iron Fist glares.
IRON FIST: …
Iron Fist approaches Strange.
IRON FIST: Stephen, are you alright?
STRANGE: Why? What’s the matter?
IRON FIST: You just killed a bear with your bare hands.
STRANGE: For the cosmos.
Iron Fist standing closer to Strange.
IRON FIST: Look, Stephen, I was talking with some of the others--
STRANGE: Which team?
IRON FIST: Does it matter?
STRANGE: I don’t like you talking with those X-Men, Daniel.
IRON FIST: WE’RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
IRON FIST: Ever since...
STRANGE: Daniel, just come out with it.
IRON FIST: No one wants another Wanda.
STRANGE: Do you realize who you’re talking to?
IRON FIST: Look, I know magic better than a lot of those guys. They’ve fought it, maybe lived around it. I grew up with it.
IRON FIST: I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.
STRANGE: What a kind gesture.
Iron Fist turns to leave.
IRON FIST: I don’t want to argue.
IRON FIST: I just wanted to give you a heads up.
Strange talking to Iron Fist as he leaves.
STRANGE: By the way, I transported your jet back to the Kennedy Airport.
IRON FIST: OP: With the pilot?
Strange’s eyes glow.
Iron Fist at the front door of the Sanctum, listening for Strange.
STRANGE: OP: My mistake.
Strange stands alone.
CAPTION: STRANGE: My mistake.
Strange turns to face one of the bookcases.
Strange pulls out a standard, dusty old book.
Large shot of the extensive library, with a small Strange standing inside it. The shadows on the floor reveal light is coming in through the famous Sanctum Sanctorum window.
Flashback. Inside Danny’s private jet. Strange sits with his tray table open in front of him, a glass of whiskey on the rocks in his hands.
IRON FIST: Since when is there alcohol on this plane?
He sips the glass carefully.
STRANGE: I’m the Sorcerer Supreme.
Iron Fist reaching for his in-flight TV remote.
STRANGE: OP: Wait!
IRON FIST: What?
Strange has a look of serious dread on his face.
STRANGE: Do not turn on Channel 34.
IRON FIST: B-but--
STRANGE: DO NOT TURN ON CHANNEL 34.
Strange gulps down the rest of his glass.
IRON FIST: OP: Why?
STRANGE: The fate of humanity lies in the balance, Daniel.
Iron Fist to Strange. Strange’s glass of whiskey is nowhere to be seen.
Iron Fist to Strange.
IRON FIST: Care to enlighten me?
STRANGE: You’ve noticed the recent rise in humidity?
IRON FIST: ...You know the answer to that.
Iron Fist to Strange.
STRANGE: It’s a defensive reaction to an imminent event. The same way you’d raise your hands to shield yourself from a gun. They can’t stop the bullets--
IRON FIST: …
STRANGE: MOST PEOPLE can’t stop the bullets, but they’ll instinctively do what little they can.
Iron Fist to Strange.
STRANGE: Roughly seven hours ago, a single goat spontaneously combusted in Serbia at the precise moment Ares crossed Cronus.
IRON FIST: Isn’t Ares dea--
STRANGE: MARS. Sorry. Mars crossed Saturn.
STRANGE: After referencing every journal available to me, I’ve come to the professional opinion...
STRANGE: ...That without preventative measures, the Earth will undergo nuclear holocaust in exactly sixteen hours, forty one minutes and twelve seconds.
Iron Fist looks away awkwardly.
STRANGE: Also, I don’t like Channel 34.
IRON FIST: Of course.
End Flashback. Strange is flipping through an old notebook with no title, just a penrose triangle on the cover.
CAPTION: STRANGE: But I couldn’t have made a mistake.
Several books float around Strange, flipping through their pages. Multiple glowing red eyes appear around Strange’s head, glaring through the pages.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Page three hundred and ninety eight plus page eight thousand and thirty nine divided by the quadratic formula and subtracted by one unicorn hoof.
CAPTION: STRANGE: The equation made perfect sense.
Strange looks at the Sanctorum window.
STRANGE: Zeus, do you spite me?
STRANGE: Krishna, one of your pranks?
STRANGE: This doesn’t make any sense!
The books burst into flames around Strange.
STRANGE: WONG, I NEED--
Strange stands as the books burn around him, head lowered.
Strange looks back up and the fires die out.
Strange walks through the library, toward a makeshift door which assembles itself out of multiple parts of the room.
Strange walks through the doorway, which leads into his bedroom.
Flashback to Danny’s jet. The pilot in the cockpit speaks into his headset.
PILOT: We’ll be touching down in about 20 minutes.
Iron Fist looks out the window.
IRON FIST: Is it snowing?
STRANGE: Now Daniel, I want you to promise me--
IRON FIST: Wait, did you ever actually say where we’re going?
Strange casually removes his cloak of levitation. Iron Fist continues to look out the window.
STRANGE: Hm? Oh, I planted a suggestion in your pilot’s mind. He’s brought us to Quebec.
STRANGE: His hometown. The terms dictate it. It had to be his hometown.
Iron Fist facepalming.
IRON FIST: SMALL TEXT: Why are you in my pilot’s head? I like my pilot.
IRON FIST: SMALL TEXT: He is a nice man.
STRANGE: Now Daniel, once we land, I’ll be required to take 180,000 paces north of the city limits, and wait for the inflammation to occur. You can follow if you wish, but I want you to promise me. Promise me you won't cross my tracks, and you won’t interfere. No matter how unusual it gets.
Iron Fist looks up.
IRON FIST: UNUSUAL? How much more--
Strange hands Iron Fist his shirt.
STRANGE: Hold this.
End flashback. Iron Fist walking into the Avengers Tower rec room alongside Cap and Falcon. Hyperion and Thor look up from playing foozball in the corner. The sun is setting out the window.
IRON FIST: ...I’m really trying. But he’s not making it easy on me.
Cap looking at Falcon.
FALCON: ...Wait, what exactly did he--
HYPERION: OP: You think he’ll crack?
Iron Fist, Cap, and Falcon look as Hyperion talks to them, with Thor still playing foozball on his own in the corner.
CAP: Ease up.
HYPERION: I’ve heard you talk about the others.
HYPERION: Wanda. Bob. Simon.
IRON FIST: Not Stephen. No.
IRON FIST: He’s just got some... I don’t know, magical depression.
Hyperion turns to go back to his game with Thor.
HYPERION: Call me when he starts vanishing buildings.
Iron Fist looking at Cap and Falcon.
IRON FIST: ...Wasn’t HE evil like five times?
FALCON: It’s complicated.
THOR: OP: ODIN’S BEARD, WHY DIDN’T ANY OF YOU SHOW ME THIS GAME BEFORE NOW?!
THOR: OP: I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!
Large establishing shot of the Sanctum Sanctorum, now at night.
The Sanctum foyer, now dark and empty.
The Sanctum’s kitchen, also dark and empty.
Large shot of the Sanctum library, also dark and empty.
Books start to fly off the shelves, toward the circle of ashes still left on the floor.
CAPTION: STRANGE: It’s late.
The books spontaneously combust.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Except it’s not.
The smoke from the books takes a human shape, embers and fluttering burnt pages start to mold onto the shape.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Not here. Not in this dream.
The Sanctorum window cracks.
CAPTION: STRANGE: I’m being guided there.
Pieces of glass fly toward the shape.
CAPTION: STRANGE: So tired.
Strange sits in a large, red chair at the center of his room.
CAPTION: STRANGE: What could they possibly tell me?
Strange closes his eyes.
CAPTION: STRANGE: I can’t keep my eyes open.
The chair has morphed into a bed, and Strange turns on his side. Blankets have appeared from nowhere, covering him.
CAPTION: STRANGE: I’m not supposed to make mistakes.
Someone unseen pulls a sheet away from the bed. Strange doesn’t move.
CAPTION: STRANGE: I’m not supposed to succumb to exhaustion.
20.1 Splash Page
Wong stands over Strange’s bed, wrapping himself with the sheet. His body is distorted, pixelated, like a collage of different parts in tiny penrose triangle pixels, taking the shape of Wong.
CAPTION: STRANGE: I’m not supposed to fail.
CAPTION: STRANGE: Again.