Why I Hate Star Wars...

May 18th, 1999... 10pm
I was almost finished with my junior year of high school... I stood in line at the movie theater that I would work at 10 months into the future.... My friend Joe and I are close to the front of the line, a line going around the block to the century old theater... We have lightsabers and annoyingly whip each other across the heads when the other wasn't looking. We weren't dressed up, just in street clothes.... and my blue mohawk. Numerous people are dressed as Jedis, yet no one dressed as troopers, no Darth Vader, just annoying Jedis. We were about 15th in line, and as the doors opened, the son of the mayor pulls up and cuts in line. They proceed to the balcony, and take the front row.... I'm already pissed. We sit down next to some other friends from school and the lights go down... Everyone starts to cheer, we're ALL exicted. Those oh so familiar opening credits roll up the screen.... I'm glued to my seat. The movie plays and as excited as I am, I'm lost by the time we get to pod-racing...

I sit, watch... Gungans... It seems everything I love about the original series has been watered down. The danger and excitement aren't there as much anymore. My childhood has died.... Ok, not really... But the same thing happened with Parts II & III, sure I think the movies are just "ok", but overall, I was incredibly disappointed. I didn't really 100% figure out why until last year.

One Reason I Hate Star Wars:

The screenplays were written by George Lucas. Not all of them, but... well.. bare with me...

You may say, "IE, what about A New Hope? He wrote the screenplay for that!" Yes, he certainly did, but that film in itself was a rip off of so many other films. No, I'm not ragging on him for ripping off something. To quote one of my old band mates, Eric Hutchins, "Good artists borrow, great artists steal." He was refering to music in that instance, but sure, it can apply to movies too. So I have no qualms about A New Hope. When we get to Empire Strikes Back (best out of the series) & Return to the Jedi, no written by Lucas. The story was developed by him, but not the actual screenplay. The prequels were all written by him, and they were awful. The story wasn't god awful, but the dialogue, which leads into character development a lot for his films.... is awful. Point in case: "Hey Anakin, I know you really want to be good, but you have all this angst and I know we've only been friends for like 5 days, but can you.... kill all the younglings?" "um... ok...." Really? That's all it takes for you to not only go against EVERYTHING you've been taught in Jedi Academy, but also to do some dude's bidding you just met? SHENANIGANS! and the dialogue between Portman and Christiansen was sad. Sad in a way where it made me question why I bought a ticket. Was the acting sub-par? At times, overall I say it wasn't... I blame it massivly on Lucas' writing ability. He's amazing with coming up with a story, but falls short when writing it out.

Revelation:

I rented Fanboys with one of my buddies... We turned in on, sat back and watched.  Neither of us are psychotic when it comes to the films (Star Wars), we've seen the originals enough times to be able to recite certain areas of dialogue, but we don't know the name of the character in the far background. But, I digress, we watched Fanboys, and while I understood every joke, I laughed at almost none of them. Some of my more obsessive friends assured me the film was hilarious, but I really didn't laugh. And that's when it hit me, I have a soft spot in my heart for the original trilogy, I still love them. But when it comes to all the rest of the hoopla in the Star Wars Universe... I hate it, I can't stand it.... It's over-rated garbage existing ONLY to make money.

And let the counterpointing begin....
79 Comments
79 Comments
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Posted by Vance Astro

First...OMG Inferiorego is a mod.

Second...I agree,Star Wars is overrated garbage.
Moderator
Posted by inferiorego

First.... lol
Second... I wish they stopped BEFORE the Ewok Adventure

Staff
Posted by cly

I liked the original three.

Posted by inferiorego
cly said:
I liked the original three.
I still love them, even the muppet show... i mean Return of the Jedi
Staff
Posted by Vance Astro
inferiorego said:
First.... lolSecond... I wish they stopped BEFORE the Ewok Adventure
What pisses me off most about Star Wars is the fanboys.Going to an art school you get all douchebags who live and die by Star Wars.I hate how they try and related real life situations to Star Wars.It makes me want to go on a Hulk style rampage.
Moderator
Posted by cly
inferiorego said:
cly said: I liked the original three. I still love them, even the muppet show... i mean Return of the ... [more]
ROFL

Vance Astro said:
inferiorego said: First.... lolSecond... I wish they stopped BEFORE the Ewok Adventure What pisses me off most about Star Wars ... [more]
I bet the video on Youtube would instantly be the top viewed of all time. XD

Posted by inferiorego

My last year of college, Jake Lloyd enrolled. (Anakin in SW: Phantom Menace.) He was a decent guy, a little Hollywood for my liking, but I felt bad for him. Everyone gave him so much flak for Episode 1... It wasn't his fault. Yes, he's the not the greatest actor, but blame the casting department and the writer if you're that mad.

Staff
Posted by albanmanson

you can't hate it..

Posted by EisforExtinction

Imagine if they only made Episodes 4--6 and stopped. It would be a wonderful world. "I see friends shaking hands say..." okay wrong place.

Posted by inferiorego
@EisforExtinction: Exactly, let the book and comic writers handle the prequel and post stuff, they do a much better job anyway.
Staff
Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau

I'm somewhat like Vance. The fanboys are what get on my nerves (but there are fanboys of all kind so I tend not to hate). I actually enjoy the films and regular catch the newer cartoon versions on the Cartoon Network. Even the last three I thought were decent. Nah I cant even lie, I love the last one I dont care what anyone says. My favorite scene from any Star Wars movie is when Anakin storms the Jedi Temple. But thats me.

Posted by inferiorego

Battle on Hoth & Vader revealing he's Luke's father are forever my two favorite Star Wars moments.

Staff
Posted by Methos

Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps the brother man down, even in a galaxy far, far away. Check this s#!t: You got cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker, Nazi poster boy, blond hair, blue eyes. And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, Nubian god!

What's a Nubian?

Shut the f##k up! Now... Vader, he's a spiritual brother, y'know, down with the force and all that good shit. Then this cracker, Skywalker, gets his hands on a light saber and the boy decides he's gonna run the f##kin' universe; gets a whole clan of whites together. And they go and bust up Vader's hood, the Death Star. Now what the f##k do you call that?

Intergalactic civil war?

Gentrification! They gon' drive out the black element to make the galaxy quote, unquote, safe for white folks. And Jedi's the most insulting installment! Because Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied when he pulls off his mask to reveal a feeble, crusty, old white man! They tryin' to tell us that deep inside we all wants to be white!

Well, isn't that true?

M

Posted by Korg

Counter-point: The original 3 weren't anything special (not a strong counter, sorry). The only thing that was remarkable about them was the use of miniatures and other special effects to a greater degree and with much more success than other sci-fi works of the time period. I remember re-watching them for the first time in a few years when they were re-released in theaters in 1997 and thinking how bland the story was compared to what I was reading at the time. Special effects had obviously surpassed what made the films pioneering in that field, and I found myself thinking more about the plot, and the dialogue. There are several good reasons why Harrison Ford is still in movies and Mark Hammill is a voice-actor for cartoons (not that his voice-work isn't good). Ford is the only stand-out member of the entire cast IMO, unless you count Alec Guinness. When you strip away the initial wonderment of the special effects and the collusion of plot elements (often stolen), you're really left with films that would be completely forgettable today. I maintain that the original trilogy was about on-par with the prequels, and anything else is just nostalgia.

Edited by inferiorego
@Methos: I love Kevin Smith's dialogue... Chasing Amy has some of the best of it
Staff
Posted by inferiorego
@Korg: You may be right with the nostalgia part, I haven't rewatched them in quite a while... I sense new IE video coming up....
Staff
Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau
Methos said:
Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white man keeps ... [more]
Hahahaha I'm crackin up over here. I wish I could archive that sh!t.
Posted by Methos
Gambler said:
Methos said: Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how the white ... [more]

Here's the actual quote...

WARNING - STRONG LANGUAGE

M
Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau
Methos said:
Gambler said: Methos said: Always some white boy gotta invoke the holy trilogy. Bust this: Those movies are about how ... [more]
HAHAHAHAHA I forgot alllll about that movie. HAHAHAHA I cant breath.

"F$#@! Lando Uncle Tom n#@^*" hahaha classic


Posted by inferiorego

The scene about Jason Lee's character and the porno he takes on a trip is ALMOST as priceless.

Staff
Edited by Korg
@inferiorego:

If you happen to find yourself strangely compelled to fast-forward through scenes with Luke Skywalker dialogue, you'll know how I feel. Then your journey to the dark side will be complete, or something equally cliché. Mark Hammill would have made a great Jedi though; he never let his emotions get in the way of butchering any good dialogue they tried out on him. This mystified me when I found out he was the voice of the Joker on Batman: TAS, which he did an incredibly awesome job with.

Posted by Methos
LOL... gotta love the movie that brought us the comic "White Hatin' Coon" lol

M
Posted by inferiorego
@Korg: Hamill is an amazing voice over actor, and that is probably why I hold him in such high regard.
Staff
Posted by inferiorego
@Methos: "White Man's Country Club"


Staff
Posted by Methos

Actually, the only problem i have with the movies is the distinct lack of Mara Jade...

Something which i find utterly unforgivable

M

Edited by Vance Astro
Gambler said:
I'm somewhat like Vance. The fanboys are what get on my nerves (but there are fanboys of all kind so ... [more]
Star Wars has some cool characters and the concept isn't half bad but it's not good enough for all the fandom it gets.In fact nothing is.Nothing I have ever seen or heard of is worth being one of those convention nuts.I love Street Fighter but you ill never see me dressed up as Dudley or Balrog,bringing Street Fighter into intelligent dicussions,and spending everything I own on merchandise.
Moderator
Posted by Methos
inferiorego said:
@Methos: "White Man's Country Club"

think Golf Club for the rich and snobby and you're somewhere in the right area

M
Posted by Godaime Kazekage
Methos said:
Actually, the only problem i have with the movies is the distinct lack of Mara Jade...Something which i find utterly ... [more]
They need a 7th! That was made right after the 6th, so it would still be good, just hidden from us all of this time.
Posted by inferiorego
Methos said:
inferiorego said: @Methos: "White Man's Country Club" think Golf Club for the rich and snobby and you're somewhere in the ... [more]
I'm starting a new band... We're called "White Man's Country Club"... who wants in?
Staff
Posted by Dane

original trilogy was sweet.

Posted by geraldthesloth

Don't know how to take this..I've been a star wars fan since a little kid..I have the comics games and everything :p

Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau
@inferiorego:
Sign me up.

Posted by inferiorego
@Gambler: sweet... two man band
Staff
Posted by Vance Astro
Gambler said:
@inferiorego: Sign me up. [more]
I'm saddened by this picture.
Moderator
Posted by Graft
inferiorego said:
@Gambler: sweet... two man band
Am I pale enough to join?
Posted by inferiorego

all races and sexes are allowed to join "White Man's Country Club"
Except for Skrulls and Ewoks

Staff
Posted by Graft

sweet

Posted by geraldthesloth

Racist
Posted by Vance Astro
geraldthesloth said:
Racist
I wuv dem little furry guys.Dey remindz me of Koalas!
Moderator
Posted by inferiorego
geraldthesloth said:
Racist
my band... my rules...
Staff
Posted by Korg

Plus, they're delicious!

Posted by geraldthesloth
Vance Astro said:
geraldthesloth said: Racist I wuv dem little furry guys.Dey remindz me of Koalas! [more]
LMFAO.
Posted by Vance Astro
Korg said:
Plus, they're delicious!
Apparently according to Wizard Magazine so are Pikachu's.
Moderator
Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau
inferiorego said:
geraldthesloth said: Racist my band... my rules... [more]
Guess I'm out then lol
Posted by inferiorego
@Gambler: you're an ewok or a skrull?
Staff
Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau

Both.

Posted by inferiorego
Gambler said:
Both.
HOLY S#$%!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Staff
Posted by Jean_Luc_LeBeau

I know right? I'm hung like a gerbil.

Posted by geraldthesloth

Gamblers a skrulwok its all good.

Posted by Methos

Gambler's a blend of a Skrull and an Ewok, dressed in a green dress and matching pumps...

now, if that don't scare the s#!t out of white folks, i don't know what will :p

M

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