By Icarusflies 14 Comments
So recently I've been working on getting all my non-multipass profiles backed up so they aren't GONE FOREVER. And then after I backed them up I started turning them into multipasses. One of the non-multipass profiles was….SOLENOID SPIN! Since I can only create 3 new e-mails a day, and I had used them up for the day, I almost ended up creating a 'Save Solenoid Spin!' movement…and then it was midnight, I created new e-mails, I linked Solenoid, and that was made moot. But anyway: In the process of backing Solenoid Spin up I went through his ENITRE forum history and picked out the best parts. Now in one place, (with context!) for your enjoyment, the Best of Solenoid Spin!
Included is THE FIRST MENTION OF PUDDING!
And you'd better enjoy this…I almost died laughing in the process of making this thing. xP
Text is in spoilers because there's a LOT of it.
In the Vis Vires Base
" >spins in< Goooooood DAy! "An arm slaps him in the head an Figaro turns to Sol
Mind holding in those muppet arms of your in when your spinning?
Figaro switches his playlist to a marathon of Metal songs and his body starts to crackle with electricity
Please for the love of god, be quiet.
what were we talking about again?
How people like you make me ponder the idea of shooting myself in the head to silence you.
"Dont kill the idiot, dont kill him hes got his uses dont kill him" he begins to tell himself
Figaro slaps Sol on the shoulder replying with "Ya know, your a very strange fellow."
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE STOP!!"
Runs over and yells, "Secrets! I love secrets! Tell me, tell me!"
Shuts and locks the door and cranks the heat up to DUDE, WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU THINKING?!?!?!
Holds the pudding cup high above his head, as if it were holy
This are delicious pudding...you must nom it!
IF YOU CAN
"SOL!!" and bolts shoot at Sol
Sol...what have I told you about braking before you hit me
@Solenoid Spin:Sniffs the jelly beans and recognizes Spin's spit-stench
Nonononononononono, take them back...
I think the room is great, will look better with more bloodstains, I like pink because it's a form of red, and they make good strawberry milkshakes, I'm sure Lady T likes pink but she just won't admit it, she wears pink underwear, I know since I destroyed the washing machine once, Figaro got really mad because it wrecked his favorite T-shirt, and he made me all tingly in a painful way. I just spin and spin and spin and spin and it destroys stuff, so I spin more, I LOVE THE CIRCUS my favorite was the time the lion at the tamer, and everyone was screaming, and there was blood everywhere and EVERYONE IS MY FRIEND!
>forgets to take breath and starts to turn blue<
Solenoid and Icarus
For a time, Solenoid held IcarusMach9 hostage. He was totally convinced he was a Martian. These next interactions are from that time. (Though they include some unrelated dialogues)
Stop destroying the house or I will take your Martian away and send him back to Mars. Looks at him sternly. Do you want me to send him away? Do you?
NOOOOO! Don't take my Martian! I'll be good and not destroy the base until next week, I promise!
SHREDDY SHREDDY SHRED! >runs off to library to shred stuff, finds Icarus, gets distracted and drags him back to the main room<
Icarus: Oh, please do kill him. I would, but every time I try to stab him he thinks it is a game and spins me around until I wish I were dead.
Icarus: >Without even looking up from book< You forgot that you had an intricate plan to JUMP OFF A CLIFF AND LET ME OUT OF THIS MADHOUSE!!
Solenoid: Oh NOW I remember! What do Martians eat?
Icarus: I'M NOT A MARTIAN!
He's asleep (namely, I hit him on the head with a baseball bat until he passed out) I'm free!
This is post-Icarus, but I can't find the source and I've already gone through more than 200 pages.
@Donnieman v5.1: @The Dark Huntress: >flying tackle completely destroying the moment<
@Donnieman v5.1: ...Because I am the Pudding Guardian, and to kill me would be to instill the wrath of pudding!
"Hm….something along the lines of 'AAAGH! GET THAT MANIAC AWAY FROM ME!' and then….and then…THEY CHASED ME WITH A BROOM!"
Actual RPG posts. Context only given in case of Icarus.
Solenoid Spin had been ushered into the meeting room. He was not particularly happy about this, he had been busy playing that game where you try to get a ball attached to a string into a cup. Except he was using someone's eyeball (complete with nerve string) as the ball, and their marrow-removed thighbone as the cup. The door slammed behind him and he slouched over to a chair. Across the table were the bosses, Dreadmaster and Lady Tlieso. Then there were some other people, but Solenoid didn't really care. He was more interested in how far back he could lean his chair. Dreadmaster started to talk. Solenoid payed absolutely no attention. In the middle of his speech Solenoid fell over with a loud THUMP. From the floor he could see Dreadmaster grit his teeth but continue to talk. From his position on the ground Solenoid could see Homicide's feet. She was cute, and Solenoid liked her. He was going to ask her to go out on a killing spree with him one of these days. He could also see Dollface swinging her feet slightly, not quite able to reach the floor. Solenoid didn't like Dollface, she was always stealing his food.
Dreadmaster stopped talking, and everyone got up. Solenoid spun to his feet, badly scuffing the persian carpet. He saw Lady Tlieso stifle a murderous look as she saw him. Solenoid cheerfully waved at her, and spun over to where his buddy Figaro was standing. "Work together we are?" Solenoid asked, forgetting which order the words were supposed to go in. " Unfortunately so...now beat it. I need to get ready." Figaro shocked Solenoid, and he spun out of reach. That hurt...
A few minutes later, Solenoid arrived at the portal. It was kinda sparkly...Solenoid leaped through, and experienced the familiar vertigo of being thrown through space-time. Solenoid quickly looked at the whole yard, leaving furrows of dirt in the manicured yard. Spinning was a destructive means of transport. Solenoid was again distracted by what Figaro was holding in his hand. "These yours buddy if you kill everyone down that hallway" They were shiny....and Solenoid loved marbles! He immediately zoomed down the hallway. The violent wake tore the guards limb from limb. Solenoid paused at the end of the hall. A guard raised a gun, his arms shaking. Solenoid spun again as he fired. The bullets froze in mid-air, trapped by Solenoid's magnetic power. Then with a final spin, Solenoid sent the bullets rocketing back down the hall. More guards collapsed. Solenoid finished them off by spinning over their throats. But he should wait for the other to catch up now. He wanted that bag of marbles. But it could be a surprise! Solenoid pressed himself back against the wall. By a strange coincidence his striped costume matched the wallpaper perfectly. Giggling slightly he waited for his ambush.
Solenoid Spin waited impatiently for his own team to arrive. He wanted to ambush them. This was getting boring. And there were important people right around the corner that Solenoid could be killing. And he was hungry, and his feet hurt. This was boring. Solenoid Spin decided he was going to look around. Dead guard, dead guard, dead guard with shiny thing! Jackpot! Solenoid Spin liberated the dead guard of his keyring. It was indeed very nice and shiny. And the keys looked nice and sharp. Solenoid could do some damage with them. What was he supposed to be doing again? He didn't quite remember, but he knew if he did it right Figaro would give him a bag of marbles. Dollface had managed to lose all of Solenoid's old marbles under the couch, and Lady Tlieso wouldn't let Solenoid spin under the couch to get them.
Solenoid's old, rickety, derailed train of thought was then thrown off a cliff. More guards! Gleefully he spun at them, slashing their throat with his new set of keys. And one of them had a sandwich! This day was getting better and better. Solenoid sat down to eat his prize, when he found himself being sucked through another portal. It was blue and sparkly...
Solenoid materialized back at base. There was an unfamiliar woman there. And Solenoid's sandwich was gone! The woman (who happened to be Paradox, not that Solenoid knew or cared) must have taken it. Solenoid's eyes narrowed. "Oh, you shall rue the day you took my sandwich. You shall rue!" Solenoid began to spin, faster and faster. Then with a mighty cry, he launched himself at Paradox. "I shall eat your ear!" He screamed, intending to do just that. The unfinished 'Nom' was already on his lips.
Solenoid Spin spun spinilly, spiraling sporadically, something, something....anyway, he was spinning very fast towards the sandwich-eating intruder near the ceiling. He had not been so utterly furious since Dollface had taken his pudding. A voice floated up from below. " Nitwit, Catch!!" Ooh cool! Solenoid was a nitwit! Figaro had told him that that meant 'furiously spinning person.' Oh, right....Figaro. They had practiced this. Actually, Solenoid remembered their drill now.
The first time it was drilled. "Dumb@$$, catch!" Solenoid Spun. "GAAAAH!" and fell to the floor in a smoking heap. The second time it was drilled. "Moron, catch!" Solenoid Spin spun and collapsed the floor in a smoldering heap. Third time it was drilled..."Imbecile, catch!" Solenoid was busy trying to get his food away from Dollface, and was shocked, upon which he collapsed on top of his pudding cup. He was starting to detect a pattern here...
But this time was different. This time he was spinning really, really FAST! And he was mad! This time this was going to work! The electricity coursed across Solenoid, and then vanished for a moment. Then with an ear-splitting CRACK a concentrated electrical blast spread out from his fingers towards the evil sandwich-eater. At the same time, Solenoid felt the clicking sensation that indicated his magnetic powers in full gear. And when magnets and electricity combine...you get one really, really strong electromagnet. And hopefully a sandwich.
As Figaro took on Paradox, Solenoid Spin mostly worked on keeping his balance. He had landed back on the ground, which was not quite as stable as it had used to be. Or maybe it was more stable? Eh, didn't matter. Paradox was running towards Solenoid now, and he had started to spin again. His momentum was such that small rocks were being crushed into dust when caught in his slipstream. " Sol! Start spinning, slight chance of turbulance on the way" Figaro again....and didn't he owe Solenoid a bag of shiny marbles? Yes, yes he did! Solenoid Spin was indignant. First his sandwich, now this! "Alllreadddy spinnnnning" he said. Though it was getting harder. The ground was definitely shaking now, and Solenoid was having a difficult time keeping his balance.
In a brief flash of insight, Solenoid actually thought of a tactical maneuver. Figaro had created a vast pillar of Earth, which Solenoid leapt on top of. From here he could throw himself at Paradox, quite probably ripping her to shreds. (And a sandwich? Did people dissolve into sandwiches?) Spinning once more to build up speed, Solenoid jumped towards the melee below.
Solenoid Spin sat in his room looking at his new kitten. The nice family down the block had given it to him. "Hey! Give back our cat!" is what they had said as Solenoid spun off down the street with it. What nice people. It was a little kitten, with twice as much fluff as actual body. It glowered at him angrily, bloodlust in its adorable little eyes. Happily Solenoid grabbed it and hugged it, squishing it to himself. It yowled and scratched his face. Solenoid ignored this and started thinking of a name. Eviscerate? Pudding? Figaro? Yeah, Figaro was a great name! So original! Solenoid was going to go tell Figaro all about it. He grabbed the kitten, put it on his head (where it promptly started biting him) and spun to the main room where Figaro was lazily watching television. Solenoid Spin jumped on him. "FIGARO GUESS WHAT!" Figaro shocked him, and Solenoid fell to the floor. The kitten, now statically charged with its fluff all on end, landed on his chest. "I don't care dimwit. Go away" Figaro said, flipping the channel. "Okay, I'll tell you all about it! Meet my kitten, Figaro." Figaro turned off the TV. "You did NOT name that THING after me. Change the name. Now!" The kitten looked at him, then ran over to Figaro and started to use his leg as a scratching post. "YOW! SOLENOID!!" Figaro blasted him again, and threw the kitten at him. Crying, Solenoid ran to Lady Tlieso, but promptly forgot what it was he came for. Then he remembered. "LadyTLadyTLadyT! Can my kitten Figaro fly the team plane? Huh? Can he? PleasePleasePleasePleasePlease!" Lady T looked at him tiredly. "Yes, fine Sol. Do....whatever it is" Solenoid ran off to put the kitten in the plane. In the hallway he ran into Dreadmaster. "Hi Dread! Have you met Figaro yet?" Dreadmaster ignored this. "...Sol. I must ask you a favor. Please watch over the team until either I or Tlieso make it back to the lair, would be much appreciated." For a moment Solenoid just stood there while Dreadmaster ran off. Then he got an evil grin on his face. "I'M IN CHARGE!" he yelled, and ran off back to where the rest of the team was.
"I'M IN CHARGE!" Solenoid yelled again. The sudden noise startled the kitten, who dug its claws into Solenoid's head. "First order of business: Dollface, give me all your pudding."
Dollface wasn't listening! This wasn't fair, Dreadmaster had specifically left Solenoid in charge! If he said to hand over the pudding, then that pudding was supposed to be handed over! He would deal with Dollface in a moment. This was pudding warfare, and you couldn't go into pudding warfare without eating some pudding first. Solenoid walked into Dreadmaster's room, took some of his pudding, and walked back out. As he pulled open the lid of the pudding cup, Figaro (the cat) grabbed it and ran off. Solenoid sunk to his knees. "NOOO! My best friend ran off with my pudding!" This was bad...he had exhausted his own pudding supply earlier that day, and Dreadmaster's room had gone into lockdown. If he didn't get pudding soon well...he might have to eat something nutritious!
Solenoid spun towards Dollface's room. She was holding a blade, but that was no problem. Yay magnetism! Solenoid focused (or as close to focus as he ever really got) and the blade flew towards him. It stabbed him in the leg. Yeah, Solenoid always forgot that being the center of a magnet could hurt. He stopped spinning and began hopping around on one leg trying to get the blade out of his other leg. At that point, Figaro the cat, covered in pudding, showed his guilty face. "You! Pudding snatcher!" Solenoid yelled, and threw the knife that he had just succeeded in getting out of his leg at the cat. It missed by a mile and hit the building's main power switch. There was a shower of sparks and then everything went black. "OH MY GOD I JUST UNLEASHED A GHOST!" Solenoid yelled, having not the slightest idea what was really going on. "Does anyone have any pudding?"
Solenoid was terrified. There was a ghost on the loose! Spare him, take Figaro instead! Not the cat Figaro, the person Figaro. Solenoid loved his cat. Which pretty much guaranteed that it wouldn't survive for long. But Solenoid Spin had seen his true love a few days ago...she was so beautiful. Way better than Homicide. Solenoid knew she was the one for him the first moment he saw her sitting on that laboratory table. Oh Bertha the beaker, Solenoid would work up the courage to propose to you one day. Just don't get too scorched by hydrochloric acid in the meantime.
Solenoid was unaccustomed to this 'thinking'. Even if it was about something as wonderful as Bertha. But since he was thinking he was oblivious to everything else. As a result he was standing in the middle of the room, a string of drool dripping to the floor. He didn't snap out of it until he heard Donnie's mental message. " Listen up you idiots, it's time for you to sit down and cool off. There is no ghost and there will be no pudding wars. Solanoid, I don't care who put you in charge because they're gone now and obviously didn't know what the hell they were thinking in doing so. As far as I'm concerned, with Dreadmaster and Tlieso gone that leaves ME in charge. If anyone has a problem with that they can take it up with me. " Solenoid's eye twitched. Dreadmaster had left HIM in charge. HE WAS IN CHARGE! DONNIE WOULD NOT TAKE THAT FROM HIM!
"NO! I'M IN CHARGE! I'MINCHARGEI'MINCHARGEI'MINCHARGE!" Solenoid yelled at the top of his lungs. He was going into full tantrum mode. And unlike a toddler, who just threw himself on the floor and screamed, Solenoid spun at Mach 3 and screamed. Which was actually highly dangerous. Solenoid had already begun to spin. Faster and faster. All the magnetic objects in the room began to pull towards him. "I'M. IN. CHARGE!" For what must have been the twelfth time that day, Solenoid decided that this meant war!
Solenoid Spun faster and faster, enjoying the fear in the rest of the team's eyes. Or maybe it was just speed blurring, but whatever it was Solenoid liked it. Actually, he liked most everything to do with spinning. The spinning, the cool breeze, the spinning, the pudding getting in his eyes from where it had been spilled on the floor, the spinning...though he did not like when his teammate got caught up in his slipstream. The air around him heated up, and he started spinning even more to cool it down. Ew...and there was drool going into his face. "You want a drool fight! I'll give you a drool fight! Bleh, bleh, bleh!" Solenoid drooled too, hoping it would end up getting on his annoying teammate.
Then, a glittery shiny caught his eye. "Hey Shortbus and co. LOOKY SHINY!" Solenoid stopped short, sending everything caught in his slipstream flying. "MY SHINY!" he yelled, and dove out the windows. The shiny was a painful shiny. It made his brain all fuzzy...and...mean shiny...
Solenoid passed out, still trying to hold the electric marbles.
Solenoid Spin was in the meeting room. There was apparently a very important issue about Darkchild. So needless to say, Solenoid was paying no attention whatsoever. He had discovered that the meeting room chairs spun around, so he was seeing how fast he could spin "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" Solenoid yelled, drowning out key mission details. This was great. So far, Solenoid had spun around 3,872 times. At 3,876, the chair wore out and fell apart, sending Solenoid flying across the room. "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" he yelled, even louder than before. He skidded across the floor, and landed next to Lady Tlieso. She was holding something small. It was staring at Solenoid. Solenoid stared back. This....thing....was pure evil! Solenoid made a face at it, and it started to cry. NOOOOO! Sonic attack! Solenoid ran back to the other side of the room. This was not the end evil baby! Oh now, Solenoid would have his revenge!
Of course, Solenoid was promptly kicked out of the meeting room. He sulked outside the door for a moment, and then went to find his cat. Figaro had absolutely forbidden calling the cat Figaro, so Solenoid had to find a new name. "You shall be known as....Fluffy!" Solenoid told it. The cat glowered at him, and hissed. "No....I dub thee....FLUFFY THE DESTROYER!" Solenoid held Fluffy over his head, and it wiggled free, scampering off to find someone it actually liked. Forgetting that he wasn't allowed in the meeting room, Solenoid walked back in.
"Hey guys, I have an idea! Let's go make a giant pie, and then fill it with dead people!" With that, Solenoid was kicked out of the meeting room AGAIN.
Icarus threw open the window, a flash of lightning illuminating him in full for a single instant. Then darkness closed in again, that cloak of black that hid the players of the piéce de vivre from the audience of the eternal watchers. Icarus breathed the electrically charged air, looked out into the storm. He could feel the damp window ledge beneath his feet, and the wind whispered in his ear, trying to tear him from his perch and throw him to the streets. "Where to?" Icarus muttered. Darkchild could be anywhere. My guess? Just fly. Something is guiding you, and no matter how twisted it is it must have some purpose. Ah, so Julius actually planned to help. That would make things much, much easier. Icarus had the brains, but he much preferred to just slash his problems to ribbons of flesh and bone.
End the resistance to the wind. Plummet towards the pavement. Then...defy gravity, metal wings spread, harnessing the fickle storm. Watch the street grow smaller, smaller, until it is no more than a ripple in the darkness. A riverbed of frozen tar. Then the world fades away. Flashes of a world not your own, yet all too familiar. Icarus' face was beaded with sweat, the effort of hovering between his schizophrenic world and the reality around him. Nothing had destroyed him yet. But this psychological effort might be enough to shatter his fragile mind into tiny, irretrievable shards. Icarus, hold it together, you're slipping. And much as I hate you, I fear something much, much worse would take your place. Plus, Darkchild depends on us. Icarus shook his head, barely avoided a plane. Wait...what was unusual, this was in none of the known flight paths. Another flicker of knowledge from that other world deep within the psyche. "Julius, I'm going to follow them. They'll lead me to Darkchild." Icarus banked sharply, then flew over the plane. It was fast, but it was no challenge to match its velocity. Icarus, there's something here. I don't know what but....something is stirring in our mind. Could it be Daedalus? We've encountered him before, but I thought that was a fluke of having most of our body blown up." Julius retorted angrily. "Julius I can NOT deal with this right now. I'm channeling info on how to suppress it, I've used that on you more times than I can count. Don't think it's Daedalus, he seems to be a near-death persona, don't think stress is quite enough to bring him out." Silence for a moment, and Icarus glanced down at the plane. Unusual make...he hadn't seen anything like it before. Aerodynamic structure wasn't optimal, but only Icarus knew the true best forms. It worked, whatever...or whoever...that was, it's quieted down. But I'm frankly more than a little worried about this one. Icarus gritted his teeth, trying to focus on the delicate mental task of figuring out what the hell was going on. "Julius, one crisis at a time, okay? Unless this persona starts doing something unusual...my standards of unusual, not yours...don't bother me. I really am somewhat worried that we'll REALLY go off the deep end if I don't get a handle on this schizo-future vision thing." Icarus rolled, avoiding a bolt of lightning. Hm...plane was descending, they were below the cloud level now.
Icarus circled lazily a few times, waiting to see exactly where the plane would land. Then, going at several times the speed of sound, he crashed down besides it. Okay, I must ask: WHAT was the point of that? Icarus brushed himself off. "Because I could Julius. You have much to learn. Now shut up so I can think." There were people getting out of the plane. Icarus walked off a little ways. People were not particularly happy when they thought they were being followed, and Icarus intended to do just that. If there were any mindreaders among them Icarus' mind would probably just sound like static. Magic? Well, Icarus couldn't do much about that. He had no idea what made those of the magical persuasion tick, despite having torn quite a few of them to pieces. But they were too interested in their goal. Except for the one that was practically bouncing off the walls. He was pointing at Icarus and saying something, but he had decided to remove all his vowels from his speech for the day. Icarus understood that sort of thing, due to his psychology classes, extensive genius, or the fact that he was completely insane himself. Didn't matter really, no one was paying that one any attention. A smirk crossed Icarus' face. He could have fun with this. He walked over to the hyper man. "Hey there. I'm a Martian. I've come to tell you the secret of the universe." Julius of course had to chime in and attempt to ruin Icarus' fun. Icarus, don't. How would you like it if people treated you like that. Icarus broke off from his game with the man to answer this. "Frankly, I would have much preferred it to the vivisection they put me through. Now shut it, I'm busy." Icarus turned back to the man, who was staring at him with rapt attention. "Now then, the secret of the universe is um....pudding." Icarus had just chosen some random word, not realizing it would have quite that resonance on the now rapidly spinning man. Forgetting to speak without vowels, he ran back to his team. "I knew it! I knew it! The Martian told me the secret of the universe was pudding! Lady T, Lady T, listen! I know the meaning of EVERYTHING now! And I'm hungry. Are we almost done here?" Icarus laughed, and followed the man down the corridor.
Icarus entered after most everything else had happened, so he was pretty lost when it came to conversation. But this didn't matter. There, larger than life, was Darkchild. "I was right..." Icarus said, his eyes wide. Moving at Mach 5, Icarus dodged around the man who seemed to be controlling the weaponry, and stopped next to Darkchild. He clutched at Darkchild's hand. "Darkchild, you're back...I was at your funeral but you proved death is just as important as a revolving door." Icarus, you're babbling. Get your thoughts in order or let me talk. Icarus blinked, and decided the latter option was probably best. After a moment, Julius shook his head to clear out the last of Icarus' stray thoughts, and looked up at Darkchild. "I apologize. As Icarus was trying to say, we missed you. Things just fell apart after you died, and we were truly distraught. Icarus will probably kill me for telling you this (not that he actually has a chance) but I think he thought of you as a father-figure....erm, one that didn't try to dissect him at a regular basis." Icarus was indeed not pleased, and forced Julius to the back of his mind once more. "Julius, I am going to kill you, and tear you up, and jump on your grave! Darkchild, ignore him, he's always trying to sabotage me!" Utterly embarrassed, Icarus walked over to where the crazy spinning man was still trying to get the one know as Lady T's attention. As Icarus passed he pointed and yelled "IT'S THE MARTIAN!" He began to spin and inexplicably Icarus felt his metal suit being drawn towards the vortex. Somehow Icarus found himself lying under the man, who was attempting to dance on top of him. "I CAUGHT A MARTIAN, I CAUGHT A MARTIAN" the man sang.----
Solenoid was depressed. There was something wrong with Figaro. He wasn't giving Solenoid good ideas anymore, like jumping into lakes, or sticking his fingers in the electrical outlets. When Solenoid tried to talk with him or tackle him, Figaro would just walk off. So Solenoid would go to Lady T, or Donnie, and spill pudding on their stuff, and they would ignore him too! At least Solenoid had his Martian. But the Martian kept locking himself into the scary dark book room, and Solenoid was afraid to follow him there. Before Warsman would go drag the Martian out of the scary book room for Solenoid, but he was busy watching Figaro.
Solenoid decided that he wouldn't grace the others with his presence. He decided to snoop around Dreadmaster's old room. Maybe he had something interesting in there. The door was locked, so Solenoid broke it down. He poked at some stuff half-heartedly, but it just wasn't the same without everyone yelling at him. Solenoid sighed and went to his room. He poked at the pudding on the bed, and sat on the floor. A plan was brewing. He had to get Figaro back to normal. Somehow. That or he could go take all the neighborhood cats...
At this thought, Solenoid perked up. There were cats! And they would be his! All his! He raced out the door, and angry yells echoed across the city.
CATS CATS CATS CATS CATS! Solenoid raced down the streets, pursuing the highly irritated felines. Solenoid loved cats. Cats hated Solenoid. At least 90% of the neighbors around here had cats. Solenoid intended to obtain eleventy hundred percent of them. He even had his special cat-catching hat on! It had lots of feathers! Shiny feathers...actually, Solenoid was more interested in the hat than the cats were. Every time one of them would try to play with it Solenoid would pull it away and fume.
Now, Solenoid was waiting behind a tree. He was very well camouflaged! That leaf on his head was sure to fool everyone! There! The cat was out of the house! Solenoid used his binoculars (backwards) to see where it was. How did it get so very far away? Solenoid dropped the binoculars in puzzlement. There it was! He picked up the binoculars again. Nooo! It was a sonic-speed super-cat! Solenoid waited a moment, then pounced! The cat easily side-stepped him but did not count on it collar being attracted to him. Solenoid found spinning often did get him what he wanted. Solenoid squeezed the cat happily (it unhappily scratched his face) and ran to his wagon. In it were a dozen cats, all yowling viciously. Solenoid put the current cat into the cart, and went to the next house.
Dawn rose to the sounds of many people wondering who took their cats, and why on Earth there were pudding cups everywhere. It also found Solenoid wearing all the cats (live and unharmed) like a coat. He rushed into the base, where absolutely nothing had happened. Yeesh! Did anything get done around here without him? Solenoid walked over to Warsman, who was looking murderous and holding a cup of coffee. "Servant guy! Take these cats to my room!" Solenoid had not quite gotten the picture that a)Warsman could beat him to a bloody pulp, b)Warsman was higher ranking than him, and c)Warsman was mad. He left the cats and went to bother the Martian until something interesting happened.
Solenoid had no idea how he got where he was, what he was doing, or who that dashingly handsome man who looked exactly like him was. There was pudding involved though. Much, much pudding. And that was all that mattered.
The cause of Solenoid's amnesia was his trip to the mental world known as the Land of Pudding. It was also called Solenoid's frontal cortex. Which was more than a little mushy at the moment. So while he had been on 'autopilot' acting the same as always, he had really been pretending he had been launching cats with catapults into pudding pits.
But now Solenoid was back in whatever his concept of the real world was! " Sol, take point with me. We take down the first wave, Darkchild follow with Dollface and make a road for myself and Homicide.We will get close to the leader, once he falls the others will follow" Figaro yelled. What on earth did that mean? Was Solenoid supposed to go sharpen pencils? This didn't really seem like a good time for that. Or was it...were pencils really the super-secret weapon to end this battle?
While Solenoid was pondering, Figaro was getting swamped. " Sol what the f@#k are you doing? Get in here..." Solenoid glanced at him and decided whatever it was he was supposed to be doing could wait. He went back to thinking about quails and how to make them explode. " You help me the rest of the trip, I will supply you with a lifetime of pudding now get the hell down here NOW!!" Those were the magic words! Solenoid immediately started spinning as fast as he could. In his mind, the Flight of the Valkyries played. "BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!" he sang. Then he charged into the swarming masses. Blood spattered everywhere as Solenoid cut through them. A pancreas landed on his head, and made a very jaunty beret. Figaro was saved! Solenoid would get his pudding! Hurrah!
It was Solenoid Spin's day off. Actually, the Vis Vires had called it something else. Something more like, "Sol, if you don't get the hell out of here for a day we're going to kill you...now PLEASE clean up that mess and just go" day. It seems they didn't like Solenoid's present to the team: Filling the training room with bunnies. What would they ever do in case of a bunny invasion now? Well, Solenoid could save them! He was prepared for all cute fuzzy animal attacks.
Solenoid was actually quite happy to have a day off. Today was 'new pudding day' when the supermarkets restocked their pudding. And rumor had it that there was a new, super-fancy pudding being released today! Solenoid could hardly wait! He even had his special 'new pudding day' hat on! It was an empty pudding cup embossed with smiley faces. Solenoid had made it himself! He was very proud of it.
Now he strolled down the streets to the Wonderland land of Wonder Supermarket. (Also known as Giant). As soon as he walked into the automatic doors. (Literally walked into them...he never did quite get the hang of those. The managements' eyes widened with happiness. Some of them even fainted with joy. "OH MY GOD IT'S THE CRAZY SUPER-VILLAIN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" One yelled, opening the door for Solenoid as he fled to the parking lot.
Solenoid stepped inside, and immediately raced to the pudding isle. There was SOMEONE ELSE THERE! HOW DARE THEY TOUCH HIS WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL PUDDING! Solenoid Spin's eyes narrowed, and his hat slipped slightly down on his head. Not only that...but they were putting the LAST BOX of the new fancy pudding into their cart.
Solenoid Spin did not hesitate. "FOR MEOW MIX!" he cried, sliding across the newly-waxed floor towards the oblivious bald shopper.
Solenoid's feet skidded along the floor. He decided that this must be what surfing was like. Nothing could beat floor surfing. Except maybe pudding...no absolutely nothing could beat pudding. Speaking of which...the pudding stealing foe was right in front of Solenoid. Then he vanished! Solenoid wondered if this was just another figment of his imagination. No, no...Solenoid could not have imagined something as terrible as that pudding stealing monster.
Naturally, Solenoid completely missed DaggerKlutz. He skidded by at high speeds, heading straight for the laboriously stacked canned pudding display. Things seemed to move in slow motion as Solenoid crashed into it face first. Now usually Solenoid would love to be surrounded by pudding. But this pudding was different. This pudding was evil. This pudding was....SUGAR FREE! "No! Sugar-free pudding...my one weakness..." Solenoid gasped, extending his arm dramatically. The pudding fell off him as he moved.
Happily, Solenoid raced away from the display of EVIL! He skidded around a corner to the cereal isle. This was the backside of the shelf from the pudding isle. Solenoid pushed the shelf. He would trap this nefarious fiend under boxes of pudding and Lucky Charms! Munching on a handful of the latter, Solenoid upended the shelf.
The shelf creaked, and slowly upended. Like a lovely, pudding-filled Titanic, it sank to the grocery store floor. There was a sickening crash, mixed with a 'splortch'. Pudding, like blood, oozed out of the shelf. Solenoid watched in horror. What had he done?! That poor, innocent pudding! And now the cereal was contaminating it, little crunchy marshmallows and flakes of (bleh) Oat-Bran and the like. Solenoid sank to his knees. "OH PUDDING GOD! FORGIVE ME THIS SLAUGHTER!" He cried, beating his fists in the pudding whose life ended much too early. Where was the pudding-stealer? He was supposed to break the pudding's fall! This was all his fault! Solenoid picked up a mashed cup, Hamlet style. "Oh Yorrick, I knew thee well! Rest in peace knowing that thou shalt be avenged!' Solenoid let the pudding cup fall to the ground, no longer clean or newly waxed.
From empty air, the pudding-stealer appeared. " Y ou truly are a clever opponent. Had I not recognize you as the mastermind you are, that previous attempt would have defeated me. But I, the evil DaggerKlutz, am too smart to be fooled by you, master planner. I can tell you are a professional at psychological warfare. The Meow Mix comment made it very clear to me. But whatever your motive to attack me, I will not allow your words to get to me" Solenoid screeched. THE PUDDING STEALER WAS ALSO A GHOST!!! A few synapses clicked in Solenoid's brain. Very, very few synapses. "YOU ARE THE GHOST OF PUDDING PAST!" Solenoid yelled, looking around wildly for the ghosts of pudding present and future. They had to be here somewhere! They must be trying to tell Solenoid that he wasn't eating enough pudding.
The ghost picked up a broom, and ran towards Solenoid. He closed his eyes, no doubt focusing on the ghost-power that would make the broom hurt if it hit Solenoid! Solenoid had to think of something, and fast! The ghost was aiming so masterfully at Solenoid, he was bound to hit him if he just stood there! But what to do?
Solenoid spotted a nearby toddler sitting in a cart. That was it! Toddlers had such awesome, unstoppable power....Solenoid raced over to it, and picked it up. The toddler's face scrunched up in anger, and it prepared to scream mightily. Before this could happen, Solenoid hurled it at the Ghost.
Warning: The RPers in this RPG are trained professionals on a closed forum. Do not attempt.
The toddler flew through the air, spreading his arms and making 'vroom, vroom' sounds. He was immensely happy pretending to be a plane. His Thomas the Tank Engine bib flapped slightly, splattering jam on the floor. Solenoid was confused. He thought the child would shriek, it's terrible, terrible, banshee scream. Whenever Solenoid went anywhere near Kaz, Lady Tlieso's son, horrible pain always followed. Solenoid would pick up the kid, and spin him around, and then the kid would giggle, or scream and then Figaro would run in, yelling. Then Solenoid typically passed out.
But this toddler was not screaming, and Solenoid seemed to still be conscious...this was very curious indeed. Perhaps...perhaps...the pudding stealer had an infant-protection shield! That had to explain it! He did seem to levitate the child in mid-air, and send him running off in the other direction. Solenoid stared after him, as he ran to his mother and started yelling "MOMMY MOMMY! I CAN FLY! VROOM VROOM!" He ran around her in circles with his arms out, still making plane sounds. Solenoid considered joining him. That looked fun!
Then something hit him in the head. Due to his mushy brain, Solenoid didn't feel much. He did wonder what hit him though So Solenoid picked it up. It was an Organic Peanut Butter lid. Solenoid felt his heart begin to race, and his eyes widened. Peanut butter was....NUTRITIOUS! Solenoid couldn't breathe! This was horrible! " You will never defeat me. Mwuhahahahahaha!" Solenoid turned, still clutching the peanut butter cap. More of the lids hit him in the chest and face. He could smell the nutrition on them! Solenoid screeched, covering his head, and running away. He tripped over a janitor's bucket and mop, and slid towards the fish counter. He crashed into the glass, flipping over the counter. There was a haddock staring at her. No...he thought they were only legend! The haddock...the greatest weapon of all time.
Solenoid picked it up by the tail, and leaped back over the remains of the counter. He raced at the pudding-stealer, and swung the fish at his shiny head.
Solenoid Spin woke up, leaping out of bed. The owner of the bed was currently cowering in a corner, wondering how this maniac had ended up in his house. Solenoid completely ignored him, and ran straight to the pantry. He rummaged through it eagerly, looking for his favorite snack. There was none. Solenoid tore through the packages wondering if maybe it was hidden. BUT IT WASN'T. Now Solenoid was angry. He ran over to the person who owned the house, and who presumably stocked the cabinets. Solenoid grabbed him by the collar. "Where….is the PUDDING!" he shouted. The man sobbed slightly, wondering what he had ever done to deserve this. "I…I'm diabetic. I can't have pudding!" Solenoid Spin's breath caught in his throat. "NO PUDDING?! You…you are lost to me!" Solenoid threw the man to the side, and leaped out the window. It was time to get some pudding.
He spun as fast as he could to the Supermarket. All his friends were there, screaming in terror! They must have been waiting for him since his last visit! Who knew that fish could explode? Solenoid shook his head, lost in fond memories. Then he broke through the front doors, and zoomed over to the pudding aisle...
Solenoid stared open-mouthed at the shelves, and then shrieked, "WHERE IS THE PUDDING!" A terrified sales clerk, obviously offered up as sacrifice so that the rest of the sales clerks could flee for their lives, answered, "I'm sorry sir…it seems all the pudding in the world has vanished."
At this point Solenoid had two choices: He could collapse into the floor in a coma…or he could stage a daring rescue mission to restore pudding to the world! IT WAS TIME TO SAVE THE PUDDINGS! AND GO ON AN EPIC QUEST! Solenoid was going to call it…PUDDING QUEST!
olenoid stood in the middle the not-so-super market, not exactly sure where to start. It seemed hopeless…all those fruits and vegetable at that table over there were mocking his lack of pudding! He glared at them for a bit, but they WOULDN'T STOP! Solenoid wouldn't stand for it! He tackled the table, splattering fruit remains everywhere. He madly pummeled the pulpy mess, only stopping when Big Bird appeared near him. " Hello, my name is OSTRICHARD, how may I help you?" Solenoid's eyes filled with tears. " sing my ostrich-like skills of deductions, I deduce that you want pudding, and are displeased by the general absence of it. Therefore, I will help you! For it is the duty of a hero, like me, to help all of human (and ostrich) kind, even those dressed in clothes as ridiculous as yours!" Solenoid went to give Big Bird a giant hug. "BIG BIRD! I THOUGHT YOU DIED AFTER I HUGGED YOU TOO MUCH!" He had missed Big Bird. The one one Sesame Street was a blatant fraud! "And it's the Pudding QUEST. Not pudding hunt." Solenoid was completely decided on this matter. Hunting for pudding did not convey the importance of finding it…but to QUEST for it! That showed how deadly serious Solenoid was.
Another person crashed through the ceiling. Solenoid completely ignored them, intent on hugging Big Bird. " Alright... where is the pudding and who do I need to kill to get it, because i've got a serious pudding craving." Solenoid began to cry. "THE PUDDING IS GOOONNNEEE!" But…maybe there was pudding in this guy's head! Solenoid abandoned Big Bird, and began trying to gnaw the other man's head.
This was not a good start to the Quest. On the other hand, it could have been much worse. At least Solenoid remembered to wear clothes this time.