(This was formerly in the 'super bio' section of my profile before the site update).

Clementine: The Green Guinea Pig

Clementine Penelope G_____was a normal guinea pig. She would eat anything put in front of her, and purred loudly when cuddled. Then one day, she tried something very few guinea pigs had done before....she climbed up the stairs on her own. Her willpower was intense as she pulled herself up each step for that tantalizing piece of lettuce. Her little orange mohawk swayed in the breeze. As she bit into the piece of lettuce, her task complete, Clementine's life changed forever. A Green Lantern ring burst through the window. "Clementine of Earth, you have incredible willpower. Welcome to the Green Lantern Corps" Clementine wiggled her nose to show she accepted the ring. It flew onto her little finger, and Clementine recited the Green Lantern oath:

In Brightest Day, In Purple House


No Cel'ry will escape my mouf


Let Those who hide Romaine wi'out qualms


Beware my power...
GREEN GUINEA PIG'S NOMS!

A bright green light filled the air, and Clementine became....the Green Guinea Pig. Fighting for truth, justice, and tasty vegetables across the universe!

Due to the insistence of her owner, Clementine took up a secret identity. She wanted to be called Destroyer of Lettuce, but decided to take her owner's mantle of Icarusflies instead. She is assisted in her eternal quest for justice by the Pet Lantern Corps, fuzzy guardians of the universe!

Powers:

Clementine has incredible willpower, allowing her to use the Green Power ring to its full potential.

She also has a 'cuteness aura' preventing her from getting hurt in any way.

Clementine possesses the power of the 'epic nom'. While it does not do any real damage, it can pierce anything, and it REALLY HURTS!

Weaknesses:

Clementine has a 'tickle spot'. If she is rubbed there she wiggles uncontrollably and is more or less incapacitated.

FUD: If food is available, Clementine will be distracted by it.

Orange juice makes Clementine exceedingly hyper.

---

Clementine is beloved by both the heroes and villains of the Vine, who adore feeding and petting her.

Transportation:

Aside from flight, Clementine's favorite means of transportation is to ride in the upside-down Purple House.

Link to list of my other RPG profiles

It's been fun, and I'll miss you all! But things have come up in real life that makes it impossible for me to stick around any longer. Since this is so sudden, and I really do love you all, I think I owe you an explanation.

Pretty simply, I got a job! I know usually I say that I want to be a writer, or a doctor, but this is one of my earliest dreams: I'm actually working with NASA!!!! (On the ground though...not really astronaut material unfortunately). I don't really talk about it much, but I do have a lot of experience. It helps that I'm not a younger gal like I usually claim, I'm actually that 40-year-old guy your parents warned you about. Sorry. I didn't want to admit it since comics are usually thought of as a young-people's game and well...no one really wants to talk to the old guy. No offense to any of my brothers here, but you know what I'm talking about.

Though actually, I'm still not being honest with you. I'm sorry, it's habit. I've been hiding these things for so long, it's so hard to talk about them! The real reason I'm working with NASA: I have a fair amount of experience with space-flight, as I said. That experience comes in the form of an unfortunate joyride I took in my younger days, which ended with my crashing on this planet (I'm no Superman, haha!). Not being designed for this atmosphere, I'm a pretty sickly individual, thus why I complain of not feeling well so much of the time. Living in the land of space-squids and cosmic horrors (to your puny human minds, haha!) you can understand my fascination with H.P. Lovecraft.

But Icarus, (which is about as close as you can come to pronouncing my REAL name, by the way) you may ask, what about your guinea pigs? I live in a lab you dolts...why do you think I go through so many guinea pigs? It's not rocket science (yes it is! LOL).

Anyway, as I said, I love you all, I'll miss you, Live Long and Prosper! (sorry, little joke, couldn't help myself).

So as many of you know, it's been a bit of a difficult time petwise in the Icarus household. My beloved guinea pigs Tater Tot (aged 5 or 6) and Marzipan (who was only almost 3) passed away within a month of each other. My dog then proceeded to break her foot on New Years.

When I last posted I introduced the baby guinea pig Blini. I was concerned about her and said I'd keep y'all updated. Well:

It turns out Blini was just a little shy. She seems to be in good health >knock on wood< and WOW has she grown! When I got her home I kept her quarantined from my other guinea pig, Onigiri, for about a week. Then I introduced them. I was a little worried about whether they'd get along or not, but they're best buddies now! They're playing or snuggling constantly. It's super-adorable.

Poor Calypso (my dog) is healing up, but she still needs to wear a cast for at least three weeks. She doesn't seem to mind...everyone gives her pity food, and she's getting around just fine.

And now here are a bunch of guinea pig pictures! :D

Hey all!

I know it's way early, but the more prep time I have, the cooler a costume I can make! I was wondering who I should cosplay next (for whichever convention I end up attending).

Here are my previous cosplays in chronological order: (Agent "!", the Séance, Calculator, Weather Wizard, Blue Beetle, Fire, Vera/Manchester Black, an Indigo Lantern, H.P. Lovecraft, Animal Man)

As you can see, I've come a long way since Agent "!". I was really happy with how my Animal Man costume turned out.

Anyway, the characters I've been considering have been Rocket Red, Herbert West, the Rainbow Raider, and the Dogwelder. I'm not really super keen on using any of them right now (though if I go to a horror con I'd use HW, and someday I'd like to make a super-epic metal or PVC Rocket Red).

I really, really want to hear your ideas. What would be a good cosplay for me? Carrie Kelly maybe? I really don't know. You certainly don't have to (and I'd actually prefer if you didn't) pick from the cosplays I listed.

Say hi to the newest member of the Icarus family! This is Blini! (A blini is a buckwheat pancake, fun fact of the day).

Blini is cute and soft. She is also the most remarkably calm guinea pig I've ever seen. I accidentally fell asleep with her today. If I had done this with Onigiri she would have been either on my head or in my shirt within about ten seconds.

Yes, it was 4 pm, and I was still in my pajamas. Don't judge me.

I am a little worried about Blini though...she may not be in good health. I've been keeping an eye on her, but sometimes pet stores aren't super reliable about checking guinea pig health before they're sold. If you could send some prayers of health Blini's way, that would be much appreciated. Technically I should probably return her, but I grew irreparably attached about three minutes after I first saw her. So I'm just going to take care of her and hope for the best.

Just in case, she's going to be kept quarantined from Onigiri (my other guinea pig) for about two weeks.

I can't believe I have to write another one of these blogs. Barely a month ago my sweet old guinea pig Tater Tot passed away. This evening I received a phone call from my dad telling me that Marzipan died.

She had been in good health as far as I could tell, she was eating, and she wasn't particularly old. She did, however, have some kind of mutation from the start...her fur type was extremely unusual, and she had partial albinism. We believe that in addition to the visible mutations, Marzipan may have had some kind of heart defect or something similar. Whatever the case, she passed away peacefully, in her sleep.

Marzipan started out as a tiny little fluffball. She didn't know how exactly to eat at first, but Tater Tot taught her about the joys of strawberries and there was no turning back. Marzipan grew up to be big, strong, and the fluffiest fluffball that ever fluffed. She was always ready for a cuddle or a tasty snack. She acted as a nurse to the elderly Tater Tot, and a playmate and mother/sister to baby Onigiri. She loved to blow bubbles in her water bottle, and chew on sweaters when no one was looking.

Good bye Marzipan. You were taken from us much too soon.

I love you, and I miss you. R.I.P.

My acceptance letter came in the mail today!

It's my first-choice of school, so I'm really happy.

I'll be going to a small college in the Midwest. :)

If anyone wanted to know why I've been so busy/not online as much recently, getting all my applications in order/stressing over them was the primary reason.

This is my Sugar Rush OC, Peachy Keenan!

He’s based on Gummy Peaches. Statwise, he’s quite fast, has mediocre maneuverability, but he’s pretty sweet.

Though actually, he’s a huge jerk who thinks he’s a ladies’ man (he also seems to forget that he’s 8, or 10, or something).

And he gets that powdered sugar stuff freaking EVERYWHERE.

Since I’m not a fantastic artist, I’ll just give a quick breakdown of his character design:

Somewhat steampunk/Victorian vest/puffy shirt ensemble in various shades of orange and pink. Buttons are gummy peaches. Pants are brown, maybe corduroy. Shoes are leather and shiny. He has goggles the lenses of which are gummy peaches. His hair is orange with a red streak and little bits of a pink.

His car follows the semi-steampunk theme. It has exhaust pipes (that shoot tons of that annoying sugar stuff EVERYWHERE) and a fairly flimsy carriage, though unlike many Sugar Racers his car has a door. The wheels are, naturally, gummy peaches.

The tree in the picture is made of a Twizzler and some sour gummy straws.

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house…

No, wait, wrong holiday. My bad, let’s start over again.

‘Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and ‘round table long,

Icarusflies had dragged all her alts along

To celebrate with gratuitous food and thanksgiving

The miraculous off chance that they were still living.

And now Icarus tired of rhyme

Because it took up way too much valuable time.

So…

The table stretched off into the distance, and even if she squinted Icarus couldn’t really see the end. It didn’t matter anyway…the far end of the table was where all the lame alts had to sit. They didn’t even get decent dessert; it was probably all year-old fruitcake down there anyway. All the good stuff was up here near Icarus, which is where the characters that mattered were gathered. Now Icarus stood, banging a fork against a Batman tumbler. “ALRIGHT SETTLE DOWN!” The room promptly hushed. “Excellent! Before we begin, it’s time to go around the table and say what we’re all thankful for. Clemy do you want to start us off?” Clementine poked her head out of the turkey. She was dressed as a turkey. Around her were gathered the rest of the Pet Lantern Corps, who were in pilgrim costumes. <<FUD>> chorused the pets, and swarmed off down the table leaving a trail of devastation in their wakes. “Aww, that’s adorable!” Icarus crooned;

“Who’s next? Portrait?” Portrait looked up from her mashed potato sculpture. “Huh, what? Oh, um, I’m thankful for Dorian Gray still burning in Hell.” Icarus was silent. “Yes well…uh…Icarusthat’snotme, what are you thankful for?”

Julius de Flamme stopped toying with the single piece of turkey on his plate. “Julius. It’s Julius. And I’m grateful that you haven’t turned me back into a murderous maniac yet.” Icarus coughed. “Yes, well, that plan fell through and I haven’t had time to come up with anything new yet.” Julius dropped his fork.

“And Fractal! Mr. Sebastian Calamity, what are you thankful for?” Fractal looked at Icarus blankly. “This isn’t what the first Thanksgiving was like, I was there.” Icarus didn’t drop her insane grin. “No you weren’t! You were retconned so you’re not that old, now say what you’re thankful for” Fractal shrugged, and put his elbows on the table. “Randolph Carter I guess, only friend I ever had.” “Fractal, that is a total lie, you have AT LEAST two other friends, and what about your wif---oh, wait, she’s dead. Whoops. Carry on!”

“Mortality!” Mortality stopped sticking peas up his nose. “I’m not even going to ask why you’re doing that Mort. But what are you thankful for?” Mortality sniffed. “Uh…it looks like maybe I’m not stuck in quantum limbo anymore? IDK, maybe I’m just thankful for eggnog.” He sneezed, and peas flew everywhere. “Ew…that’s gross Mort. Ooh, Premonition! What are you thankful for?”

Premonition was just sitting there sullenly. “I SHOULD be eating dinner at the White House, but noooo! I have to be in this dump with a bunch of Looney Tunes. When I rule the world this will all be different…” He started mumbling under his breath. “So Premonition is thankful for being president, that’s fair. Enjoy it while you can Premo….hehehe…Io, what have you go to say?”

Io stopped his siege on Portrait’s mashed potato castle (he was using a pea catapult). “The Wii U. I am thankful for the Wii U, and I will play Mario Kart on it until my arms fall off. Mort, fire the machine gun!” Icarus stared on in disbelief. “That…that explains the peas. And Io, you don’t want to joke about losing your arms.” She winked evilly. “But you’re such an adorable Russian, I’m sure not TOO many horrible things will happen to you this year…maybe…in comparison…uh…enjoy your Wii U Io! Starheart?”

Starheart stuck its head out of the kitchen, where it was in charge of cooking the copious quantities of food. “I am thankful that I have to put up with this outrage for about a century, give or take some” Icarus was silent for a moment. “I’m taking you with me,” she whispered, eyeing the sentient star. “SOLENOID SPIN!”

A mass of turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes stirred. “PUDDING!” it shrieked, then spun around, spattering the spilled food everywhere. “Of course…why did I even ask? Salamander?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m lying dead somewhere, you didn’t even have the decency to let me die on panel” the young lizard-man mumbled. “I guess I’m thankful that I don’t have to put up with your shenanigans anymore.” Icarus laughed, and patted Salamander’s shoulder. “Oh, you’re not dead yet…there’s still much in store for you.” Salamander put his head down on the table. “There is no god….” From further down the table, Ethereal Murk shouted, “THERE’S NOT ANYTHING YOU DUMMY! IT’S ALL MEANINGLESS!”

“Wait your turn Caroline! Ooh, Ultimate Polaroid, you’re next!” The serial killer stopped Instagramming his food. “My only appearances were literally my getting brutally murdered….twice. And that second time you left me being dragged under a city, what could I possibly be thankful for?” he caught Icarus’ glare. “Instagram…I’m thankful for Instagram…” he muttered, cowering. “Good. Meteorite?”

“WWE.” She said, putting Polaroid into an armlock. “YEAH! Go Meteorite!” Icarus cheered. She let _sLeNdErMaN__ do his own thing…no one wanted to mess with Slenderman.

“Zem, we know you’re thankful for everything, and we do NOT want a rendition of the Mattress song. That goes for all of you Zems, I do not want to hear ONE PEEP out of any of you. Or so help me, I will call upon the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Raal to eat you.”

Algernon the Ghoul was gnawing on a turkey. Icarus pet him on the head. “You can’t talk, but I know you’re going to thank me for assuming that your entire race was wiped out in the aftermath of Dream-Quest to Unknown Kadath. You’re welcome Algernon.” The ghoul whimpered. “Um who’s next, who’s next…ooh, Masquerade!”

The young Japanese hero leapt up at the mention of his name. “I am thankful that I got to be included in this magnificent event!” The nearby alts gave each other meaningful glances…the poor hero didn’t realize that it was a poor idea to be happy in front of Icarus. She had terrible, terrible fates planned for them all. “You know it Masque! I WAS going to kill you, but you can stick around a little longer…that RP fell through anyway, and your bros didn’t really want to be the new Masquerade.” The young hero fell to the floor in shock.

“Hansel, you’re not allowed to talk, part of the court ruling…um…oh. Uh…Ubik. What…what do you have to say?”

He smiled, and time slipped between his teeth. “It’s wonderful to be here. I’m thankful for Oracular Inc, and the wonderful opportunities they have provided for me.” Icarus wasn’t listening, she had already run off down the table.

“Where’s MO? Oh…” Icarus lifted up the tablecloth, where Midnight Orchid was hiding. “What are you thankful for MO?” Midnight Orchid hissed. “The rise of the Man Made Gods and the new Clockwork World”. Icarus dropped the tablecloth. “Yeah, okay. Whatever.” She passed by a bunch of alts that had faded into obscurity, and rounded the other side of the table.

Daedalus had vanished from his spot, and was back near the head of the table trying to take Julius’ plate. Icarus didn’t want to deal with him right now, so she moved on to Afterimage, who was pulling on one side of a drumstick. Clementine held the other one, and was growling. “Hey AI! What’re you thankful for?” The guinea pig took a few steps backward, almost yanking the turkey leg away from the speedster. “Food. I’m with the ‘pigs on this one.” Afterimage said, and went back to her tug-of-war. All of a sudden Clementine yanked the drumstick free and rapidly dragged it down the table.

Ultimate Portrait was staring in awe at her normal-universe self (who had sent up tiny painted dragons to protect Mashed Potato Fortress). “Is that me? I’m thankful for that, she’s AWESOME” Ult Portrait said. “I’m glad to hear it, since I think only one of you can live” Icarus said nonchalantly.

“Now then, Ethereal Murk, what are you thankful for?” The girl was staring glumly at her food. “Nothing. The universe is meaningless, and thus there is nothing to be thankful for. I am thankful for that nothing.” Icarus rolled her eyes. “Nihilists SUCK.” She muttered.

DragonflyBoy was noisily demolishing an ear of corn. “Heeeey, DFB!” He looked up, wiping his mandibles. “Uh…why did I have to come all the way here I mean…my parents kinda had dinner all planned out an’ my grandparents had come all the way from the Midwest.” Icarus frowned at him. “Because I said so. Now what are you thankful for?” DragonflyBoy looked around. “My parents. Everyone else’s seem to be dead, why is that? I’m just happy that mine aren’t.” Icarus patted him on the back. “They’re not dead YET DFB, there’s still time.” She walked off whistling.

“Well,” said John G – Icarus put her hand over his mouth. “Hey. You are a secret. People can’t know who you are yet. Keep quiet or you will regret it. Now eat your turkey or something, and don’t let people know you exist. Same goes for the rest of you” Icarus gestured at John’s tablemates. “And you” she pointed to a few others. “Keep it hush-hush.”

“Ah, Herbert West!” Herbert hid a syringe behind his back. “I was not reanimating the turkey. You didn’t see anything” Icarus laughed. “Herbert, Herbert, Herbert…well, what are you thankful for?” Herbert hung his head. “Jeffrey Combs” he whispered. “He is an absolutely perfect person.” Icarus clapped her hands. “And since no one is going to top that, I declare this Thanksgiving…WON! Good job guys, now enjoy this time when no one is trying to kill anyone else to relax a little.”

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, and all ‘round the table

Icarus’ alts sat in mortal terror of their creator who was obviously…wait! It looks like Icarus wasn’t quite done.

“I forgot to say what I was thankful for! Well, I’m thankful for each and every one of you. I love you guys”

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and all ‘round the table

Icarusflies hugged each and every alt that she was able.

This evening, due to nostalgia (perhaps induced by the Silver Key, or visions of childhood brought by a dream) I suddenly desperately wanted edible playdough. This is a wonderful substance my mother would make for me as a child, casting aside all hopes of me eating dinner later. It’s a simple concoction, and I’ll lay out the recipe:

Ingredients:

1. Peanut Butter

2. Powdered Milk

3. Honey

4. Sprinkles, or other decorations.

Method: Mix together a few tablespoons of peanut butter and honey. Add in powdered milk until it’s no longer super sticky. Put down some confectioners sugar or more powdered sugar on your work surface.

MAKE STUFF!

—-

This being accomplished, my cursed fingers brought forth a figure drawn from the crippling nightmares I suffer constantly when the moon is high…dread Cthulhu! My mother and I then proceeded to decide which color of sprinkle was sufficiently eldritch. The sparkly ones. Definitely those. I made a tiny cultist, and Cthulhu was ready to take over the refridgerator.

Except, no, wait, I ate him. Icarusthulhu, devourer of stuff, strikes again!