Everyone's favorite (well, some people's favorite) killer hamster with a santa hat is BACK!
CHAPTER 1: AGENT GRAMBLESHOUT
Santa Hamster had just snuck into a secret Hellicat base. He held his two razor-sharp candy cane blades tightly in his little hands. A drop of sweat went down his forehead, and hit the floor.
The Hellicats were standing guard with their guns in their hands. They were guarding a crate. Whatever was in it was angry. It was thrashing around like the raptor in the opening scene of Jurassic Park. But hamsters don't watch movies, so Santa Hamster didn't get that reference.
With the battle cry of "SQUEAK! SQUEAK! SQUEAK!", Santa Hamster charged into battle with his candy cane blades held high above his head, and suddenly brought them down upon two Hellicats' heads, slashing through their skulls.
He quickly spun around, and with one slice, decapitated two other Hellicats who were sneaking up on him behind his back.
Their plan didn't exactly work.
Two rookies charged at Santa Hamster like idiots. Santa Hamster usually goes easy on the new guys, but these two morons had it coming.
Santa Hamster took out another one with a quick face slice followed by a wing removal.
Don't try this at home kids.
All of the evil, despicable, everything-hating flying cats were down on the floor, and Santa Hamster slowly opened the crate, and out popped out something horrifying... something terrifying... something so HORRIBLE...
Oh, never mind, it was just a human in a fancy tuxedo.
"Who are you?", asked the human, "Are you Santa Claus? No? Well, I'm Grambleshout. Ian Grambleshout. You can call me Agent Grambleshout."
This chump was annoying Santa Hamster.
"I was sent to the North Pole to find and arrest Santa Claus", said the agent, "The FBI or CIA or SHIELD or SWORD or whatever wants him. Why, you ask? He's a fugitive. On the run from the boys in blue 'cuz he did something illegal... he broke into the house of EVERY good little boy and girl (and the naughty ones, too, but he just threw coal at their tree, ate their cookies, and left, so...) in the world!"
NEXT WEEK, ON SANTA HAMSTER:
Santa Hamster must defeat the evil Dr. Evilguy!
Can Rudolph convince the police he's innocent?
Will Jim the gym/local pub/storage place owner recover from his amnesia in time for his wedding?
AND WILL THE EASTER BUNNY GET TO THE WORKSHOP IN TIME FOR UNCLE SAM'S BACHELOR PARTY?
STAY TUNED, TRUE BELIEVERS!