ASPECT: The IRRATIONAL Ant Man Pt. 2

D: So what do you want to talk about today, Ant Man?

A: Well, Doc, I’ve been thinking of starting a new super team.

D: Really? Why’s that?

A: Mainly to get a group discount at the movies.

D: Aren’t super groups more traditionally associated with “helping people” and “doing good?” I mean, what about groups like the Avengers, or the X Men?

A: What world are you living in, Doc? The Avengers are a car pooling group! The Defenders only meet online and the X Men only stay together because they get a bigger disability cheque that way.

D: Disability?

A: Yeah. They have a Canadian on their team..

D: Oh, right.

A: Anyway, you’ve got to have a super group these days. There’s a lot of villains out there, you know? It gets dangerous.

D: How so?

A: They are a violent and strange lot these super villains. All kinds of graphic atrocities can befall a hero out there. Chinese burns. Wet willies. Paper cuts. All kinds of horrible things.

D: So your super group would be to protect each other?

A: More like, give each other a lift to the doctors. Last thing I want to get involved in is a fight, Doc.

D: So, bravery wouldn’t be a part of your groups roster then?

A: Bravery is over rated, Doc. Every dead hero knows that.

D: So would your team have an arch villain?

A: I had an arch villain once.

D: Really? What was his name?

A: Das Boot. He was German, an ex cobbler who created a giant Doc Marten and used to ride it around on a pogo stick all the time trying to squash me. Ant Man is a hard moniker to live with sometimes.

D: So what happened to, The Boot.

A: Last I heard he was working for the government. Developing stealth boots or something like that. We get together once a month for a bowl of sugar.

D: Bowl of sugar?

A: I am an Ant Man, Doc.

D: Oh, right. So what will this super team of yours be called?

A: Well, I was going to call us, The Bastards! You know, try and get some of that lucrative Garth Ennis dollar but it didn’t really fit my image. So then I was going to call us The Metaphysical, Sexually Ambiguous, Camp Existentialists.

D: The Grant Morrison Dollar?

A: Exactly. But in the end I just settled for Ant Mans’ Super Team.

D: Very original.

A: Well, if it hasn’t got an X in the title, it’s not going to last anyway, I figure.

D: That’s a tad pessimistic, don’t you think?

A: Just realistic, Doc. I’m just an ant in a mans’ world.

D: That’s a bit sexist.

A: I’m an Ant Man, Doc. I’m always sexy.

D: Grooooan. You’re an idiot.

A: Well, as my mother always used to say, if you’re going to be an idiot, be the best damned idiot you can be.

D: Mission accomplished then.

A: Thanks, Doc.

D: Pleasure, Ant Man.

PREVIOUS - The IRREPRESIBLE Ant Man #1 - Origins

NEXT - The IRRITATING Ant Man #3 - Religion

6 Comments
6 Comments
Posted by CapFanboy

@feebadger: sweet

Posted by batkevin74

@feebadger: Okay I'm hooked! I imagine Ant Man, at ant size, lying on a couch talking to his shrink.

@feebadger said:

A: What world are you living in, Doc? The Avengers are a car pooling group! The Defenders only meet online and the X Men only stay together because they get a bigger disability cheque that way.

D: Disability?

A: Yeah. They have a Canadian on their team..

A: I had an arch villain once.

D: Really? What was his name?

A: Das Boot. He was German, an ex cobbler who created a giant Doc Marten and used to ride it around on a pogo stick all the time trying to squash me. Ant Man is a hard moniker to live with sometimes.

D: So what happened to, The Boot.

A: Last I heard he was working for the government. Developing stealth boots or something like that. We get together once a month for a bowl of sugar.

Those were my favourite bits! Great work, funny, engaging and really good. Looking forward to the next chapters

Posted by Video_Martian

LULZ

Posted by feebadger

@batkevin74: Thanks man. I'm really glad you're enjoying it. More to come.

Posted by BumpyBoo

Bonus points for using the term "wet willies", which for is funny twice over XD

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Posted by tomdickharry1984

Canadia is a disability? LOL :P