Characters that I Hate and You Should Too
Ta-da!
List items
-
Special mention to Hope, Namor and to a lesser extent, Jean Grey. Want to know why Reverend William Stryker wanted to wipe out mutants? It's not because he's a bigot, it's because he looked 20 years into the future and saw what an unforgivable clusterf*ck of terrible everything surrounding the species would become. You want accurate characterisation, consistent power levels and intelligent stories? Look anywhere, absolutely anywhere outside of the X-Verse. All you'll find here is your favourite characters being desecrated by out of touch writers who wouldn't know a good story if they were born in 1984. Eventually you'll realise that the love you had for these characters is causing you nothing but pain and anguish, and then you'll come to hate them too.
All of them.
-
I hate Barry less for who he is, but more for what he represents; blatant writer bias. You know how some characters serve a purpose? Barry Allen likes to slap those characters in the face then run around for 20 years with zero character development. Barry Allen is your typical Silver Age DC hero, he's a hero, because shut up. Unlike his best friend, Hal Jordan, who experienced some really interesting story arcs that made him less of a hero and more of a dodgy guy that was trying to be a hero (and we liked and empathised with him for it), Barry never slipped up. The stuff regarding Hal was all pre-Geoff Johns of course. But it can be safely assumed that anything good happened before Geoff Johns worked on the title. Barry's just perfect. And in the modern day, when you bring in a perfect, never falters hero to replace a human and superb character like Wally West, then you have earned my ire.
-
Douchebag. Tyrannical, hypocritical douchebag.
Doesn't help that writers don't seem to want him to suffer any consequences for his behaviour outside of maybe an arc or two of introspection. Which usually culminates in a power boost. Yeah, that makes for a good character...
-
Name one thing Norman has done that wasn't utterly pointless since his resurrection? Dark Reign? You mean the ridiculously stupid story where he was given the power of the US and accomplished absolutely nothing? Completely overrated villain who earned his place in history by killing Pete's first and greatest love, but the inability of the readers and Marvel to move on has caused this once fearsome villain to become a pathetic Lex Luthor-wannabe.
-
You serve no purpose. You suck. No one likes you, and if they do, they need to stop. You whine, and you get in the way. You are the Bella Swan of Spider-Man Comics. In fact, Bella actually did something from time to time that didn't involve trying to murder her best friend, so she may actually get points up on Harry.
-
If he was a closeted homosexual (like he should have been) and his rage made sense, then Jason would be a good character.
But sadly, we got Judd Winick writing him, which means no depth, just wangsty bullsh*t about how Bruce didn't love him enough and gratuitous sex and violence BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT COOL CHARACTERS DO. THEY HAVE SEX AND KICK ARSE. Laaaaaaame. Lame. Lame. Lame.
-
Hey, you know what would be fun? Let's make the smartest being on Marvel Earth a five year old! There's no way that won't be incredibly f*cking stupid and insulting to people who have debated for years over Doom vs Reed. Nope, they're both wrong, it's Valeria. Never mind that her expanded intellect makes no sense, it's just a slap in the face to the other great minds of the MU. Now we just have to sit back and read Fantastic Four and wonder why Valeria isn't solving all of their problems.
Gee, great idea, Hickman.
29 Comments