@impurestcheese: Its meant to be like how Frank Miller randomly capitalized words for no apparent reason like in All Star Batman & Robin.
ekrolo's forum posts
All Star Captain America! #1
Chapter 1: FUCK YEAH!
By ekrolo2 (possessed by Frank Millers evil hat)
Writers Note: This is intended to be a parody of All Star Batman & Robin but with Captain America characters instead, sociopathic behavior, out of character moments, randomly highlighted words for no good reason, piss poor writing & storytelling and other tropes of that wondrous mess of a comic will appear here. Enjoy, or despair!
D-day, 1944, Normandy
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled private John Smith, age 20, as he FIRED his Thompson assault RIFFLE at the Nazi forces stationed on the CLIFFS high above shore lines of NORMANDY!
Nazi BUNKERS were strategically POSITIONED all over the cliffs with barbed wire and trenches DUG out to connect them and to provide cover for the NAZI forces hold their ground above.
Gun FIRE was all over the place, with Allied FORCES dropping like FLIES as they had no COVER to protect themselves from the mounter machine GUNS firing on them. Dozens of SOLDIERS were dead before even hitting the SHORES!
Their bodies were MAULED to pieces as the bullets ravaged their BODIES, and the various mines and ROCKETS blew off their LIMBS, leaving the few survivors laying helplessly on the GROUND.
But this was not enough to DETER private John Smith, age 20, from pushing ON! For he was a true PATRIOT! He was born and raised as a true AMERICAN, only buying AMERICAN food, clothes and AMERICAN play boy magazines!
Not that John Smith, age 20, needed them! The mere SIGHT of the red, white and blue was enough for him, and the statue of LIBERTY would now and forever be his one, and ONLY mistress!
"FUCK YOU CROUT MOTHER FFFFFUUUUCCCKKKKEEEEERRRRRSSSS! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
His fun was cut SHORT when his Thompson assault RIFFLE ran out of BULLETS! "Oh shit!" He whispered to himself as he dropped on the GROUND and started reloading his RIFFLE with a gleeful expression on his FACE!
"Oh man! Is this not the best day ever or what Mickey?!"
He patted his FRIENd Mickey on the SHOULDER! The only response he got was a faint "Uhuh" from his childhood FRIEND who coincidentally had both his LEGS blown off and was BLEEDING to death on the ground BELOW!
"You always did have my back MMMIIICCCKKEEEYYYY AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Firing his assault RIFFLE once again at the bunkers ABOVE, John laughed like a man possessed as he fire RANDOMLY at the enemy above, not caring if he actually hit a DAMN thing! Yes, only a true American PATRIOT would face such odds so CASUALLY!
But then a sight in the sky ABOVE made him turn deathly quiet as he dropped his GUN in disbelief and stared at the sight with TEARS of JOY forming in his eyes!
It was none other than Captain AMERICA! The worlds finest SOLDIER dropping down out of a PLANE, using the American FLAG as a parachute!
"American fuck yeah! Gonna save the motherfuckin day yeah! America fuck yeah, gonna save the mother fucking day yeah! AHAHAHA! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
Said the great Captain AMERICA, as he PARACHUTED down to the BATTLEFIELD below with the red, white and blue easing his DESCENT while singing his favorite SONG!
Explosions happened all AROUND him as the Nazi FORCES immediately took NOTICE of the super soldier and feared him more than they loved the FUHRER! But nothing could stand in his WAY, bullets and explosives missed him ENTIRELY with the Nazi forces below SCRAMBLING in terror!
"Just the way I LIKE IT!"
Letting go of his PARACHUTE, Captain AMERICA, dropped in the middle of the BATTLEFIELD with his SHIELD in toe, and a bright shiny smile on his face as the NAZI forces shook in their BRITCHES at the mere SIGHT of him!
"Who wants to go fi-"
Before he could finish, a SNIPER from across the BATTLEFIELD fired at his face, and seemingly blasted a round clear through his SKULL judging by his head tilting BACKWARDS!
"AHAHAH I killed ze Captain AMERICA! The fuhrer will be very plea-"
His jaw DROPPED when Captain AMERICA returned his head to its normal POSITION, revealing he caught the sniper round with his bare TEETH! A smile formed on his face as he looked at the CROUTS before him and inhaled air to spit the round OUT!
Using the power of AMERICA, he fired the round with such STRENGTH and SPEED, it TORE through 50 soldiers, 10 tanks and through the SKULL of the Nazi sniper he originally FIRED it!
The Nazi troopers started shaking UNCONTROLLABLY as their comrades and vehicles either died or EXPLODED or both after this display of power by Captain AMERICA, many of them began to run away as the dropped their RIFLES!
But Captain America simply smirked and once again, tapping into the power of AMERICA threw his should and WATCHED as it not only went through the entire BATTLEFIELD of D-day, but somehow managed to kill or blow up or both, every Nazi SOLDIER, or VEHICLE or BUNKER in the process.
Effectively winning the battle with little to no EFFORT with Captain AMERICA laughing maniacally as he watched the slaughter UNFOLD!
"War is so funny!" He thought to himself before noticing his SHIELD fly back in his DIRECTION!
Catching his SHIELD as it bounced back to him, Captain AMERICA kissed the Vibranium, N'th and Adamantium metal composed OBJECT and looked at his reflection in it.
"The red, white and blue sure does look better with more... me on it. Isn't that right Bucky ol pal ol chum?!"
He placed his arms on his HIPS and watched as his annoyed partner, Bucky Barnes, age 12, landed NEXT to him with a PISTOLS in his hands, and a frown on his face.
"If by better you mean being worn by a borderline sociopath who just laughed at the death and murder of over 50 000 people who he single-handedly, some how, managed to kill the y-"
Captain AMERICA smacked his friend at the back of the HEAD, sending the boy face first into the MUD below as he started LAUGHING at his "joke".
"Oh Bucky, you and your playful antics! The general was right about you kids bringing in your youthful charms to the army!"
Lifting his head out of the mud he scowled at Captain AMERICA!
"I hope you-"
He stepped on Bucky's head, driving it into the MUD once again as he made his WAY to a Nazi survivor! The man had both his arms and LEGS blown off and was choking on his own BLOOD!
"P-please... Help... me!" - German
"Hey friend *he reached out to him* need a... hand?"
A brief SILENCE between the two was followed in SUITE by the German soldier glaring at the smiling Captain AMERICA!
"Kiss my... ass you American ba-"
Before he could finish his SENTENCE, Captain AMERICA bashed his skull in REPEATEDLY as he laughed like a giddy school girl at the SIGHT of it all. Bucky, age 12, watched in TERROR from ground and gulped when Captain AMERICA tilted his head in his DIRECTION!
"Isn't war fun?!"
He stared at Bucky, age 12, without BLINKING to which Bucky, age 12, nodded to in agreement with his heart POUNDING in his EARS!
"I'm going to fucking die aren't I?"
To be CONTINUED in Captain AMERICA #2! Frances goes BOOM!
I was convinced this was going to be the worst of the 3 DC weeklies and Eternal would be the best, but this single FCBD issue grabbed my attention and has me wanting more than any of the 4 mediocre issues of Eternal have thus far.
Counter argument time:
8-Ball: Looks like Diamondback isn't here.
He sighed as he, and his friend override entered the room.
Overrider: I'm sorry man.
He placed his hand on 8-Ball's shoulder to reassure him.
Personally the effect can be the same, sure story format flows better I supposed but I think you can compensate the emotion bit by putting an emphasis on how the characters movie and react between the dialogue bits. I also feel bad story form writers usually just do he said, she said, he yelled, she yelled, over and over and it makes the dialogue feel incredibly one note and/or repetitive.
I don't get this anti-script sentiment here on CV tbh. Especially the complaint it doesn't tell a story, how? They have plots, characters and conflict just like story formats. The only difference is this.
Clenching his fist in anger, Dick scowled at Batman and walked up to him after his "kids have no business doing this" speech.
Dick: How about you see us in action before telling us we have no business doing this?!
"How about you see us in action before telling us we have no business doing this?" He said as he clenched his fist in anger and walked up to Batman.
Seriously, whats the big deal?
Justice League of America Issue 2
“War of the Worlds” Part 2
Written by Bodhi Ouellette
We stand with a message. A message that will mark a new dawn for you Earthlings. We are similar to you. We have the same body structure, and habits. But there are many things where we are different from you all.
Washington D.C. Base:
The Capital of one of the biggest super governments in the world. The center of everything. And the home base of the Justice League of America. In the sky, Superman and Green Lantern are carrying the two green Giants over from Los Angeles.
In an airfield, a pack of soldiers, captains, and two of the Justice League members Adam Strange, Blue Beetle, and the Atom stand, waiting for the two heroes to drop off the two giants. As they get closer to them, Superman and Green Lantern slowly, and safely place the two giants down on the ground.
Superman: We found these two big guys in Los Angeles. We want you to evaluate them.
Atom: Then you’ve called the right people to do the job!
Green Lantern: That was a bit too enthusiastic.
Adam Strange: We’ll need to bring them into the base. Lantern.
Green Lantern: Oh, no way! My arm is about to literally fall off from carrying that fat sack hundreds of miles over here! Sups, you deal with--
But Superman has already lifted off from the ground and was heading off into the sky.
Green Lantern: -- it. Son of a bitch...
Adam Strange: Well… we’re waiting.
Green Lantern: *Sigh*
No matter what he could do, nothing could bring Superman out of the state that he was going through. The events that have left him shocked over what he has done has made the Man of Steel guilty, and emotionally weak. It was the day he never thought would come. The day they came. The day he had to do the unthinkable. And he was guilty for all of it…
We hid from our own habitat because we were afraid. Afraid that if someone came to our planet to kill us, we would be wiped from the face of the land again. And we hid. We hid from fear. But we grew. And we have no more fear. All we have is hope.
A city that was plagued with myths of its existences, now proudly standing as existing, and as real as the myths claim it to be.
In the palace, King Arthur, also known as Aquaman, and many Atlantian warriors get their weapons and gear ready to travel somewhere. Aquaman stands beyond the rest of his people, and besides him are his warriors and Mera, his wife.
Arthur: Good day to you all, my people! I have called for this assembly for you all so I can inform you that your king will now be heading off to Themyscira, with my best warriors, to prepare and train in a new annual competition between our two societies! All Atlanteans are free to join the event once it begins! Under my absences, I have placed my wife as ruler of Atlantis!
The crowd cried even louder for their Queen.
Atlanteans: All hail Queen Mera!
Arthur: Until then, I bid you all farewell!
Aquaman and his dozen Warriors approach what looks to be a teleporter; a circular device, decorated in golden Atlantean architecture, with a blue swirling pool of water circling around. An Atlantean scientist stands aside from the teleporter, in front of a control pad. He presses a few buttons and turns a knob over. Suddenly, the pool begins to swirl faster and faster, where even the color changes from a seawater blue, to chalk white. The swirl eventually stops, revealing the identities of Diana of Themyscira, and Hera on the other side. Aquaman and the warriors walk through this portal.
Standing patiently for the arrival of one of their most loyal allies is Hippolyta, queen of Themyscira, and her daughter, Princess Diana. But to her allies, and to the humans, she is known as Wonder Woman. Aquaman and his warriors all enter out of the portal, greeted by the Queen and Princess, as well as other Amazonians.
Arthur: (Kneels down) Good day to you, Queen Hippolyta. And to you to, Princess Diana.
Diana: And to you to, King Arthur.
Hippolyta: Our tournament begins tomorrow. I hope your best warriors are prepared for such an event.
Arthur: I would not of come here as a competitor if I did not find my warriors to come with me.
Hippolyta: Excellent. The colosseum is open for your men to train and practice in.
Arthur: Thank you.
His guards leave the scene, heading for the colosseum.
Diana: We will be having a dinner celebration tonight. We would like you to come, if nothing comes up, that is.
Arthur: I should be saying the same for you as well. I will be at the dinner, tonight. Don’t worry.
Washington D.C. Base:
Inside of a garage of the base, the two Green giants are laid down on the ground, being evaluated my multiple scientists, including Adam Strange and Blue Beetle. Adam Strange is evaluating monitor charts of the beasts, while Blue Beetle is studying the beasts physical forms, and writing down statements on a clipboard.
Blue Beetle: How’s it in there, Ray?
Atom came out from an open wound they had made, and soon grows back to his original size, standing on the titan.
Atom: Evaluating this guy was a pain. His arteries was full of cholesterol!
Blue Beetle: I never knew you had a sense of humor. Usually I’m the one making the jokes.
Atom: I wasn’t joking. I was complaining. Besides the point, I have found some, very interesting stuff about this thing.
The Atom and Blue Beetle begin to walk over towards Adam Strange.
Atom: Overall, it’s body structure and blood is human. The size and DNA that I collected, and evaluated will tell us what this thing really is.
Adam Strange: (turns to see Blue and Atom) You have the data samples?
Atom: As promised. (He hands him the DNA sample)
Adam then inserts the DNA plate into the computers. It begins analyzing the sample given. It finishes, and displays certain numbers, fractions, and percentages.
Adam Strange: Hm. Interesting. These guys have some human DNA in them, but then theres some data I can’t identify. Let me trace where the origins of the samples came from.
Blue Beetle: It can do that?
Adam Strange: I built this computer with Rannian tech. Of course It can. Scanning…
The computer traces the DNA back to a picture of the planet Mars.
Adam Strange: Mars?
Blue Beetle: So this means they’re martians?
Atom: Implausible. They have strands of human DNA. Hybrid, maybe?
Adam Strange: Maybe. Let’s trace the origin of the human DNA.
Atom gives Adam the blood samples, and he enters it into the computer. It scans again, then revealing the origins coming from Seattle, Washington.
Blue Beetle: Seattle?
Atom: Yep. Definitely a hybrid.
Adam Strange: Maybe not. We’d have to evaluate this more to see what these guys really are...
And this is our hope. We have learned to be superior in all ways possible. And now you stand against our way to become superior. We will defeat you. We will end you. We will become superior. And you won’t stand in our way. Because we are that Hope…
To be continued in Justice League of America Issue 3!
By Ivan Krolo and RoninReviews
First Contact Part 1
Clarks finger tips smacked the keys on the typewriter as he stamped in letter after letter as fast as the keys could go. He sat on the roof top of his apartment building with the type writer on his lap, watching over the city as the suns rays glint off the sides of the crystal towers known as sky scrapers.
Clark (thoughts): This is probably the second most beautiful place I've seen in my life well.. besides the Fortress of course.
Metropolis is one of the most advanced cities on Earth with the highest building and lowest crime rate, but a new level of criminal rope up and took it upon itself to master the un breakable golden city of tomorrow, today. Clark filled in the keys of the typewriter and in a swift whirl he pulled out the paper and slapped it on a meter high pile behind him.
Clark hoped over the ledge and looked at his work. He cracked his knuckles and started to put the paper in boxes when he heard the sound of high heels on the creaky floor boards of the fire escape leading to the roof of the apartment block causing him to freeze in fear.
He looked over all the paper on the ground next to him. Files, maps, notes fact files on Metropolis. information on everyone and everything in the city he gathered with his supervision and x-ray vision. Painted finger nails grasped the door knob and turned the old cooper. Clark spun around and did the first thing that came to mind. He used his super breath to blow all the files off the roof top and helplessly watched as his hard work was seemingly lost to the wind.
Lois (happy): Smallville!
She looked over to see Clark sitting on the ledge tapping away at the type writer the last of the paper disappearing from view. Clark jumped when she called his name and turned around to see her marching towards him.
Clark (Shy stutter): M-miss Lane... umm.... wha-what are you doing here?
Lois (Fast talking, no-nonsense): You're uh (checks Phone) Clark, Kent right?
Clark (Stammers): Yes... we uh me yesterday at the Planet. How did you know I'd be out here?
Lois (Squints at him): Your really an out of towner huh? Anyway the Chief has asked me to take you out for lunch. We've been ordered to cover the strange murder cases along the East Coast and he wants us to get along.
Clark (Awkwardly): Well if you want to make your way down I'll meet you right the-
Lois (Curious): Typewriter huh? I like the way you think Smallville. What are you writing?
Clark (Slightly embarrassed): This, well this is just a little projec-
Lois grabbed the paper from the typewriter and skim read it.
Lois (Rude): Is this poetry? Its crap. (She dropped it.)
A boy on his bike rolled along the sidewalk. He looked up to saw the thousands of pieces of paper slowly drift to the ground with a look of awe drawing across his face.
Clark (Awkwardly): Its... yeah. Its poetry. It sucks.
Lois (Sternly): Get presentable because we're taking a cab. I'll meet you outside the building.
Clark (Stutter): Y-yes Miss. L-lane.
Lois turned to leave, the paper were near the street with more and more people starting to look upwards towards the files. The second Lois left, Clark leapt off of the roof and flew down. His face crushing the atoms of the wind as he traveled faster than the speed of sound. Grabbing the papers faster than anyone could see him, he gathered them back on the roof and fell to his knees panting heavily.
Just as he managed to catch his breath he heard Lois coming back up the stairs. Realizing what he had to do, Clark blew the papers off the rooftop yet again and suppressed the anger boiling inside of him.
Lois (demanding): Don't forget to bring your type writer! Its cute!
She slammed the door behind her leaving a very angry Clark just sitting there with his left eye twitching in frustration.
Clark (suppressed anger): Of course Miss Lane.... What ever you say....
Fiona Hale peered over the top of her Daily Planet news paper. A tall young man in a suit with dark hair and thick glasses, fumbled with his briefcase trying to close it. Fiona leaned across the aisle and clicked the latch shut. The young man looked up at Fiona with a surprised expression on his face.
Young Man (Shy, stutters): Oh.. um thanks.
Fiona (Friendly): Don't worry about it kid. Everyone needs a helping hand once in a while.
Young Man (Clumsily): Heh.I.. I guess...
Fiona smiled at him and then went back to her paper. The subway jolted backwards as the train stopped. The doors opened, and people flooded in from the small carriage out into the crowded tunnel.
Fiona brushed her teeth in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror. She spat out the last of the tooth paste, put her hair in a pony tail, put on her Metropolis police hat on her head and exited the bathroom into the bustling police department. Desk monkeys rushed around handing files from one place to another. She saw her boss, commissioner David Corporon walking through the rows of desks being followed by people handing him files.
Fiona (Formally): Mr. Corporon, sir?
Corporon (Friendly, loud): Ah! Mrs. Hale. So nice to finally make your acquaintance. You've come in
from Pennsylvania right?
Fiona (respectful): Its Miss Hale sir.
Corporon (Sincere): Ah sorry. (Friendly) I'm sure you're eager to start the day, your partners waiting for you outside. He's kind of an old vet around here so take care of him and don't let his bad attitude throw you off. He's a nice guy once you get to know him a little better.
Fiona (Proud): Thank you very much sir. It's an honour working with you.
Corporon (Playfully): Enough bootlicking Miss. Hale. Get out there and make your momma proud.
Fiona (Smirks, salutes): Sir.
The thick layer of glass inside the necklace picture frame acted as a window for happier times for George Brooke. His dark soft fingers gently cradled the frame of the necklace containing a picture is of his wedding day with his wife Janice. He smiled at the picture, but the moment didn't last long because Fiona approached him from behind with two cups of coffee in her hands.
Fiona (Friendly): So Mr. Brooke. I heard you'd be an old vet but I didn't expect-
Brooke (Friendly): Just hand over the coffee before you hurt my feelings anymore Miss. Hale. So I get someone from Penny this time huh. Never had fresh meat from up north before.
Fiona (Firmly): Well this is only temporary Brooke. I'll get moved up to detective before long and then I'll be my own boss.
Brooke (Friendly, slightly annoyed): Sorry to rain on your parade Hale, but I've tried to get moved up to Detective for 30 years.
Fiona (firm): I was a Det. up in Penny. I know my way around a crime scene old boy.
Brooke (Jokes): What? You think yer gonna stumble across the mystery of the decade on your first day or something?
Fiona (Snaps): Hurry up and finish your coffee so we can hit the streets.
Brooke (Laughs): Nope. Gonna take my time with this kid. Haven't had someone bring me coffee in 10 years, gonna enjoy myself.
Fiona (sarcastic): So much for first impressions.
Clark and Lois sat silently in one of the fanciest restaurants in the city, Eleven Madison Park as they tried to decide what to order. Lois seemed relaxed while Clark on the other hand was the exact opposite.
Clark (thoughts & worried): These prices are insane! How am I ever going to pay for any of this stuff?
Lois (casual): Relax Smallville, breakfast is one me so you can stop worrying about how you're gonna pay.
Waiter (formal & curious): May I take your orders?
Clark (hesitant):... I'll have a stake.
Waiter (smiling & formal): Excellent choice sir! (Curious): and you madam?
Lois (casual): The same.
The waiter nodded and left to tell the chef of their orders.
Lois (curious): So Smallville, tell me what made a farm boy like you decide to come here in Metropolis?
Clark (friendly): I guess it's because I've always wanted to live in the big city. Sure the open fields of Kansas are great and all but there's just something irresistible I find about cities like Metropolis. Well except Gotham, I hope I never set foot in that place.
Lois (casual): Oh believe me its much worse than you could imagine. Although I have to admit Bruce Wayne was pretty cute when I interviewed him. (Curious): Anyway, what made you decide to take this job? With your credentials you could have done anything you wanted.
Clark (friendly): Same reason I decided to come live here. I wanna see the world, meet all sorts of people and hopefully do some good with this job. (Serious): Media, one of the most powerful things in the world focuses on so many pointless things these days like celebrity gossip, political agendas and video games that the real news gets completely side lined. And when some real news comes around they just twist it around or blatantly make stuff up just for the sake of causing controversy. I want to change that and make news about the cold, hard facts again.
Lois (impressed): You know when I first saw you I thought you were just some shy little push over. But it looks like there's more to you than meets the eyes.
Clark (thoughts): Oh you have no idea...
Just as their meals arrived Clark heard police sirens in the distance and a dispatcher say..
Radio: All units please respond to an armed robbery of the Central Bank of Metropolis. The 4 Suspects are driving a black Mercedes armed with 2 M16 rifles and shotguns.
Clark (thoughts): I guess its time to make my move, but... (worried): Lois is gonna kill me if I leave now..
Clark (nervous): Would you please excuse me, I just have to use the bathroom for a second.
Before Lois could object he practically ran into the bathroom and hurried to intercept the robbers before they could get away.
Fiona and Brooke were in hot pursuit of the bank robbers with several other police cars right behind them. Brooke, who was behind the wheel, tried to get closer, but each time one of the robbers fired his rifle at them.
Brooke (annoyed): Son of a... At this rate we wont catch these guys. (Joking): At least you get to tell me I told you so.
Fiona (serious): In times like these sir I wish I wasn't.
The black Mercedes turned around a corner and managed to escape temporarily evade the police officers. Brooke gritted his teeth and sped up.
Brooke (determined): Oh no you don't!
He quickly turned around the corner and was expecting to see the criminals still driving away but what ended up happening defied all logic.
Brooke and Fiona (shocked): What the....
The pair saw a tall man standing at 6“3 with short black hair dressed in a mostly ocean blue suit resembling armor out of a sci-fi film with a pair of red boots and gauntlets on his arms and feet along with a red belt. His chest adorned with a large red emblem with a S inside of it and a yellow background. He had a long, red cape with the same emblem on it attached to his shoulders with the base of it just bellow his knees.
But it was not his peculiar clothing which caught their attention. It was the fact he was lifting the black Mercedes above his head with one arm as if it were nothing but a toy. The four robbers opened the doors and fell to the ground clenching grunting in pain. They quickly got back on their feet, took aim and fired at the man, but the bullets simply fractured upon impact and fell to the ground.
Brooke and Fiona were the first to arrive on the scene and just as they were about to exit their car the man in the blue suit smirked and let go of the car. Before the vehicle even hit the ground, he not only disarmed the four robbers but tied them together with a bent street light.
Fiona and Brook (dumbfounded): What in the....
They simply stared at the struggling robbers who were begging for some one to set them free.
???? (friendly): Excuse me.
Fiona and Brook took a step back and noticed the man responsible for stopping the robbers was now standing in front of them with two large bags of money in his hands and a friendly smile on his face.
???? (friendly): I believe this money belongs to the Central Bank of Metropolis. (He extended his arms and let Brooke take the bags). Now if you'll both excuse me, I have somewhere to be.
He turned around and started to walk away, but Brooke spoke up.
Brooke (curious): Before you go... Would you mind telling me just who you are son?
???? (friendly & smiling): Me? You can call me Superman.
He turned around and jumped dozens of feet in the air leaping over entire buildings and sky scrapers in a single bound making the police officers just more shocked and confused in the process.
Lois sat alone at the table taping her finger on it with an annoyed look on her face.
Lois (thoughts & annoyed): What is he doing in there? Performing surgery or something?! I swear if he doesn't show up in the next 5 minutes I'm gonna-
Clark (friendly): I'm back!
He sat at the table and took a fork and knife to begin eating.
Lois (annoyed): And just what took you so long?!
Clark (embarrassed): Well you see I've been having some serious stomach problems and-
Lois (disgusted): Okay, okay you've said enough! It's just a shame I had to waste so much money on a good-looking stake like that only for it to get cold.
Clark sheepishly smiled to which Lois just grunted and continued eating her meal. He looked at the delicious stake in front of him, and a thought crossed his mind.
Clark (thoughts): It might be risky but... No sense in letting a perfectly good free stake go to waste.
He looked around to check if anyone was watching and promptly focused the solar energy in his eyes he heated it up ever so subtly and began chowing down on it.
To be continued in #2 in three weeks! Stay tuned!
Lieutenant James Gordon and Sergeant Harvey Bullock sat silently in his car as they observed the entrance to a liquor store on the opposite end of the street. They were waiting for Saul Falcone, nephew of the infamous Carmine Falcone to come out and hopefully lead him to a warehouse where a rumored shipment of weaponry was due to arrive that very same night. Bullock sighed and pulled his lighter and a cigar which he intended to light until Jim reached out towards his face and plucked it out of his mouth.
Bullock (whisper & annoyed): Hey! What’s the big idea?!
Jim (whisper): Are you crazy? Were trying to keep a low profile here, and you wanna light a cigar? The point of tailing some one is to make sure he doesn’t notice you following him.
He gave the cigar back to Harvey who promptly placed it into his pocket for later.
Bullock (whisper & annoyed): Geez sorry for making an honest mistake, it's just that we’ve been sitting here, in the dark, for an hour now, and this bozo still ain’t come out, (curious) you even sure he’s in there?
Jim (whisper & calm): Positive, according to my sources he goes here every Wednesday to play some poker with a few buddies of his, after a couple of hours he leaves then goes on to do a job for his uncle like the good dog that he is.
Bullock (whisper & calm): I hope your “sources” are right Jimbo cause id hate to spend my one night off staring at a cheap ass liquor store, what’s so special about this shipment anyhow?
Jim (whisper & calm): Apparently this isn’t just a regular shipment of guns and ammunition, word on the street is that Falcone ordered a batch of something called “Venom” from a small island country known as Santa Prisca. This drug is rumored give the person taking it inhuman speed, strength and endurance and Falcone wants it so his boy can take out the Batman. If we can get our hands on some evidence like a photo of Carl getting it or a sample we can get it to
Dent and hopefully start locking these sons of bitches up.
Bullock (whisper & pleased): Falcone is probably losing it if he’s ordering some fancy, schmancy drug to fight a psycho in a bat costume.
Jim (whisper & calm): Ironically that “psycho” is getting more done than the entire police force in this whole city. I swear it feels like every cop in this town is either crooked or too much of a coward to do anything about well… anything, hell you’re the only guy I could convince to help me out on this.
Bullock (whisper & pleased): Well Jimbo you did save my ass in that gun fight a few weeks back so I owe ya one.
Their conversation ended when Carl Falcone finally exited the liquor store, got into his car and drove off to the shipment site, Gordon turned on his car, and the two followed him through the desolate streets of Gotham.
The drive was a short and uneventful one; Carl seemed oblivious to their presence and drove normally towards the Gotham Docks, a large dilapidated series of ware houses that were barely standing much like the rest of Gotham.
Carl Falcone continued to drive down the dock passing several seemingly abandoned ware houses until he finally stopped and parked his car next to one at the very end of the docks. Jim and Bullock parked about 40 feet away from it, got out of the car and slowly moved in closer to find a possible entry point.
Darkness shrouded most of the docks but, the warehouse where the shipment arrived was lit up like a Christmas tree, illuminating the surrounding area and giving the two officers a chance to see what they were up against. The place had at least a dozen guards armed with M-16 assault rifles protecting it.
Bullock (whisper): Yo Jimbo, look over there.
He tapped on Jim's shoulder and pointed towards a series of metal containers and crates lined up next to the side of the ware house.
Bullock (whisper): You see those crates? If we can sneak past those bozos we might have a shot of getting on the roof and hopefully getting a nice bird’s eye view of the place.
Jim (whisper): It could work, but we won’t be able to sneak past those guards, were gonna have to lure them away if this is gonna work.
Bullock (whisper & cocky): Shouldn’t be a problem, they’re cut off from the others so if we can take out silently the others probably won’t notice.
Jim (whisper): Alright then, ill go draw their attention, you try to get behind them and were gonna take them all out at once.
Jim slowly walked up to the warehouse, the shadows that protected him gave away to the light illuminating from the building and with it revealed his position to the guards.
Guard (angry & suspicious): You there! (He pointed his gun at, Jim and walked up to him slowly with his two friends guarding his back). What the hell do you think you’re doing here?
Jim (annoyed): Geez can’t a guy just take a nice stroll without some asshole punks pointing their guns at him in this town?
The three guards were now standing only a few feet away from Jim, the one who called out to him was the closest while the other two stayed farther away.
Guard (mad): Say that again?
Jim (mad): You heard me you little asshole, now how about you take that gun and shove it where the sun don’t shine.
The guard snarled at Jim and moved in closer placing the barrel of his gun a few inches away from his face, at that moment Jim noticed Bullock was now standing in between the other two with a rock in his hand hovering over one of them.
He took a quick glance at Jim who nodded his head and without a moment's hesitation brought the rock down on the guards head, knocking him out, his partner managed to see him go down but not fast enough to stop Bullock from pouncing on him and punching him across the face. The last guard turned around and saw his partners unconscious with an angry Bullock standing before him.
Guard (angry): You son of a bitch I'm gon-
Jim (cold): You won’t be doing anything for a while.
Jim placed both his arms around the man's neck and caught him in a headlock, he tried to escape but it was no use, the pressure applied from the headlock caused him to quickly lose consciousness and fall to, the ground.
Bullock (pleased): That went well.
Jim (calm): Were not out of the woods yet, let's get these guys somewhere where their pals wont find them and take their guns, if we get spotted were gonna need them.
Bullock nodded, and the two carried the three guards away from the warehouse and placed them in a nearby dumpster, the two officers put the assault rifles over their shoulders and proceeded to climb the warehouse until they reached a small window at its top.
The two looked through the window and saw a massive operation going on inside with dozens of crates of Venom and even more people running around placing the stuff inside large 18 wheeler trucks with Carl Falcone personally managing the entire thing. Jim opened the window and took his camera out.
Carl Falcone (yelling): Come on, hurry up will ya! The boss wants this stuff moved as fast as far away from here as humanly possible and I swear to God if the Bat gets here before that can happen because of you incompetent little shits ill make your lives a living hell so MOVE YOUR ASSES!!!
Jim (whisper & sarcastic): Charming.
He filmed the entire operation as it went down, from Falcone screaming his lugs out at his men, to close up footage of the Venom itself as well as the trucks from Ace Chemicals being used to distribute it. After about 15 minutes of filming Jim finally stopped and placed it back in his pocket.
Jim (whisper & pleased): We got him; we finally got one of these sons of bitches.
Bullock (whisper & anxious): Yeah, yeah save the celebration for later, now we gotta-
Several loud screams were heard coming from inside the building, the two turned their attention to what was going on and they saw several, men on the ground with large, crude bat shaped shuriken embedded into their limbs and backs. Jim immediately pulled out his camera and started filming the ordeal.
Carl Falcone (angry & yelling): You think you're some badass don’t ya Batman? How about you stop being such a pussy and show yourself already?!
The only response Carl received was batarang that clashed his hand causing him to drop his gun, he clenched his bleeding hand and looked around frantically and noticed his men were dropping like flies.
As Jim watched the ordeal go down, he realized this could not be Batman. He had seen pieces of the Batman’s equipment before, those shuriken were black and perfectly crafted, but these were crude and silver. He also saw several figures attacking those men from the shadows all at once all of whom wore crude make shift Batman costumes.
He tried to run out of the warehouse ignoring his injured men who were lying on the floor, but he found himself unable to when, one of the Batmen pounced on him and started punching him repeatedly with brass knuckles. This went on for only a few seconds but for Falcone it seemed like an eternity as each punch felt like it was going to crack his skull.
???? (Yelling & commanding): That’s enough J! We don’t kill remember?
J (annoyed): Yeah…. I remember…..
He climbed off Carl and meet up with the rest of his team in the center of the ware house. Upon seeing those in a bright light Jim's eyes widened as he realized these were nothing more than teenager boys or young adults posing as the infamous vigilante. He continued to film until he heard turned his head to the right and noticed Harvey was gone.
Jim (afraid & whisper): Harvey?! Where are you?
???? (Cold & whisper): Don’t worry; you’ll be seeing him real soon.
Jim spun around and caught a glimpse of one of the boys posing as Batman before the kicked him across the face, knocking him out cold.
To be continued in Batman #2 in three weeks! So stay tuned!