@j_hickmanisgod: If you name a story called Death of the Family then you better do something that'll kill the family or just name it something else. Not that I cared much because I think the story is great anyway but plenty of people expected an actual death of the Bat family where Joker offs some one to break them apart for a long while which didn't happen.
ekrolo's forum posts
@j_hickmanisgod: Problem is that a story called Death of the Family would've had larger implications like Alfred dying, but all that was hurt was their trust in Batman which really didn't do anything in the end. An issue made even worse by Morrison killing Damian mere weeks after DOTF ended.
Now I love DOTF, its one my favorite Joker stories but it really should've been called something like Jokers Five Way Revenge (I know that's the name of a different story, just trying to prove a point).
I would've voted for Begins too as its my favorite origin for Batman with Snyder's Zero Year a close second, I'm surprised Rises got as much since it effectively got the Return of the Jedi treatment from people from release and still does to this day.
All Star Captain America! #1
Chapter 1: FUCK YEAH!
By ekrolo2 (possessed by Frank Millers evil hat)
Writers Note: This is intended to be a parody of All Star Batman & Robin but with Captain America characters instead, sociopathic behavior, out of character moments, randomly highlighted words for no good reason, piss poor writing & storytelling and other tropes of that wondrous mess of a comic will appear here. Enjoy, or despair!
D-day, 1944, Normandy
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled private John Smith, age 20, as he FIRED his Thompson assault RIFFLE at the Nazi forces stationed on the CLIFFS high above shore lines of NORMANDY!
Nazi BUNKERS were strategically POSITIONED all over the cliffs with barbed wire and trenches DUG out to connect them and to provide cover for the NAZI forces hold their ground above.
Gun FIRE was all over the place, with Allied FORCES dropping like FLIES as they had no COVER to protect themselves from the mounter machine GUNS firing on them. Dozens of SOLDIERS were dead before even hitting the SHORES!
Their bodies were MAULED to pieces as the bullets ravaged their BODIES, and the various mines and ROCKETS blew off their LIMBS, leaving the few survivors laying helplessly on the GROUND.
But this was not enough to DETER private John Smith, age 20, from pushing ON! For he was a true PATRIOT! He was born and raised as a true AMERICAN, only buying AMERICAN food, clothes and AMERICAN play boy magazines!
Not that John Smith, age 20, needed them! The mere SIGHT of the red, white and blue was enough for him, and the statue of LIBERTY would now and forever be his one, and ONLY mistress!
"FUCK YOU CROUT MOTHER FFFFFUUUUCCCKKKKEEEEERRRRRSSSS! AHAHAHAHAHA!"
His fun was cut SHORT when his Thompson assault RIFFLE ran out of BULLETS! "Oh shit!" He whispered to himself as he dropped on the GROUND and started reloading his RIFFLE with a gleeful expression on his FACE!
"Oh man! Is this not the best day ever or what Mickey?!"
He patted his FRIENd Mickey on the SHOULDER! The only response he got was a faint "Uhuh" from his childhood FRIEND who coincidentally had both his LEGS blown off and was BLEEDING to death on the ground BELOW!
"You always did have my back MMMIIICCCKKEEEYYYY AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Firing his assault RIFFLE once again at the bunkers ABOVE, John laughed like a man possessed as he fire RANDOMLY at the enemy above, not caring if he actually hit a DAMN thing! Yes, only a true American PATRIOT would face such odds so CASUALLY!
But then a sight in the sky ABOVE made him turn deathly quiet as he dropped his GUN in disbelief and stared at the sight with TEARS of JOY forming in his eyes!
It was none other than Captain AMERICA! The worlds finest SOLDIER dropping down out of a PLANE, using the American FLAG as a parachute!
"American fuck yeah! Gonna save the motherfuckin day yeah! America fuck yeah, gonna save the mother fucking day yeah! AHAHAHA! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
Said the great Captain AMERICA, as he PARACHUTED down to the BATTLEFIELD below with the red, white and blue easing his DESCENT while singing his favorite SONG!
Explosions happened all AROUND him as the Nazi FORCES immediately took NOTICE of the super soldier and feared him more than they loved the FUHRER! But nothing could stand in his WAY, bullets and explosives missed him ENTIRELY with the Nazi forces below SCRAMBLING in terror!
"Just the way I LIKE IT!"
Letting go of his PARACHUTE, Captain AMERICA, dropped in the middle of the BATTLEFIELD with his SHIELD in toe, and a bright shiny smile on his face as the NAZI forces shook in their BRITCHES at the mere SIGHT of him!
"Who wants to go fi-"
Before he could finish, a SNIPER from across the BATTLEFIELD fired at his face, and seemingly blasted a round clear through his SKULL judging by his head tilting BACKWARDS!
"AHAHAH I killed ze Captain AMERICA! The fuhrer will be very plea-"
His jaw DROPPED when Captain AMERICA returned his head to its normal POSITION, revealing he caught the sniper round with his bare TEETH! A smile formed on his face as he looked at the CROUTS before him and inhaled air to spit the round OUT!
Using the power of AMERICA, he fired the round with such STRENGTH and SPEED, it TORE through 50 soldiers, 10 tanks and through the SKULL of the Nazi sniper he originally FIRED it!
The Nazi troopers started shaking UNCONTROLLABLY as their comrades and vehicles either died or EXPLODED or both after this display of power by Captain AMERICA, many of them began to run away as the dropped their RIFLES!
But Captain America simply smirked and once again, tapping into the power of AMERICA threw his should and WATCHED as it not only went through the entire BATTLEFIELD of D-day, but somehow managed to kill or blow up or both, every Nazi SOLDIER, or VEHICLE or BUNKER in the process.
Effectively winning the battle with little to no EFFORT with Captain AMERICA laughing maniacally as he watched the slaughter UNFOLD!
"War is so funny!" He thought to himself before noticing his SHIELD fly back in his DIRECTION!
Catching his SHIELD as it bounced back to him, Captain AMERICA kissed the Vibranium, N'th and Adamantium metal composed OBJECT and looked at his reflection in it.
"The red, white and blue sure does look better with more... me on it. Isn't that right Bucky ol pal ol chum?!"
He placed his arms on his HIPS and watched as his annoyed partner, Bucky Barnes, age 12, landed NEXT to him with a PISTOLS in his hands, and a frown on his face.
"If by better you mean being worn by a borderline sociopath who just laughed at the death and murder of over 50 000 people who he single-handedly, some how, managed to kill the y-"
Captain AMERICA smacked his friend at the back of the HEAD, sending the boy face first into the MUD below as he started LAUGHING at his "joke".
"Oh Bucky, you and your playful antics! The general was right about you kids bringing in your youthful charms to the army!"
Lifting his head out of the mud he scowled at Captain AMERICA!
"I hope you-"
He stepped on Bucky's head, driving it into the MUD once again as he made his WAY to a Nazi survivor! The man had both his arms and LEGS blown off and was choking on his own BLOOD!
"P-please... Help... me!" - German
"Hey friend *he reached out to him* need a... hand?"
A brief SILENCE between the two was followed in SUITE by the German soldier glaring at the smiling Captain AMERICA!
"Kiss my... ass you American ba-"
Before he could finish his SENTENCE, Captain AMERICA bashed his skull in REPEATEDLY as he laughed like a giddy school girl at the SIGHT of it all. Bucky, age 12, watched in TERROR from ground and gulped when Captain AMERICA tilted his head in his DIRECTION!
"Isn't war fun?!"
He stared at Bucky, age 12, without BLINKING to which Bucky, age 12, nodded to in agreement with his heart POUNDING in his EARS!
"I'm going to fucking die aren't I?"
To be CONTINUED in Captain AMERICA #2! Frances goes BOOM!
I was convinced this was going to be the worst of the 3 DC weeklies and Eternal would be the best, but this single FCBD issue grabbed my attention and has me wanting more than any of the 4 mediocre issues of Eternal have thus far.
Counter argument time:
8-Ball: Looks like Diamondback isn't here.
He sighed as he, and his friend override entered the room.
Overrider: I'm sorry man.
He placed his hand on 8-Ball's shoulder to reassure him.
Personally the effect can be the same, sure story format flows better I supposed but I think you can compensate the emotion bit by putting an emphasis on how the characters movie and react between the dialogue bits. I also feel bad story form writers usually just do he said, she said, he yelled, she yelled, over and over and it makes the dialogue feel incredibly one note and/or repetitive.
I don't get this anti-script sentiment here on CV tbh. Especially the complaint it doesn't tell a story, how? They have plots, characters and conflict just like story formats. The only difference is this.
Clenching his fist in anger, Dick scowled at Batman and walked up to him after his "kids have no business doing this" speech.
Dick: How about you see us in action before telling us we have no business doing this?!
"How about you see us in action before telling us we have no business doing this?" He said as he clenched his fist in anger and walked up to Batman.
Seriously, whats the big deal?
Justice League of America Issue 2
“War of the Worlds” Part 2
Written by Bodhi Ouellette
We stand with a message. A message that will mark a new dawn for you Earthlings. We are similar to you. We have the same body structure, and habits. But there are many things where we are different from you all.
Washington D.C. Base:
The Capital of one of the biggest super governments in the world. The center of everything. And the home base of the Justice League of America. In the sky, Superman and Green Lantern are carrying the two green Giants over from Los Angeles.
In an airfield, a pack of soldiers, captains, and two of the Justice League members Adam Strange, Blue Beetle, and the Atom stand, waiting for the two heroes to drop off the two giants. As they get closer to them, Superman and Green Lantern slowly, and safely place the two giants down on the ground.
Superman: We found these two big guys in Los Angeles. We want you to evaluate them.
Atom: Then you’ve called the right people to do the job!
Green Lantern: That was a bit too enthusiastic.
Adam Strange: We’ll need to bring them into the base. Lantern.
Green Lantern: Oh, no way! My arm is about to literally fall off from carrying that fat sack hundreds of miles over here! Sups, you deal with--
But Superman has already lifted off from the ground and was heading off into the sky.
Green Lantern: -- it. Son of a bitch...
Adam Strange: Well… we’re waiting.
Green Lantern: *Sigh*
No matter what he could do, nothing could bring Superman out of the state that he was going through. The events that have left him shocked over what he has done has made the Man of Steel guilty, and emotionally weak. It was the day he never thought would come. The day they came. The day he had to do the unthinkable. And he was guilty for all of it…
We hid from our own habitat because we were afraid. Afraid that if someone came to our planet to kill us, we would be wiped from the face of the land again. And we hid. We hid from fear. But we grew. And we have no more fear. All we have is hope.
A city that was plagued with myths of its existences, now proudly standing as existing, and as real as the myths claim it to be.
In the palace, King Arthur, also known as Aquaman, and many Atlantian warriors get their weapons and gear ready to travel somewhere. Aquaman stands beyond the rest of his people, and besides him are his warriors and Mera, his wife.
Arthur: Good day to you all, my people! I have called for this assembly for you all so I can inform you that your king will now be heading off to Themyscira, with my best warriors, to prepare and train in a new annual competition between our two societies! All Atlanteans are free to join the event once it begins! Under my absences, I have placed my wife as ruler of Atlantis!
The crowd cried even louder for their Queen.
Atlanteans: All hail Queen Mera!
Arthur: Until then, I bid you all farewell!
Aquaman and his dozen Warriors approach what looks to be a teleporter; a circular device, decorated in golden Atlantean architecture, with a blue swirling pool of water circling around. An Atlantean scientist stands aside from the teleporter, in front of a control pad. He presses a few buttons and turns a knob over. Suddenly, the pool begins to swirl faster and faster, where even the color changes from a seawater blue, to chalk white. The swirl eventually stops, revealing the identities of Diana of Themyscira, and Hera on the other side. Aquaman and the warriors walk through this portal.
Standing patiently for the arrival of one of their most loyal allies is Hippolyta, queen of Themyscira, and her daughter, Princess Diana. But to her allies, and to the humans, she is known as Wonder Woman. Aquaman and his warriors all enter out of the portal, greeted by the Queen and Princess, as well as other Amazonians.
Arthur: (Kneels down) Good day to you, Queen Hippolyta. And to you to, Princess Diana.
Diana: And to you to, King Arthur.
Hippolyta: Our tournament begins tomorrow. I hope your best warriors are prepared for such an event.
Arthur: I would not of come here as a competitor if I did not find my warriors to come with me.
Hippolyta: Excellent. The colosseum is open for your men to train and practice in.
Arthur: Thank you.
His guards leave the scene, heading for the colosseum.
Diana: We will be having a dinner celebration tonight. We would like you to come, if nothing comes up, that is.
Arthur: I should be saying the same for you as well. I will be at the dinner, tonight. Don’t worry.
Washington D.C. Base:
Inside of a garage of the base, the two Green giants are laid down on the ground, being evaluated my multiple scientists, including Adam Strange and Blue Beetle. Adam Strange is evaluating monitor charts of the beasts, while Blue Beetle is studying the beasts physical forms, and writing down statements on a clipboard.
Blue Beetle: How’s it in there, Ray?
Atom came out from an open wound they had made, and soon grows back to his original size, standing on the titan.
Atom: Evaluating this guy was a pain. His arteries was full of cholesterol!
Blue Beetle: I never knew you had a sense of humor. Usually I’m the one making the jokes.
Atom: I wasn’t joking. I was complaining. Besides the point, I have found some, very interesting stuff about this thing.
The Atom and Blue Beetle begin to walk over towards Adam Strange.
Atom: Overall, it’s body structure and blood is human. The size and DNA that I collected, and evaluated will tell us what this thing really is.
Adam Strange: (turns to see Blue and Atom) You have the data samples?
Atom: As promised. (He hands him the DNA sample)
Adam then inserts the DNA plate into the computers. It begins analyzing the sample given. It finishes, and displays certain numbers, fractions, and percentages.
Adam Strange: Hm. Interesting. These guys have some human DNA in them, but then theres some data I can’t identify. Let me trace where the origins of the samples came from.
Blue Beetle: It can do that?
Adam Strange: I built this computer with Rannian tech. Of course It can. Scanning…
The computer traces the DNA back to a picture of the planet Mars.
Adam Strange: Mars?
Blue Beetle: So this means they’re martians?
Atom: Implausible. They have strands of human DNA. Hybrid, maybe?
Adam Strange: Maybe. Let’s trace the origin of the human DNA.
Atom gives Adam the blood samples, and he enters it into the computer. It scans again, then revealing the origins coming from Seattle, Washington.
Blue Beetle: Seattle?
Atom: Yep. Definitely a hybrid.
Adam Strange: Maybe not. We’d have to evaluate this more to see what these guys really are...
And this is our hope. We have learned to be superior in all ways possible. And now you stand against our way to become superior. We will defeat you. We will end you. We will become superior. And you won’t stand in our way. Because we are that Hope…
To be continued in Justice League of America Issue 3!