It still tastes like there is salad in my mouth even though there isn't.
12 hours ago
I ate so much salad. Like past the amount where it stops being good for you.
12 hours ago
The girl at Subway fucking KILLED it on this sub. Really earning that 100% I gave them on Yelp.
2 days ago
"I'm exhausted." - some girl after trying on 3 dresses.
2 days ago
Some girl said "It just isn't cheer-mazing". And she could not be more correct. #syttd
2 days ago
Watching "Say Yes to the Dress". This shit is fucked.
2 days ago
Even the original movies they made were barely related to the show. Chill out.
3 days ago
People who are trying to compare Star Trek Into Darkness to the original show are just asking to be pissed off.
3 days ago
Bacon wrapped steak trips. Fuck off, you're beautiful.
4 days ago
Yelled "Happy Harbor" and "You screwed Jay" at Force Pro Wrestling. @HHComics
4 days ago
Had my first game of #DotA2 and nobody asked if my mother is inbred. #bigplays
4 days ago
Eating trail mix. Not givin' a fuck. #PARTYSLUTS
5 days ago
D&D 5E game wrapped for tonight. Iced a goblin king by dangling him off a ledge then letting go.
7 days ago
More D&D 5E tonight. 4E is all "Remember the good times we had?" and I'm all "Shut up and get back in the closet!". #dndnext
7 days ago
It turns out my condo is actually inside an evil witch's oven.
8 days ago
Superfloss is a solid invention. It beats the shit out of the floss threader.
9 days ago
Bing doesn't think my band exists. It's a good thing nobody uses Bing. #bingiton
11 days ago
"I'm not try to sound hip... but I watch the webisodes. I log on." - Jon Stewart
14 days ago
First D&D 5e game. Pretty different. Pretty cool.
14 days ago
Don't put a hat on a hat.
15 days ago
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