Even though what we do is wrong. Rated E for Editman

(This is the first of a 10 part series.)

Not everyone starts out with a typical hero intro, dead parents; some weird natural phenomenon; or a multi-million dollar company financing state of the art technology. Sometimes the complete a$$holes, the idiots, the socially inert; are placed in situations to where their entire livelihood comes down to a simple decision.

He could hear some incoherent chatter, his captors were very careful not to reveal any sensitive information about their locale. Not that he could decipher it anyways, his mind quickly tried to analyze the last few segments leading to his capture.

The mask, which turned out to be a potato sack; was finally removed from his head, standing across from him were armed terrorist, looking to negotiate with the U.S. Before fear could set in, he began laughing hysterically.

“Yall fcked up, not only did you kidnap a private; but yall kidnapped a BLACK private! They aint coming to get my black-ass!”

The nearest gunmen butt checked him with his rifle; his head jerked forcefully to the left before; he rest it spitting out a pint of his own blood in the process. “I really should’ve finished that damn SERE training.” The terrorist once again began shouting in some gibberish.

Thinking quickly, he moved back and forth, trying to get is IR patches exposed; this would aid anyone who MIGHT attempt to save him to locate his IR.

His platoon had been moving through Egypt in an attempt to locate a source of information; it was just like the army to send a whole platoon of soldiers into a mission without giving them the whole scope. Not that he would’ve paid attention anyways, his LT had the fattest ass; he’d stand at attention all day for a piece of it.

His coasting off coast him dearly, the blunt end of the weapon smashed against his mandible knocking him out.

{Wake up Sean} “Hu…Jesus?” {Not Quite}

The slit of his eye’s opened to see the floor, suspended from his ankles high above the room; tried to flail to safety.

{Because falling from 10 feet head first is a good idea} the voice responded this time in a sardonic manner. “Wait…who the fck said that!” his head snapped around the room looking for another person, there was no one.

{My name is Jeeves} “Jeeves? Cutting it kind of close don’t you think?” {Copyrights, what can I say}.

{I’m an artificial intelligence, programmed deep into your sub conscious} “My subconscious is a presumably white British man?”

{Your fantasy, not mine}.

“Alright Jar-veeesss, how do I get down?” with blood rushing to his head, the feeling of vertigo set in. “Oh sh!t imma throw up…”

{Calm down help is on the way} Jeeves instructed. {Press your palm against the ropes, and when I say when; breathe}



{I said breathe!}


Sean’s hand erupted in flames, burning him in the process. “fck! He screamed, falling to the floor below. “Next time, Imma need a better explanation…” {No time for that, your fall will have alerted the guards, get up against the wall.} Sean did so, the eccentric way; doing a combat roll he hit the side of the wall hard, making more noise.

A hailstorm of AK fire shattered the wooden door, heat swirled in his hands and the rest; well it was simple.

“BURN!!!!!!” his dark face flashed a decorative orange; the searing flames on impact vaporized his captors. “Holy sh!t just how hot are these flames” {Apparently, hot enough to vaporize humans} Jeeves responded somewhat impressed. {You don’t seem surprised, I suspect this isn’t the first time you’ve used it?}

“It’s not, I used it as a little kid to blow out my candles, and it’s a good thing I didn’t have to many friends back then”. {Where are you going?} “I have to rescue the other prisoners.” His own heat was causing him to sweat abundantly. {Funny you didn’t strike me as the hero type} “I’m not, one of the others has my Ipod”

The room on the farthest side of the compound contained the hostages; Sean stormed the door, and sent his foot smashing into the door. He probably didn’t judge the distance, or maybe didn’t apply enough force, because his kick didn’t do sh!t, but send a pain recoiling into his knee.

{Perhaps, you should just burn a damn hole through the door}“Shut up, I got caught in the moment” Sean placed his hands on the door, expecting his heat too automatically burn the door.

{Bollocks, what the fck are you waiting for?} The impatient voice screamed. “I don’t know how I was doing that”. {JESUS WEPT ON THE CROSS, breathe idiot} The agitated private exhaled deeply, setting the whole door frame on fire.

{Nice job…no really nice job; I mean I was wondering how this escape could get harder} the bellicose voice jeered. “You know what you’re an asshole” Sean quickly stormed the room, the hostages were all gaged and presumably pissed on, or maybe someone pissed on themselves; he couldn’t be bothered to check which one.

Using his Gerber to cut the ropes and gags (Yes, he miraculously finds his gerber stfu), his first inclination was to push the people through the burning door. “Why didn’t you just come through the hole in the wall?” A woman asked, directing his attention to the hole inside the wall beside the door.


“Jeeves…” The hostages under the leadership of Sean quickly exited the building, only to be looking at the DELTA FORCE. “HOLY fcksticks” Sean said, stopping in his tracks.“Don’t fire!” he screamed, they dropped their weapons, which admittedly made him feel like a badass.

{Good job Sean}

“Thanks” he replied, letting loose a deep sigh. A woman in a business suit exited a SUV, and moved towards his location.

{Ooooh look at this Miley Cyrus} Jeeves voice was sort of a trigger for Sean’s hormones.

“PFC Smith, My name is Paige Price; United States Homeland security” She flashed a badge, but Sean couldn’t help but wonder; “If this b!tch his here, who is protecting the homeland?” “We’re going to need you to come with us” She said, putting something on Sean’s neck, yet again knocking him out.

{OH SH! T SEAN, THIS B!TCH LYING!} Jeeves screaming was the last thing he remembered.

A couple of hours later.

“I feel like one of them n!ggas from heroes” his voice was weak, and his naturally dark completion was beyond ashy. {Maaaan b!tches aint sh!t} Jeeves jeered, to which Sean uncontrollably agreed to.

Paige had him chained to the wall, given his circumstances; making a joke was out of the question. “I’m glad you’re awake Mr. Smith” {Can a n!gga get some lotion?}.

“Do you know why you’re here Mr. Smith?” she asked, standing underneath him with her hands folded. “Oh let’s see, because you shocked me b!tch!” he snapped trying to spit at her, but his lips were so chapped, it simply got soaked up by his bottom lip.

“No, you’re here because you were our little experiment; when you went to MEPS; we infused a bio agent into your body; it’s why you can use your own body heat as a weapon”

{B!tch did you turn me into Cyborg} “At least it’s not Falcon” {Trrrrrue}

“No Jeeves, we did not turn you into Cyborg, we turned you into the next step of human evolution” Sean didn’t give two sh!ts about human evolution; all he knew was now he would never need a toaster.

“When did you do this to me, I don’t remember it at all” Paige smiled, her stance was a dominant one. “Back in 1983 you were hospitalized for a fever; the doctor who oversaw your treatment was one; Herman Price. My father”

“Yeah…Jeeves remind me to Ocho Cinco this bitch” {so she experimented on you as a child} “What do you want with me NOW?” {She wants the D}

“Well, I need your help”

(In Unison) “{She wants the D!”}

“What?” it never dawned to him that she could hear her. “Nothing, nothing; help with what?”

“You want me to work for homeland security?” {You dumbass, she doesn’t work for homeland security} “I don’t work for homeland security, I work for an underground company called Apex Industries. We gave you the virus that allows you to do what you do. We can give you a paycheck and a job, what do you say?”

“You think I can be bought?” Sean scoffed, turning his head like a high end prostitute. “I can offer you six figures.”

“Six figures is nice, but makes you think I can be purchased?” Sean crossed his arms, the thick structure of his jawline could be seen protruding through his face.

“Fine, if this is the route you want to take” He could tell he had struck a nerve, the redhead straddled a chair before, removing a massive file from her briefcase.

“Sean Smith, also known on the streets as Solomon Caesar, served a 3 month sentence in a Juvenile detention center; for OWNING a copy of the anarchist cookbook”. {When she places extra emphasis on words, it really sounds bad}

“Served one year in prison for Grand Larceny, served an additional six months for assault with a deadly weapon. I’m not sure if you paid off the judge, or just had a really good lawyer. Knowing your kind, it was probably the first.


“Force entry into the armed forces, you weren’t there for even six months; before being punished under UCMJ for Sexual Harassment?” both of them went silent for a moment, her eye’s asked for an explanation.

“If you would’ve saw the way she was rockin that towel, you’d hit on her too” he responded impulsively.

“Besides, I believe the correct term is coetus sordidus” Sean took a seat, there was no real reason for Paige to bring up his history; other than to set him up for blackmail.

“Wait…she was a prostitute, but she was 56?!”

“n-no, she wasn’t a prostitute; I WAS” He tilted his head back, the confusion on Paige’s face was exactly how he pictured it.

“See, when b!tches are prostitutes no one cares, because that’s the natural order of things; but the moment someone does something against the natural order, people panic.” It was clear to see that Paige wasn’t getting what he was talking about.

“So, how does selling yourself for money upset the natural order of things?”{We’re off topic like a mutha…}

“I’ll explain it to you later, but you were going somewhere with my rap sheet?”{Looks like she’s interested in your philosophy} “Good, but I made it up”.

“I can make all this go away, all you have to do is help out my stock holders” It didn’t surprise him; everything in America was influenced by money.

“By doing what?”

“We recently begin to invest in correctional facilities, the more inmates held; the more money our investors make. You’ll even be able to make a profit from it; I’m pretty sure you know a bunch of homies that can aid you with that”

Paige’s semi-racist comments began to bug him; he couldn’t believe this b!tch was asking him to populate a privately owned prison.

{Oh hell naw, this b!tch want you to rat on the homies!}

“Listen here, you rat raced redheaded demon! I’m not filling prisons for your stockholders! Get another n!gga” he pushed his chair away, and quickly made for the door only to be stopped again; by Paige’s blackmailing.

“Sean do you know what happened to you while you were knocked out?” {She fcked you kid} “When the hell were you going to tell me?”

{I figured you wouldn’t care, I mean she has no chest, no ass, it was really a painful experience. It was like watching sloth porn. You know what they say, if she’s a 2 at 10, then she’ll be a 10 at 2}.

“Goddamnit Jeeves, you raped me!” he screamed pointing at Paige.

“That’s exactly what I’ll say you did to me” Paige quickly responded. “And who is going to believe a black male in…MISSISSIPPI”

{Damn she’s good}

“You’ll be our hero, the champion of the people, sign autographs, read to kids; and fill our prisons.”

This plan, he could tell it took years to plan, it was almost as if; he were purposely kidnapped in Egypt to set this moment up.

“Ok, Mary” {It’s Paige} “Whatever!”

“I’ll play this little game with you; but you won’t have me on a leash for long; the moment I see an opening; you’re going down.”

Posted by Mercy_


Posted by Legacy_


Posted by Pyrogram

“I feel like one of them n!ggas from heroes”

LOL Good job man!

Posted by Armistice


Nice work

Edited by Heroin_Girl

I like it. Love the depth... Good job man... People could learn from this example. Seriously.

Posted by Surkit

Can tell you been working on your pro writing, not just a dope story but real good structure too.

Edited by Editman
Posted by A1
Posted by Armistice

@editman: If we ever get to know one another IC, we have to do an RPG where our AI's just talk shit to one another throughout.