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Caio Rants: Top 10 Worst Simpsons Episodes

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You see I enjoy the Simpsons as much as the next guy, but lets face it, you can't stay fresh all the time specially after 25 years. Nowadays, I get a laugh here and there, but after 10 minutes I just forget about it, that is why I don't watch it as often as I did. But as stale as the series are at this point, you can't deny that in its two decades long run, they didn't have its missteps. Some episodes in particular go way beyond boring or forgettable, they are straight up unwatchable and they stick in my memory no matter what, when I would sooner forget them. So after, I saw a truly wretched episode from this year's season. I decided to pierce my most hated Simpsons episode in a Top 10 list. As with the subjective nature of this list, you don't have to agree with everything here, its just my own personal opinion why these episodes are horrid. If you disagree or would want to put your own hated episodes, I would like to hear in the comment section. Excuse if I sound biased in this blog, but its the chance of run my bias steamroller. Now with no further ado...

10. Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (Season 9)

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I should start with the very first episode I absolutely loathed as a kid. After Bart accidentaly burns down the Christmas tree and presents while everyone was asleep, he makes up some bullsh*t story that they were robbed. The townspeople luckily enough give them more than enough compensation for the damages and everyone is happy... Until they find out on TV the melted remains of the tree/presents. As response, the town shuns the Simpsons family and at the end, in one of the possibly most sickening acts I've seen in the series, everyone loots their house leaving the Simpsons with nothing, yet the episode is supposed to end on a happy note as they still have each other. Yay?!?

I can't described how appalled I was when I first it, add to the fact the rest of the episode isn't very funny or memorable, I would sooner sit through several dull episodes than watch this one again.

9. The Tale of Two Springfields (Season 12)

I would sacrifice everything for my right of 636 area code.
I would sacrifice everything for my right of 636 area code.

I understand Homer is meant to be an idiot, but this episode made me question if he is even able to count past 3 or spell his own name right, because sure as hell, he can't remember a simple three digit number; Just because the area codes were changed, he raises a angry mob, tries to blow up city hall, cause the the town to be split into two, runs the New Springfield to the ground and effectivaly drives away all of his new town citizens. Over freaking area codes which only he had a problem with. There is nothing like selfish as attempting a terrorist, killing himself and dozens a people because he can't type 939.

No wonder this depiction of Homer is referred by fans as "Jerkass Homer" and its atributted to producer Mike Scully taking the direct reins of the characterization. In the first seasons, he was ignorant and clueless yes, but he was always trying his best for everyone, and while he did take his frustration out in strangling Bart a few times, he wasn't severely selfish, crude, cruel and petty as he was during the early 2000s.

8.Lisa the Simpson (Season 9)

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Lisa-centric episodes in general tend to be looked down and with good reason, as they often turn into self-righteous soapboxing, but this episode goes even further to make everyone miserable so long as to make Lisa happy. She finds out that the family has a gene that basically makes you go dumber as you grown old. She fears she might become a failure in the future and gives up hope... Until we find out at the end of the episode, that only men carry the Simpson gene, while women are safe from it. Ignoring the fact had completely butt-f***ed basic genetics, prior continuity showed Bart and Homer had were capable of cunning feats, despite not faring well accademically and Grandpa Ape being competent in the battlefield, but this episode ends on the note that all men in the Simpsons family are doomed to basically become drooling idiots and there's nothing they can do about it. But not Lisa, so apparently this is a happy ending. Yep, Bart is never going to have a decent career and he's probably going to fail at every endeavor, and Homer was destined to that fate from the start. The worst part is that they could have had it end with Lisa accepting the gene, and have Homer give it to her. But no-oo. Lisa must be always be right.

7. Skinner's Sense Of Snow (Season 12)

We should have skipped school today.
We should have skipped school today.

The plot in a nutshell: Skinner reaches the epitome of educational idiocy by pulling his most despicable (from a grade-schooler's perspective, anyway) stunt ever - keeping his school open in a ridiculously snowy day, right before Christmas, to avoid breaking the school's streak of being open without delay. Obviously, this cleverly thought-through "last day of school" - which the other teachers wisely chose to spend elsewhere - happens to end right as a snowstorm buries the entire school. You'd expect Skinner to apologize and try to find a way out, but no; instead, he goes R. Lee Ermey on his own students, which, you guessed it, causes them to gang up on him soon enough.

This doesn't change the fact they're trapped there, with the only ones trying to save them being two bloodthirsty wolves and Homer and Flanders, who risked to die of carbon monoxyde intoxication in the latter's car. By the end of the episode, a Deus Ex Machina save the day when Homer and Ned happen to crash into a silo full of salt, that thankfully collapses in front of the school. This is the worst part: Skinner asks Bart not to speak of this incident... and Bart agrees. While I won't say he necessarily got entirely away with endangering his students, as he is made their chew toy during the whole time they are in command, but it doesn't change that fact there were no lasting effects after this episode.

6. The Boys of Bummer (Season 18)

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Oh look, its another instance where the people of Springfield are douchebags! When Bart looses a very easy pop fly in a baseball game, the whole town flip their sh*t and decide to persecute, insult and humiliate at every turn. ts ridiculous that a entire town of grown man would make fun of a kid for a frivolous thing such as loosing in a baseball game. But things take turn from the worse, as the scorn and humiliation by everyone drives Bat clinically insane and he tries to commit suicide. And it doesn't even end there, while Bart is hospitalized, a angry mob is formed outside shouting "Bart sucks, Bart sucks".

Not only is this horrible from a writing standpoint, but on a moral standpoint, it shows that this whole town people deserve to be visited by Bane from the Dark Knight Rises. Its not even funny on a black comedy manner, and if that was the point, this humor belongs to either Family Guy or South Park. I have nothing against it, I enjoy it in fact, but the whole point was lost onme.

5. Bart-Mangled Manner (Season 15)

It makes as much sense as context... Which is none.
It makes as much sense as context... Which is none.

This episode is an nonsensical clusterf*ck. How else can you describe a episode that starts with Bart becoming deaf with a injection shot and ending with the Simpsons moving out to France to their new home the US?!?!? Because that is exactly what happens. Alright, there is a lot of sh*t that happens in between that is just so random, its not even worth to explain. Its a part of the series to make the episode's story making sh*t up as they go along, but the entirety of this episode was absurd. This was the argument used for the much reviled "Kill a Alligator and Run", where the Simpsons visit Florida and are wanted for murdering a alligator after Homer has a mid-life crisis.

4. Black-Eyed Please (Season 24)

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This recent episode was the one that drove me write this blog rant. Just as Lisa's apparent dream teacher is hired to substitute Ms. Hoover, the new teacher appears to be cold and hostile toward her, and only Lisa, to the point, she believes she being bullied. You know, during the first time I watched it, I was foolishly hopeful and naive to think that the substitute teacher was not intentionally mean to Lisa, she was just stern, she realized her full potential and wanted to incentive Lisa to better herself. After Lisa arranges for the teacher to be fired as payback, we learn that she was picking on her out of purely shallow reasons, and Lisa is delighted to hear that she is seen as pretty.

I don't know why I came up with that possible plotline, that would give too much credit to the writers, considering the state the current seasons are.

3. Homer vs Diginity (Season 12)

Yes, they went there...
Yes, they went there...

The title alone should give an clue we were in for the suck, and it should come to no surprise how high this episode position in the list. When Homer is low on money and ask a raise for Mr. Burns, who is absolutely bored and looking for ways to amuse himself, hires Homer to be his prank monkey, performing several degrading pranks but the one that really takes the cake has to be dressing up as a panda in the zoo and being forced to mate with a real panda. Because that is exactly what passes for comedy: watching people being raped by animals.

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This makes me want grab whoever came up with this idea by the collar, slap them in the face and ask "WHAT IN AKATOSH'S NAME WHERE YOU THINKING?!?". There is the little fact they recycle plotlines from other episodes like "Homer the Smithers" (where Mr. Burns makes a slave out of Homer), Its made even worse by the fact that Springfield's own Walder Frey gets away scott-free by the end of episode, managing to cover everyone with fish guts.... But yeah, the rape panda scene is considered the jump the shark moment of the series, along with the following position.

2. The Principal and the Pauper (Season 9)

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I think everyone much agrees this episode deserves to be on everyone's worst list, regardless which position it holds. We discover that Seymour Skinner we know is in fact a fraud, he is actually a friend of the real Seymour Skinner, that was believed to have died during Vietnam War, and assumed his identity. When the real Seymour Skinner shows up to take his rightful place, the fake Principal Skinner leaves town as nobody can trust him, but after everyone realizes they prefer the fake Skinner better, they bring him back, exile the real one and make a decreet to never mention it again under penalty of torture.

I could go on forever bitching about the logical contrivences that allowed the fake Skinner pass as the real one, but my point is they completely retcon a already established character's backstory, only to just as easily undo the retcon in the same episode, as if nothing happened. I find odd that when Armin Tazanian, the fake's Skinner real identity leaves, so that the real one can take his place, the real Skinner is not exactly a douchebag or portrayed negativaly, and even then the town (in this sense, Agnes and Selma) still want Armin back as Principal Skinner. There is very little I can add that everyone already said about it, even the writers and the voice actors despise this episode (which is a shame because Martin Sheen is wasted in his role as the real Skinner).

And on a side-note, I know this is The Simpsons and all, nothing like real life, but I sorta expected Chief Wiggun or Judge Snyder having something to say about Armin/Seymour committing fraud. Just sayin'...

1. Alone Again, Natura-Diddily (Season 11)

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I think many people will disagree with me here, but I hate this episode more than the Principal and the Pauper. This has to be the most loathsome, depressing, tasteless and just plain awful Simpsons episode that I never want to see again. Its the one where Maude Flander dies. While I understand that her voice actress left the show, so it makes sense they should get rid of the character, the way she was disposed seemed over-the-top and boderline exploitative. This episode effectively ruined Homer's character for me as well, having caused her death for something so stupid, and its even stunning time that his shenanigans actually got someone killed this time.

Just like Number 2, it shows how the series is stagnant on its own status quo. Let's face facts, Maude isn't a very important character, so the her death didn't affect the whole series at large, but it would affect Ned and his family' characters. You would think Ned would have a crisis of faith, become more bitter or you know, cut any ties of friendship he might had with Homer, but by the end of the episode, he still remains pious as ever, already has a potential girlfriend and he somehow can still stand Homer's presence. Sooooooooo... His character really didn't change at all, except he is now a widow. Character evolution is wasted and killing Maude's death was pointless.

This episode has to be the zenith of Homer's jerkessary as we learn that not only he caused Maude's death, but parked in the ambulance spot preventing any ressurrection to be made, feel down drunk over her grave, taped Ned's in his life without his consent (including when he was taking a bath) over a tape Marge giving birth to one of the kids. Valencia Lucia from neonmoderntimes put it best when she said.

"In my eyes from this moment on Homer ceases to be a sympathetic character or even someone that is likable on any level. And when your main character is hard to like, a TV show just doesn’t work especially when the writers are at the desperation stage of killing off characters for publicity."

Seriously, f**k this episode ┌∩┐ಠ___ಠ┌∩┐

Dishonarable Mentions

Donnie Fatso - Another recent episode, its more or less the Principal and the Pauper. Long story short, Fat Tony dies, then his near identical cousin Fit Tony takes his place, proceding to take a lot of weight and becoming the new Fat Tony. This has to be one of the most laziest, pointless reset cop outs I ever seen, if the Principal and the Pauper was not already there. You think the writers would have learned their lesson from Principal Skinner/Armin Tazanian, but no, that would have been the smart thing to do.

Saddlesore Galactica - I acknowledge this episode is really hated by the fan community for recycling so many plot points of previous episodes (a testament to the writer's laziness) and putting a dreadful musical sequence at the end. But really... I am just indifferent toward it. Going from Comic Book Guy's reaction in the episode, its entirely possible the episode was made intentionally to piss the fans off, so not really a misstep from a certain point of view.

Bart to the Future - I think its time for the series to stop making episodes set in the future showing the kids grown up, with advanced technology around. There were so many of these featuring so many of those varying possibilities as Lisa=successful, Bart=loser. Remember the Lisa's Wedding episode (which I liked BTW) that said in 2010 we would have floating cars, human-like robots would have been commonplace there would have been a World War Three where England save the America' ass? No pointing in setting the series on a near future if the series goes as longs as there in real life.

Kill the Alligator and Run - A very widely hated episode that is all over the place just like Bart-Spangled Manner. I considered putting them in the same position, since they are almost as bad, but if you had to watch only one of the two, I would choose Kill the Alligator and Run in a heartbeat.

Thank you guys for reading it, I hope you enjoyed it. What are your most hated episodes in the whole show?

See ya next time =)

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