@impurestcheese: I was a little confused in the beginning but the story sort of picked up towards the end. Not as much action as the last issue but I think that it turned out to be a wise decision (allows us to examine the main character more than the cameo fighter). So is Elenore Hawker Actual or Hawker One?
@impurestcheese: Really liked this ending. It sort of reminds me of how Young Justice used to end episodes, just when you think the story is wrapped up and the villain is done for an even eviler mastermind lurks behind the shadows.
@impurestcheese: It could be worse. At least they don't ask you about Braveheart, or if Highlander was based off of a true story. XD
The whole unworldlyness of Americans is pretty annoying over here. From a young age we are taught that we live in the greatest country for several reasons (most of which are complete bs) and that most other countries are too dangerous (besides the other white ones). Ironically, the people who wish to travel the most are the either the ones who are too poor to leave or too rich and bored to stay put.
@turbinail: Technically your next issue should be #2 since this one no longer needs to exist. You might want to speak with our moderators @the_poet or @razzatazz if you decide you want to lock this thread and start fresh on the next one.
@turbinail: A lot of details are missing in this, which would leave your audience slightly confused, and the dialogue seems to be forced in certain spots. Great writing is difficult because it requires a higher concentration of thought. Try to take time to think about what you are trying to say. Reread you work several times and see if there is anything you would like to add to the plot or change with the dialogue. Once those steps of followed you will have a more elaborate and coherent chapter.