Delphic's forum posts

#1 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@abdullahzubair: Gotham is currently closed off due to the large amount of Bat based stories we have already. I do not know about Shazam, Cyborg, or Beast Boy

Let me bring in my fellow head writers, and they can help further decide if you can enter the trials or not. @joygirl, @impurestcheese, @dngn4774. Can Abdul attempt at trial?

#2 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@tommythehitman: Thanks for the vote, Tommy.

By the way, Bishop. Happy Birthday. ^_^

#3 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio
#4 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio
#5 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774: I need to finish reading the CCC entries so I can cast my vote. After that I'll get to reading both your suicide squads.

#6 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@avenging_x_bolt: See, you can do it! This was a pretty good read over all, but it could have done with a little proofreading. You have a few errors with typos and some misplaced wording, so I would advise looking over your work before posting it, and correcting mistakes that you see right off. Stuff like correcting comma splices, and sentence structure will come as you gain more experience.

Now the one thing I felt was a bit "wonky" was your dialogue. Now I understand that when it comes to step-parents, some kids don't call them "mom" or "dad", but they don't talk to them the way that Tim was talking to Dana. It read to me like Tim was talking to a girlfriend, so it felt a little strange while reading that. Also in the actual text the way the internal monologue that Tim had going felt like Tim had feelings for Dana, so unless that was your intention then I suggest re-thinking the approach to their relationship.

Other than that, great job, I'm very impressed with your effort. Keep writing, because practice makes perfect. I'm looking forward to more.

#7 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: Here's my entry.

Remembrance

Life was such a peculiar thing. No matter where you go people always seem to look at it differently. Some see life through rose colored glasses, where everything is made up of sunshine and rainbows. Others see life through the grime colored spyglass of cynicism, always itching for that next horrible thing to happen. What about about a man who saw life completely different from every other human being on the planet? A man who had always lived his life seeing things that others could not. Feeling what they could not. There was once such a man, and his name was Jack Spade.

It was a hot day, and despite all the open windows, and the electric fan blowing in the corner of the room it seemed like there was no rest from the hellish heat of the summer. Jack sat behind his desk, loosened his tie, and unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Sweat poured from his brow, so Jack took the already damp handkerchief he held in his hand and dabbed around his forehead. He sighed praying for some sort of relief to come soon, perhaps it was late in the day, and before long that damnable sun would set. He looked at his watch and groaned when he saw the hands seemingly forever perched on 1:45 PM. It was turning out to be a long day.

Jack looked up in time to see a silhouette appear on the other side of the window of his office door, and straightened his tie. His office was on the fourth floor of the building, and the only people who had any reason to be up here where potential clients, or at least that was what he hoped. It could be some fool that had managed to get themselves lost on the way to the accounting offices on the floor below him. When he heard a knock at the door he smiled.

“Come on in. It’s open.” Jack called out feeling almost as happy as a kid at christmas. It had been a slow month, and for a private eye to pay rent you needed clients. What Jack had expected from what he had seen through the window was someone’s old lady. Another poor dame that had suspected her husband of having a mistress. Work like that was usually boring, but a broad’s money was just as good as any other schnook that walked in his door, but what walked in caused Jack to sit up straight and lean forward, eyeing the spectacle before him like a dog that had just been presented to a prime rib.

The dame was a knockout from head to toe, and where most broads would cover themselves up to hide their purpose when visiting his little abode, this lady held no shame. The heels made a distinctive click as she took each step into his office, and the scarlet dress that came halfway down her thigh showed enough leg that would have made any school boy fall to his knees to beg for just a moment of her time.

“Is this Jack Spade’s office?” She asked with a voice that sent chills up his spine, and he couldn’t help but notice how her dress clung to her curves leaving little to his imagination. “Is everything all right?”

Suddenly Jack looked up realizing that he had just been gawking at the woman like a putz. He shook his head to bring himself back to his senses, and stood up quickly, nearly knocking everything on his desk over, causing the woman to chuckle. Damn, she was cute when she laughed too, this woman had already shaken him more than he liked, and his gut told him he better quit acting like schlub, and do his job.

“You’re in the right place ma’am. Please have a seat.” Jack smiled and motioned toward the chair in front of his desk. When she sat down and crossed her legs Jack had to force himself not to look down. Dresses like that didn’t like keep things to themselves, and it was obvious to him that this woman, whoever she was, was really trying him. Instead he did his best to keep eye contact, and conduct himself in a business-like manner.

“I’m Jack Spade, what can I do you for Mrs?” Jack asked reaching his hand across the desk to shake her hand.

“It’s Miss.” the woman replied as she returned the handshake, “Miss Cordelia Brown.”

“Well Ms. Brown. It’s nice to meet you, so what brings you to me?”

“I’m looking for a man.” She replied, looking down at her purse.

“You’ve got a name?”

“No, but I have a picture.” She said as she opened her purse and pulled out the photo. She looked up directly into Jack’s eyes, as she slid the photo across the table. Suddenly Jack started to get an uneasy feeling in his gut, and when he grabbed the photo he felt even more uneasy.

“This is Bob Peters. He was my partner back when I was a cop.” Jack said looking at a family photo of an overweight balding man, his wife, and two kids. “Where did you get this photo? It looks like the same one Bob’s wife keeps in his living room?”

“It is?” Cordelia replied followed by the sound of the hammer of a revolver being pulled back. Jack looked up to see Cordelia standing over him the gun aimed right at his head.

“Hey now wait a minute!?” Jack raised his hands up, “What’s the meaning of this?”

“Ten years ago, two little girls were victims to a kid raper. One of the girls was my sister, and I guess you can figure who the other was.” She said as she grimaced at him never once moving the gun. “You’re buddy Bob he took care of the sicko, but he saw me, and just couldn’t help himself. He had his way with me, and my she tried to stop him, but your partner put two in her chest, and you just watched.”

“What are you talking about!? I’ve never saw Bob hurt any kids.”

“No, you sat in the car, and watched the front door of the house. Even when the gunshots went off, you just sat there and watched, and now you get to watch again, as I do to you what I did to Bob Peters.”

“What did you do to Bob!?”

“You can ask him, when you see him in hell, though you might not recognize him.” Cordelia grinned. Jack sat there unable to move. Not sure of what to do. If he attempted to grab the gun he would die, and if he waited too long he would die.

“I wish you could remember this moment as much as I will.” Cordelia grinned as she pulled the trigger. Time seemed to slow down for Jack, as he heard the cylinder turned, and saw the bright light appear down the dark tunnel of the barrel. It was in that brief moment Jack went back to the time that he was looking out the window of a car. The world series was on, and it was the bottom of the ninth. When he heard a loud noise he looked up just long enough to see a girl’s face through the basement window of the house she had been crying, her face full of fear. How did he forget that? Why didn’t he get out of the car?

There was a loud bang. It was funny how dying never seemed to hurt.

Cordelia lowered the smoking gun, and breathed a sigh of relief. Years of long awaited revenge had finally been finished. Bob Peters and his whole family was dead. Including the kids. Nothing good could have came from that man, so she had done the world of favor by slicing little Jimmy and Susan’s throats. Also that joke of a wife, a belly full of buckshot had finished her off, but as for Bob she took her dear sweet time with him. She made him feel the pain he had been feeling for years.

Jack Spade had been the last part of the tale that she had so long desired to see to it’s conclusion, and now she looked at too lifeless eyes and a gaping hole right between the sicko’s eyes. Cordelia put the gun back in her purse and took one last look at the man who liked to watch. His eyes were still open, still watching her. She wanted nothing more than to just cut them out, but she didn’t have time. The cops would be here soon, and she had plans to be out of town before dark. She looked down at the corpse of Jack Spade one last time, and remembered how she had seen him out in the car that day. The day her sister died. The day that man raped her. The day Jack Spade had just sat by and watched.

Cordelia spit on Jack’s corpse before turning around, and heading toward the door. She took two steps when suddenly something grabbed her shoulder. She stood frozen to the spot, cold chills running all over her body. The only thing that was behind her was a dead man. Nothing should have been able to sneak up behind her. Then tears rolled down her cheeks as she heard the voice of Jack Spade saying:

“I wish you could remember this moment as much as I will.”

#8 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

Got started today. Hopefully I'll have it done and turned in by this weekend.

#9 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@dngn4774: You're a 100% right about the research. That was the reason I didn't enter the last Character Creation Contest even though I was invited. I had source material, but by the time I knew about it, I didn't have enough time to come up with something that I would have been happy with. This time around though, cbishop has come up with a contest that gives a writer like me some breathing room. ^_^ Also, about the getting in trouble with the fanbase, that's actually happened to me before over on FF.net, and believe me I don't want to go through that again.

@impurestcheese: Well then I believe you probably had as much exposure to her as anyone else. Her role was so minute it was barely noticeable. The character didn't even get a real name, and her development was completely halted due the New 52, so like my other beloved character (Kitrina) Lynx is almost completely open to interpretation. To sort of take from dngn's comment, she's a D-Lister, so does this make me the King of the D-Listers? :P

@batkevin74: Now you have me curious, wondering where the first Lynx appeared.

@the_impersonator: Thanks for the warning. You're not the first person to tell me this, but I personally don't censor anything. That's not me being arrogant, just that it doesn't feel right when I have to muck up the flow of the writing that way. I've had conversations with the mods about this before, and I've made it clear to them that I only use swear words when it's appropriate to use them, and that I'm going to write the character in such a way that I would perceive them to act. Besides that, thanks for reading, and I'm glad you liked it.

@joygirl: To be honest, to me this whole chapter felt weird while I was writing it. The part with O'Neil was very tricky because I couldn't always figure out just how I wanted that whole scene to happen, so thanks for pointing that stuff out. (By the way, what do you mean by detached? Do you mean that part with O'Neil?)

#10 Posted by Delphic (1467 posts) - - Show Bio

@wildvine: It is and it isn't. @delphic: will correct me if I'm wrong but roughly Kitrina's origin was the 4-parter for DCM and this continues from that about a year later. DCM past, Sensational future.

That pretty much sums it up. Kitrina's timeline split into two different paths at the end of "Tis the Season". On Earth Mayhem (DC Mayhem) Kitrina left Gotham, got on a boat, was shot, saved from the brink of death by Ocean Master, and is now in the hand of the Amazons. On Earth Sensational (DC Sensational) Kitrina stayed in Gotham, and eventually ends up founding the Gotham City Sirens.