I try to finish games, but more often than not a lack of time to commit to the game, and the arrival of something new will distract me from it. I'm currently on my 7th attempt to finish Dragon Age Origins.
Delphic's forum posts
@2099man: I think he's still open. How soon could you have something up? Also you do realize that for DC Mayhem there is a trial factor, where you must write a story arc consisting of a minimum of three issues, and you can only use three major characters in that story. Are you okay with that?
@abdullahzubair: Gotham is currently closed off due to the large amount of Bat based stories we have already. I do not know about Shazam, Cyborg, or Beast Boy
@avenging_x_bolt: See, you can do it! This was a pretty good read over all, but it could have done with a little proofreading. You have a few errors with typos and some misplaced wording, so I would advise looking over your work before posting it, and correcting mistakes that you see right off. Stuff like correcting comma splices, and sentence structure will come as you gain more experience.
Now the one thing I felt was a bit "wonky" was your dialogue. Now I understand that when it comes to step-parents, some kids don't call them "mom" or "dad", but they don't talk to them the way that Tim was talking to Dana. It read to me like Tim was talking to a girlfriend, so it felt a little strange while reading that. Also in the actual text the way the internal monologue that Tim had going felt like Tim had feelings for Dana, so unless that was your intention then I suggest re-thinking the approach to their relationship.
Other than that, great job, I'm very impressed with your effort. Keep writing, because practice makes perfect. I'm looking forward to more.