Peter-There’s just one secret I feel I have to share with you–I did not care for Watchmen.

Lois-What?!?

Peter-Did not care for Watchmen. (Lois-Ugh?)

Chris-How can you even say that, dad?

Peter-Did-didn’t like it.

Lois-Peter, it’s so good, it’s like the perfect comic book. (Peter-eh, the…)

Peter-I, this is what everyone always says. Whenever they say, it’s like “o my…”

Chris-Dave Gibbons, John Higgins, (Peter-I) I mean you never see (Peter-Listen) ALAN MOORE!!

Peter-I know ?#%&*?! fine, fine writer, did not like the book.

Brian-Why not?

Peter-Did not-could not get into it.

Lois-Explain yourself. (Peter-It) What didn’t you like about it?

Peter-It insists upon itself, Lois.

Lois-What?

Peter-It insists upon itself.

Lois-What does that even mean?

Chris-’Cause it has a valid point, SEVERAL of them, to make, IT’S INSISTING!

Peter-It’s got a really bleak atmosphere, takes forever getting in, you spend nearly 10 and a half pages, and then–you know, I can’t even get through it, I can’t even finish the book, I’ve never even read the ending.

Chris-YOU’VE NEVER READ THE ENDING?!?!?

Stewie-W-well, how can you even say you don’t like it if you haven’t given it a chance?

Lois-I agree with Stewie, it’s not really fair. (Chris-It’s outrageous.)

Peter-I have tried on many separate occasions to get through it, and I…I get to the part where the blue naked guy and the lady are on Mars, (Lois-YEAH! It’s a great scene) and he…(Lois-I love that part)…it’s NOT a great part…(Chris-It’s been noted in every annal) I have NO IDEA what they’re getting at, it’s like they’re trying to sneak a–that’s where I lose interest and put the book down.

Lois-You know what Peter?

Chris-THEY’RE BEING METAPHYSICAL AND PHILOSOPHICAL!!!

Lois-The conversation they’re having has a lot of subtle meanings, something you don’t concieve very well nor understand.

Peter-I love Mark Gruenwald’s Squadron Supreme–that is my answer to that statement.

Lois-Exactly.

Peter-Well, there you go.

Lois-Whatever.

Chris-I like that book too.