Guys writing female characters (and vice versa, to an extent). A recurring issue, and Joy basically hit it on the head while I was sleeping. But it'll probably get lost in WC in short order. And while this thread may go under, I feel this would be a nice place to put it so at least if someone stumbles across this thread they might maybe perchance happen to see it.
Guys, when in doubt, I think you can safely take Greg Rucka's advice.
The answer to all of these questions is the same, fundamentally. One does not write a "female" character any more than one writes a "male" character. One writes character, and character is derived from many, many different components, gender being just one of them. Education, background, childhood, religion, sexual orientation and experience, unique history - all of these things influence character, and the writer's job is to present the whole package in the form of an individual. The problem isn't that writers forget they're writing one gender or another, it's that they do so without due consideration for the factors. To write any character, one must inhabit their life, evaluate it, and then see both through their character's bias, and objectively.
By the same token, sexy is not exploitative, and exploitation is dishonest. Reverse that chain and you can see that, whoever you are writing, if you are honest about them, fair to them, and allow them their moments of brilliance, you can create that sexiness without it becoming pandering. Sexy is not a visual trait - that's titillation. Cheesecake, beefcake, those are entirely visual matters. What makes someone sexy - what makes anyone sexy, in my opinion - is less how they look than how they do. Competence is sexy. Capability is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Smart is sexy. A character who clearly embodies these traits in some capacity or another is a character who is going to be attractive.
Bending over to pick up a dropped pen with your ass high in the air isn't sexy, that's just a butt shot. We confuse arousing with sexy in the same way we confuse strength with cruelty. A strong character isn't, by definition, a mean one, but the confusion between the two has lead to a shorthand where the attempt to depict a female character as "strong" translates to "bitch." They're not the same. Strength is part of character, as well - those characters who know what they want, know what they're willing to do to achieve those goals, and who rise again and again against opposition are, by definition, strong.
There are individual differences. We've had female writers who wrote characters that were extremely sexual and unabashed and totally out there about it, and both writer and character were female. That's not everyone's cup of tea, but for them it just was what they do. And they're fine. People like that exist in the world. There are women who love sex and who can be just as (pardon) horny as any man. And there are those who devote more concerted efforts so that isn't the thing one thinks of when they think of them (or their character, if we bring it back to the RP aspect).
So, there isn't really a rule, but if you want a rule that'll (maybe) keep you from writing a character you see as exploitative or a stereotypical, Greg Rucka should work. I endorse him. I love him. You should too.
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