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SNIKT! WHY DON'T WOLVERINE'S CLAWS HEAL THE WOUNDS HE MAKES?

By Cervantes September 11, 2011 30 Comments

Not like I could do more than pose you to death, since X-Men don't kill, yet...

Bear with me, people! Granted, he will have a different blood type than most people he slices up. (unless he's type O, I don't know, where should I go, to get the info? Blood Bureau? Can't stop this flow, OH NO...) And the foreign cells may be targeted by the victim's body. But given the questionable science of "healing factor," it seems almost like a mutant energy revivifying field -- especially now where he can regenerate from practically nothing. He's come a long way...

Why'd I kill when I coulda wounded? And why am I STILL sucha wuss?

I love you Emma. Maybe it's cause I couldn't cut you in diamond form... I don't want you to change. Stay like this FOREVER.

(Incidentally, when he regenerates from just a few cells, he should lose his mind or at least his memories when that happens; but in current continuity, I guess his soul won't leave his body no matter what, somehow renewing these features for him. This is more evidence that there is some field that targets his blood at work)

My blood could do all that?

Now where WERE we? Oh yeah, killin' vill'ins on X-Force!

So I ask you, is it too outlandish a suggestion that Wolverine's BLOOD, spilled onto his blades as they SNIKT! through his skin, enters the wounds he creates, proceeds into the victim's body through the wounds, and HEALS THEM?

I say thee, NAY!

Cyc, no fair, I can't cut loose on you!

First you take Jean, and now my EMMA?! It's ON, ONe-Eye!

Good rematch, Cyc. You'll be fine; but my wounded heart won't heal... Emma...

Think of how useful this could be, considering that a big problem in the past was Wolverine can't use his bad @$$ claws on the bad guys 'CAUSE THEY'D DIE, and X-Men don't kill! (this was BX, "Before X-Force" where they are currently a kill squad targeting superbads) He could really cut loose, pun intended, and it's like, villain, heal thyself.

This won't heal, and neither will you, MEGATRON!! You @#%&in' Sentinel!

You've, uh, changed, Emma. But I'd never cut on you, and ah won't quit on you. Hel-lo. Is it me You're Loo-kin' for...?

You could also buy back the killing he's done so far -- ARE THEY REALLY DEAD? Having been revivified by Wolverine's healing factor (I would have this be a one slice, one healing deal -- not a permanent acquisition of the H.F.), are they out for revenge and a chance to experiment on him as DRUG X???

FU, FDA!

Maybe this'll heal you, Doc -- quit yer belly-achin'!

Wolverine could be good again, which would make his mentoring of the X-Teens less awkward, morally:

JUBILEE: I just don't know how long I can fight my desire for human blood, Wolvie! I've been watching the Twilight movies like a friggin' zombie, but nothing seems to help...

WOLVERINE: Ehh, why not indulge in a blood breakfast? I gut people all the time -- waist deep in their blood, runnin' like a red river...

JUBILEE: Uh...

WOLVERINE: In fact, I'm going after that Edward guy -- you with me?

JUBILEE: Y-ES!

Read between the lines, haters!

Now, I know people will say you can't just wish this and make it so. But having researched Peter Pan lore and ancient rituals, I've foudn that WE CAN get Wolverine...

BACK TO BAD@##

If all the Viners out there just clap their claws together and say "I BELIEVE IN HEALING!" Wolverine will LIVE!

...as a more interesting character! (maybe not in continuity, though...:P)

Emma and me, we're an us! Where's the Wemma or Emmerine threads on the Vine, you @#$%s! Our love is a battlefield, and my heart is always hostage...

30 Comments

Cervantes

Sigourney Weaver should be a ghostbuster in the new movie - she and Melissa McCarthy. The Saturday Night Live cast, though, don't ...

SNIKT! WHY DON'T WOLVERINE'S CLAWS HEAL THE WOUNDS HE MAKES?

By Cervantes September 11, 2011 30 Comments