L.A.-Y-L.A. This call goes out to the streets...

I see my cat-like reflexes ain't enough ta get the job done. We need a higher power to save our sister from the streets L.A.-Y-L.A. from the oppression of the Siryn. You hear a Siryn on the streets, you run, fool, posse's on Broadway to get they hits on. But you shouldn't oughta mess with my pipe-hittin' ninjas of the night, we don't slop when it comes to trading blood for blood times ten, yo. But take a listen to a true great and vote straight for the femme that'd run with his crew 'cause she knows stuff, 'stead of crossin' the street away to wail her Siryn for the po-lice!

Layla M and her butterfly need your vote to rise up against Siryn's player-hater cry. Bust a 4 plus for Layla M an' a fo' minus for the one samplin' Black Canary's act here:

http://www.comicvine.com/forums/gen-discussion/1/take-a-point-add-a-point-x-factor-style/647878/

L.A.-Y-L.A. FOREVA

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Superman and Wonder Woman / Kingdom Come

Used to think Wonder Woman and Superman were a poor match, just because of her supernatural origin vs his extraterrestrial origin. But after seeing this Youtube video that reminded me of the Kingdom Come graphic novel, I am rethinking. And yes, I really enjoyed KC, but I don't like Alex Ross' style as much as Jim Lee or highly detailed styles (brace for impact, two seconds to hatesplosion from trolls :) Oh thank God, openminded readers!) -- just a style preference and I still enjoyed the art, as with the plow he pulls, etc.

But back to these two -- one of the delights of the Justice League: Unlimited show was seeing the two of them deal with threats, although they never had many team-ups. I think I got the biggest laugh out of the Wonderbabies episode because of how Batman and Wonder Woman got on in it as kids, with Superman clueless. But when you think about it, they make so much more sense together because of how exotic their powers seem to each other -- there is something for each of them to admire about the other through the long centuries ahead for both of them.

Both are powerhouses who love others first and foremost. Whether you cal it Kalana or Dianel (do the math...) they make quite a team, neither quite able to fathom the other, but they're both from separate worlds trying to make their way in ours.

Maybe it's why Superboy and Wondergirl worked so well -- hey, no boos!

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Battle of the Batmobiles

A new show is pitting the Tim Burton movie Batmobile against the classic Adam West Batmobile. And Marisha has to wash the winner's car...

I knew who'd win!

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Why Young Justice Doesn't Train on Treadmills... FAILS!

One of the biggest disappointments any comic fan can have of shows or issues is the LACK of training sequences! Seriously, we love this stuff -- but it gets eschewed in favor of battles that don't mean a lot because there has been no training and no plan of attack that can then go haywire. Or training accidents, or new powers developing... oh well.

And most importantly, no TREADMILL FAILS! Hel-LO Megan! << chorus of boos and handgrenades, Cervantes offers the video as appeasement, bread and circuses for the people of the Vine... >>

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Sexist Comic Art the Fault of... ARTISTS?

I was responding to HexThis's forum thread The Month DC Brought Sexy Back...Sorta. and realized it was going to be a text assault, so to the blogmobile!

See Hex's thread for this and other examples

I'm going to surprise everyone and say I think most of the fault (maybe 37%, with 33% avid male gawkers, and 30% being editors who don't ask them to back it off even when it gets ludicrous) is the MALE ARTISTS!

Might as well be an overcoat compared to the comics...

I was into art big time years back, and what's on the mind is soon on the page (some of us outgrow that but I'm guessing most DON'T) in a way it isn't in other media. TV, movies, theater - some person has to embody the concept, so that person has a bit of veto over your fevered imaginings. So no spandex in the X-Men movies (and January Jones wasn't [as] in danger of catching her death of cold in her Frost couture), failed attempts at a panted Wonder Woman TV show (the art gods weren't havin' that!), and Lady Death and Vampirella movies mercifully unattempted. But in comics, your fevered imaginings ARE that person, which is why even in relatively conservative times there have been skimpy and sexual images, although mainly for villainesses in the distant past. Then there was Emma, then Fables, and X-Women and the wheels came off the Comportment Express. And yet, the comics market has been shrinking as fast as the hemlines -- and waistlines -- of the women of DC and Marvel. Might this mean the fans are not at fault? If this was their doing, X-Women would be a miniseries, and the comics industry would still be trotting out comics in black bags for reasons other than preventing spoilers, if you catch my meaning. Could the artists be the problem?

Red Sonya gets a movie and I'm stuck at home polishing my sword...

Think I'm wrong? Consider... if you were going to boycott artists who overly sexualize female characters, which artists would you buy instead?

*cricket chirp*

Yeah, me too, Amanda is the only one I had off the top of my head. Pay her to give an art class to all the guys where she teaches the art of emotional expression through the face and body, that would really change things. Seriously - I was thinking of getting back into art and I bought some books on comic illustration of the human form. They call for women to be illustrated with arched backs or always curved in their poses to show them off to best advantage - can't post the stuff here (copyright!), but that's why so many women are like Bobble Head dolls, only Bobble Hips! (See Miss Marvel's tete a tete with Norman Osborn above)

Plus it's freakin' lucrative. J Scott Campbell and others like Ed Benes can resell their female splash pages as posters, calendars... JSC can draw anything, but girls are fun and pay better.

Managed to find a postable Vampirella pic, no easy task...

I think Hex is right about everything, but I'd blame artists, not the fans. Morning Glories is awesome, X-Force, the Batgirl series that just ended, and they don't dip into overly sexy art. The readership wants it kinda hot but believe me 13-46 year old boys did not DEMAND the chest panel on Power Girl's uni, anymore than we demanded Jessica Rabbit. I can't even watch that movie, the misproportioning cheesecake hurts the eye; no I will not post an illo to prove my point, perv... Ooh! Another proof of my theory - remember the infamous money shot the artists added, and Disney had to quickly axe? We didn't ask for it! (Well, except you there in the back, yeah, the shifty one, we see you) The artists just liked drawing that stuff, and the editors aren't going to tell the artists that they've gone too far because they think that's what the "boys" reading comics want.

"Cool World" with Kim Basinger? Again, we didn't demand it, so it was a flop, he said, not having researched but lazily certain of his thesis...

Naw. Boys will be boys, but we want more real world, refined eye candy - bon-bons, not Butterfingers. We want a great, ongoing story with high stakes, a grand scale - okay, and I guess some fanservice, but not that much, and especially not of the mainline female heroes! Have the villainesses be dat, then the rolemodels can defeat them, symbolically overthrowing these tasteless harlots! Really, what's more likely - that Superman's cousin would wear a chest window, or some skank from space who wants to takeover the WORLD?! Then soccer moms could become comic moms, who chide their teens and tweens with "You're not going out dressed like that; why can't you be more like Power Girl? You look like that Kryptonian bounty huntress she took down last issue, running that bordell- uh, that boarding house on Epsilon-5... Now march straight to your room, and don't come out until you look like PG!"

But the real proof of my point comes from a dearly beloved animated series - Superman. In "The Main Man: Part Two" ... AAAH! Don't tell me the fans or the bosses were driving that crazy train when the wheels came off 6:53 into the below video...?!

92 Comments

SNIKT! WHY DON'T WOLVERINE'S CLAWS HEAL THE WOUNDS HE MAKES?


Not like I could do more than pose you to death, since X-Men don't kill, yet...
Bear with me, people! Granted, he will have a different blood type than most people he slices up. (unless he's type O, I don't know, where should I go, to get the info? Blood Bureau? Can't stop this flow, OH NO...) And the foreign cells may be targeted by the victim's body. But given the questionable science of "healing factor," it seems almost like a mutant energy revivifying field -- especially now where he can regenerate from practically nothing. He's come a long way... 
 
Why'd I kill when I coulda wounded? And why am I STILL sucha  wuss?     

I love you Emma. Maybe it's cause I couldn't cut you in diamond form... I don't want you to change. Stay like this FOREVER.     
(Incidentally, when he regenerates from just a few cells, he should lose his mind or at least his memories when that happens; but in current continuity, I guess his soul won't leave his body no matter what, somehow renewing these features for him. This is more evidence that there is some field that targets his blood at work) 
 
My blood could do all that?

Now where WERE we? Oh yeah, killin' vill'ins on X-Force!
So I ask you, is it too outlandish a suggestion that Wolverine's BLOOD, spilled onto his blades as they SNIKT! through his skin, enters the wounds he creates, proceeds into the victim's body through the wounds, and HEALS THEM?  
 
I say thee, NAY! 
 
Cyc, no fair, I can't cut loose on you!

First you take Jean, and now my EMMA?! It's ON, ONe-Eye!          

Good rematch, Cyc. You'll be fine; but my wounded heart won't heal... Emma...     
 
Think of how useful this could be, considering that a big problem in the past was Wolverine can't use his bad @$$ claws on the bad guys 'CAUSE THEY'D DIE, and X-Men don't kill! (this was BX, "Before X-Force" where they are currently a kill squad targeting superbads) He could really cut loose, pun intended, and it's like, villain, heal thyself. 
This won't heal, and neither will you, MEGATRON!! You @#%&in' Sentinel!
 
You've, uh, changed, Emma. But I'd never cut on you, and ah won't quit on you. Hel-lo. Is it me You're Loo-kin' for...?          

You could also buy back the killing he's done so far -- ARE THEY REALLY DEAD? Having been revivified by Wolverine's healing factor (I would have this be a one slice, one healing deal -- not a permanent acquisition of the H.F.), are they out for revenge and a chance to experiment on him as DRUG X???  
 
FU, FDA!

Maybe this'll heal you, Doc -- quit yer belly-achin'!
 
Wolverine could be good again, which would make his mentoring of the X-Teens less awkward, morally:  
JUBILEE: I just don't know how long I can fight my desire for human blood, Wolvie! I've been watching the Twilight movies like a friggin' zombie, but nothing seems to help... 
 
WOLVERINE: Ehh, why not indulge in a blood breakfast? I gut people all the time -- waist deep in their blood, runnin' like a red river... 
 
JUBILEE: Uh... 
 
WOLVERINE: In fact, I'm going after that Edward guy -- you with me? 
 
JUBILEE: Y-ES! 
 
Read between the lines, haters!
 
Now, I know people will say you can't just wish this and make it so. But having researched Peter Pan lore and ancient rituals, I've foudn that WE CAN get Wolverine... 
 
BACK TO BAD@##
If all the Viners out there just clap their claws together and say "I BELIEVE IN HEALING!" Wolverine will LIVE!  

...as a more interesting character! (maybe not in continuity, though...:P) 
 
Emma and me, we're an us! Where's the Wemma or Emmerine threads on the Vine, you @#$%s! Our love is a battlefield, and my heart is always hostage...
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Anne Hathaway: I Should Be Catwoman!

I'm finally Catwoman and some troll announces it should be the chick from "House"?! The news floored me. 
 

So this "Cervantes" thinks he can talk up a rival actress as Catwoman and get away with it?! I had the site talk to him, so in the interests of fairness, he is now running the truth:   
  
I won the role, I should be Catwoman!    
  
Now, I know some of my roles have made me seem a little... cutesy, but is that any excuse for doubting me in the role of a tight-bodiced sexpot? I'm sorry, but I just had to take issue with the fandalism that's been done to my image as The Catwoman by Cervantes and his twisted fascination with that Olivia hussy! (See what I did there?) Thankfully, Comicvine saw my point and is giving me equal time through Cervantes's own screenname to let 'justice roll down like waters, righteousness like a mighty stream'! 
 
What? I gave up Catholicism, not the Bible... 
 
TOP TEN REASONS I SHOULD BE CATWOMAN: 
 
NUMBER 10:  
 
If the suit fits, you must aquit! Seriously, I'm on trial here? Fine, here's a photoshopped Lara Croft cosplay -- it's not like I can actually show you my paint-on Catsuit!
 
NUMBER 9: 
 

I'm weapons tested -- I can handle myself. 
 
NUMBER 8: 
 
A voluptuous thief with sexy countermeasures to overcome? Been there, rocked that! 
 
NUMBER 7: 
 


I look good in black... 
 
NUMBER 6: 


...but I love the purple cat. Hope Nolan does a 180 and takes this approach...   
 
NUMBER 5: 
 

I'm in touch with my feline side; no petting...
 
NUMBER 4: 
 


I straddle the darkness and ride all night, just like the Cat -- and enough on the goggles, already! They're for riding -- when they're up, I'll make plenty of cat eyes at you... 
 
NUMBER 3: 
 

 
"Get Smart" had a little more action than the audience expected, because I can handle it; now I'm bustin' stuntmen and mannequins upside the face on set -- so you know I'm the real deal. 
 
NUMBER 2: 
 

If Olivia wants to be Julie Newmar, I'm going to try my best to pull off a little bit of Audrey's magic. 
 
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON I, ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, SHOULD BE CATWOMAN: 
 


    
    
    
So I can bring the art of Adam Hughes to life. Purely selfless -- take that, Olivia! 
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