cbishop

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#1  Edited By cbishop
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cbishop

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@waezi2: Enjoying the story as always. I've gotten used to reading past certain types of mistakes, because I know you're dealing with a language barrier, but there's a few things that need fixing in this one:

  • f%cker is not allowed, even censored. Mods are kind of cracking down on that rule. We can use "replacement words" though, so something like "frick, flark, fudge," etc. Probably easier to use another word. We can still use the censored "sh!t, s#!t," etc.
  • "Scam" is like a con. "Scram" means "get out of here." So you need "SCRAM" when the werewolf tells her to leave.
  • "discus" is a flat, round object thrown for competition. Cat and Fido want to "discuss" an alliance.
  • This might be language barrier on my part. What does it mean that Fido "blotted his teeth?" I'm not clear on whether "blotted" is the right word there. "Bared his teeth" maybe?
  • Cat "patted" Twist on the shoulder, not "padded."
  • "foster position?" I think maybe you're looking for "fetal position."

I was surprised that Red Fog had to get hit to be able to turn to mist. That didn't seem to be the case before, but meh, cool. It's funny that she actually did leave town. :)

Looking forward to the next one! :^D

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cbishop

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@geth: WOOT! Congratulations, Geth! Nice trophy. ;)

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cbishop

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cbishop

21178

Forum Posts

393973

Wiki Points

392

Followers

Reviews: 92

User Lists: 1268

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cbishop

21178

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Reviews: 92

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@turoksonofstone and @donovan_montgomery, this is real last minute, so may not reach you in time, but if you have time, can you read and cast a vote for your favorite? About 45 minutes left, give or take. Thanks. :)

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cbishop

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cbishop

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#8  Edited By cbishop

Thanks for stopping in! :^D

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cbishop

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@batkevin74: My point is if it's in enemy hands, it's not secured, no matter how under control it seems to be. (The nutters in Oregon need to be tear gassed and arrested for being dumba**es.) And your comparison to those nutters makes me want to see this fictitious siege end badly for them. lol

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