What's that I see? Another Character Creation Contest? Yep! Round 5!
Alright, folks, @wildvine won last time, but decided to bow out, because she couldn't be here to present the next contest (but she will be back in time to defend her title). So as winner by default, here I am, bringing you the next contest.
I think this contest has gotten pretty cool - each time, you guys and gals flex your muscles, come out swinging, and blow me away with the quality of your work, and it only improves from round to round. You've shown that you can take a general subject and turn it into something of your own - you all rock at that. So here's my challenge: can you take something a little more specific, and still hit a home run? Here's what I'm thinking:
General consensus seems to be that Batman has eclipsed Superman in popularity, because Batman just has way cooler villains, and I think Supergirl suffers from the same problem. So what've you got, writers? Can you come up with a villain to challenge Superman and/or Supergirl?
Rules:
#0) YOUR CHARACTER MUST BE PRESENTED IN A STORY! A character description is a fun teaser, but won't be counted as an entry!
1) Yes, this is the fan-fic forum, but for this contest, I want you to write a character that could legitimately show up in the DC Universe to challenge Superman or Supergirl. If we're writing characters with plausible roots in the DCU, we need to make peace now with the possibility that DC may come up with something similar in the future. Coincidence happens, people. So let it go and create your character. ;) Then put them in a story against Superman and/or Supergirl.
2) Your character has to be new. We are creating characters, not reformatting existing ones. However, that does not mean that your new character has no history with existing characters. That's okay.
3) Your character must have a name. If you can make Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong into an interesting character that's great, but name him Rama-Lama-Ding-Dong, so we all know who he is.
4) No alternate Earths Superman/Supergirl - it has to be the main DC Universe. Pre-New 52 is okay, because frankly, I'm not familiar with the New 52 Supes.
5) No evil twins. No enemy Kal or Kara from another universe, xerox ray, or whatever other silly way you could clone them.
6) Nothing and nobody goes to H'el. The character is too new, and we don't know enough about him. To connect a new character to H'el would mean too much speculation on the history and motivation of the H'el character. It would distract from your character, and make it near danged impossible to judge the quality of the idea.
7) Standard disclaimer: we have no claim on anything owned by DC Comics, and we're not making a claim here. We are writing fan-fic, having fun with exploring an idea, and that's it.
8) Word count: 1,100 words maximum (because someone had trouble with the 1,000 word limit last time). No minimum.
9) Deadline: January 16th. That's 3 weeks, instead of the standard 2, but I figure this coming week is going to be crazy for a lot of people, with New Year's and all, so extra week. Plus, that'll allow 1 week for the voting thread, and 1 week for the next contest to get posted, to get us to the end of January.
10) Edit your work. Your first post does not have to be your final post. You've got 3 weeks. If you post the first day, you have the rest of that time to tweak your piece however you see fit. Make use of it.
11) If I miss anyone, please invite them. I don't know a ton of people in the fan-fic forum (I went through previous contests to get most of those below).
Alright, it's 11:01pm, I'm callin' it. Deadline has expired. No new entries. I'm going to bed. Barring natural disaster or internet/computer meltdown, the voting thread will be posted tomorrow, January 17th.
Alright, it's 11:01pm, I'm callin' it. Deadline has expired. No new entries. I'm going to bed. Barring natural disaster or internet/computer meltdown, the voting thread will be posted tomorrow, January 17th.
Not gonna lie - I laughed out loud, a lot. My quibble with this is that I said it had to be plausible within the DCU. No way you're killing Superman in the DCU. But okay, you got carried away. The Songify/ Dayum Drops vid was hilarious... and you've showed it to me before! Nice addition.
wr3h - I haven't checked back on the thread yet - do I have an entry from you? Hm? ;)
@Allie_Ho: I liked your story. It needs a lot of grammar work - in places, it almost lost me - but I liked it. What does Gallia's name come from?
Who knew sneaking into the house of a female, teenager superhero would be so easy? I thought they would at least get a guardian. I floated up to the window of her bedroom, and unsurprisingly it was open. “Typical teenagers, they always like to sleep in cool bedrooms.” I opened it, there was no sound which it had well oiled hinges. “That’s close.”
I moved into the room, luckily for me, she was sleeping in the room. I prepare myself. “Kara…Kara…”I call while hanging over her face. She shrieked and jumped out of her bed. I resisted the urge to laugh at her reaction. “Who are you and what do you want?” She demanded in the most furious reaction one of the world’s most powerful superhero in bunny pajamas can muster. I gave her a wave, “Oh nothing much, I just want you to be part of an experiment.” She thoroughly scanned my armor and grimaced.
“Experiments, you mean kidnap me and dissect me if you already know I’m an alien. I don’t want to do it.” Her answer was nothing unexpected.
“Well it’s okay; I can arrange it at morning.” I replied.
“No, you don’t understand, I don’t want to do it. Ever.” She began to flare up; I calmly shake her comment off.
“You see, you don’t have a choice. From the moment you talked to me, you were already in it, and to get out of.” Her eyes bulged and she gave me a look of death. “I can’t do that because I don’t want to.” She paused for a second and went at me. I dodged her attack and jumped through the window I came in and threw myself in a somersault.
I landed on the air with shards of the window sticking to parts of my armour, Who cares when you have a furious, Kryptonian girl going after you, a few glass shards don’t seem so mighty in comparison. She was taking a while to get out. I couldn’t wait to see her. But just when I thought she was not going to come out that way, a streak headed towards me. I dodged it again and was rewarded with a sonic boom to my face.
I let her attack me for a few times without and then started what I want to do.
“You’re impatient, hot tempered and a very powerful person but what you have is just sheer insolence and a great amount of ignorance.”
She stopped her next attack to backtalk, “I know that and I don’t care.”
I told her, “You don’t understand, those things are your characteristics but it will make you easier to be killed.”
“So what, I’m still standing.” Kara retorted. I didn’t give her a chance to make that true. I flew towards her shoulders and using a judo throw plummet her down towards the streets below.
Kara didn’t bother with staying down, she flew back towards me in a classical “I will kill you” expression, she gave me a few good kicks and punches at first but I flipped the tables on her when I bound her hand and legs in cuffs that she can’t break.
She twisted and turned to the limits of her physiology.
“Alright, alright, I’ll join your freaking experiment, what do you want to do?” She gritted her teeth in reluctant submission. She looked like if she was in a bear trap.
“What I want to do? I just want you to break your chains.” My request took her by surprise. “Me, break those?” She was trying to digest the command, I have no doubts that she was on the n degree of shock. After a minute she was quiet, a sign she was thinking about how to break her chains, I stayed close to her in a fake probing stance.
Her forehead was filled with deep creases and a quick glimpse revealed to me the severe hate she had for me. I acted neutral but with that look I felt a faint pang of pity and disappointment for her.
Subject has high likelihood of expiring.
I pulled out my wild card, all the secrets that I had known about her. “Kara Zor-El, you can try to think you’re like your cousin but what do you do, you always escape like him, whether it’s the destruction of your world, your home or your parents, you never faced something real because people never let you.”
Kara shook involuntarily as she really is losing control. She fired an intense ruby blast of her heat vision, which blasted through the cuffs like a hot knife through butter and it also melted the cuffs and seared her skin with an angry hiss. What she didn’t notice is she had blasted my protective layer and when she noticed me, I was a blue misty blur. She stood in horror with whispers of “It was an accident” repeating. As I say, typical teenage excuses for any trouble.
I gave her a quick word. “Experiment completion.” A multicolored energy spray with the sound “Brssshhh!” followed, I fell down to earth with thick smoke.
I felt deathly silent, my eyes looking at the back of me, which was ironically has a picture of her. “The pulse is gone.” She flew down to me and she kneaded down and in a shaky, almost voice declared, “I-II killed a kid.” She crawled over my red-filmed eyes with the resemblance of blood and my hands on my sides, one open and. Her brine tears fell beside the edges of my mouth. Revolting. She organized my raven hair and then lifted me up with a fireman’s carry. I was relieved and smiled; she was oblivious.
“I have to get her to a hospital.” She tilted her head as best as she can with me, leaving my clutched hand in her chest as if she’s holding someone that she loved. As she took off, I moved my hand slightly. She flinched lightly but gave. I gave a big yank and used my clasped hand to stab her right in the heart. “You’ll have a few seconds to talk before my mixture wipes your memory of me and what happened and you go black.” “You’re dead, you didn’t have any heartbeat.” “That’s true but I haven’t told you everything. Hi, my name is Gallia.” Her eyes rolled back and I held her.
Subject fully capable of pain but with future adjustments, may be successful in Project Damocles.
I deposed her back on her bed. I gave her a farewell slap.
His voice was chanting bloodthirsty threats, catching up to the man of steel.
“I cannot fly any faster...arg..my blood is heavy, I can feel it weighing me down, the Kryptonite Nanobots slowly turning me human... I am slowing down, I have to get to Bruce before the transformation is over, No time, no help, Bruce is over 200miles away... This is too dangerous, flying at Mach 1 through my city...“
"Superman! Come out and play... Superman! “The Inquisitor said joyfully. He took out a device and pressed it.
"ARRGG" The pain...I cannot...I cannot FLY! My powers...I must carry on!
" I can HEAR you superman, This little device, fun isn't it, It lets me turn whatever powers I want to turn off through the use of my Nanobots pulsing through your kyrptonian veins, very fun indeed" He said with an triumphant tone.
Superman was to the Inquisitor what a deer is to a human, he is prey...
“I have no laser vision, no flight, No speed. I only have my strength... And my voice.
“BBBRRUUUCCEEE! “
The words shattered all windows in a mile radius; all car alarms went off and chimed. Every dog barked. The world was aware – Superman was dying.
- Close scene.
A man called Dayum was walking out of his Five guys, he was unaware his car was just about to be demolished by superman being flung through his car, the last recording of his life was this
“YOU MADE ME KILL SOMEONE!” Superman screamed, he went to punch his enemy but soon become crippled with pain as the Inquisitor turned his strength off. Superman was weak; he picked himself of the ground and starred into the man’s eyes. The Inquisitor lifted a gun and planted it onto Superman’s forehead, the onlookers cried. The shot ended in silence. The man of steel was a mortal, dead human.
The Inquisitor turned around and saw the JLA, lead by Batman.
“You will pay for this...” Bruce Wayne said with vengeance.
His voice was chanting bloodthirsty threats, catching up to the man of steel.
“I cannot fly any faster...arg..my blood is heavy, I can feel it weighing me down, the Kryptonite Nanobots slowly turning me human... I am slowing down, I have to get to Bruce before the transformation is over, No time, no help, Bruce is over 200miles away... This is too dangerous, flying at Mach 1 through my city...“
"Superman! Come out and play... Superman! “The Inquisitor said joyfully. He took out a device and pressed it.
"ARRGG" The pain...I cannot...I cannot FLY! My powers...I must carry on!
" I can HEAR you superman, This little device, fun isn't it, It lets me turn whatever powers I want to turn off through the use of my Nanobots pulsing through your kyrptonian veins, very fun indeed" He said with an triumphant tone.
Superman was to the Inquisitor what a deer is to a human, he is prey...
“I have no laser vision, no flight, No speed. I only have my strength... And my voice.
“BBBRRUUUCCEEE! “
The words shattered all windows in a mile radius; all car alarms went off and chimed. Every dog barked. The world was aware – Superman was dying.
- Close scene.
A man called Dayum was walking out of his Five guys, he was unaware his car was just about to be demolished by superman being flung through his car, the last recording of his life was this
“YOU MADE ME KILL SOMEONE!” Superman screamed, he went to punch his enemy but soon become crippled with pain as the Inquisitor turned his strength off. Superman was weak; he picked himself of the ground and starred into the man’s eyes. The Inquisitor lifted a gun and planted it onto Superman’s forehead, the onlookers cried. The shot ended in silence. The man of steel was a mortal, dead human.
The Inquisitor turned around and saw the JLA, lead by Batman.
“You will pay for this...” Bruce Wayne said with vengeance.
...I'm thinking later tomorrow. a) I have a mid-morning doctor appointment (life insurance check-up, nothing major). b) I'm hoping @wildvine: gets her entry in, to defend her win <taps foot>. Or maybe that Pyrogram guy will enter. <.<
So... 8pm-ish?
I know, I should have defined it in the OP, but oops, next time (if there is one). I'm hoping for a couple of more entries. @wildvine really should defend her win - just sayin'.
I may have time to post them. I might. No planning, Just of the top of my head.
...I'm thinking later tomorrow. a) I have a mid-morning doctor appointment (life insurance check-up, nothing major). b) I'm hoping @wildvine: gets her entry in, to defend her win <taps foot>. Or maybe that Pyrogram guy will enter. <.<
So... 8pm-ish?
I know, I should have defined it in the OP, but oops, next time (if there is one). I'm hoping for a couple of more entries. @wildvine really should defend her win - just sayin'.
@Mr_Winchester: Nice entry. Since he talks to Dr. Silas Stone in his origin, I'm wondering if you knew that Neutron was one of the Fearsome Five, back in the days of New Teen Titans? Just a funny coincidence to me. This is clearly a separate character. (The comic Neutron was like a modern day Human Bomb, with the appearance of an early Wildfire [see right].) I like the connection to Helspont - very cool. This could use some very minor tweaks on spelling and punctuation - looks like the kinds of typos that happen when you're typing fast. ;)
Justice has been corrupted for far too long in our world. The very word justice has been manipulated and contorted into something foul and unworthy. I've seen many fools acting as ambassadors to this failed notion of justice, but none a bigger fool than Superman. He has indeed won the battle of hearts and minds on earth; and as such has planted the notion that evil scumbags deserve to live like the rest of us. It was those evil scumbags who left 200 children orphans in metropolis within the last 3 years. It appears Superman seems to care more about the life of criminals than that of innocents, yet the people of the world are too blind to see that.
No more. I will tolerate this sickness no more. I will usher in a change, a dawning of an age of harmony where only innocence is preserved in the world. For years I dreamed of a scenario in which I would remove from this world the scum which have brought nothing but death and dismay; a “what if” scenario if you will. But now…now I have the power to do something, to make change and bring absolute peace.
Like most of the gifted individuals on Earth, I did not ask for this power; it found its way to me. These gauntlets which I wear grant me power beyond my scope of comprehension. Upon first wearing them I was presented with vivid visions of an alien being by the name of Helspont. From what I can recall, he had created these gauntlets as means of being recognized as a force of dominance. He had gathered unusual beings from distant planets and forced them to create his will in the form of these very gauntlets I wear today; however one of the beings had deliberately attempted to sabotage the final stages of the gauntlets creation. The result was a super nova from which only Helspont and the gauntlets had survived. As a result of the explosion the gauntlets had been propelled towards earth at immense speeds and found their way in my garden of all places.
I am regularly meeting with Dr Silas Stone in private; he is a good natured man with a brilliant mind. I simply showed him my gauntlets and he agreed to meet in private and study them. He has been studying what exactly I am capable of and to what extent. Dr Stone tells me my gauntlets are connected to and derive energy from the primordial star (the first ever star created) via a temporal field going back to when it was actually made. The rest of theory I do not care to remember as it is beyond me.
What I do know is that I have control over molecular density and gravitational fields to a vast and as of yet immeasurable degree. This allows me to alter the density of my molecules to gain invincibility but to also increase my physical strength. Dr Stone has said that based on energy readings, I am able to alter my molecular weight to that of at least 10 neutron stars, though he has warned me not to do so as the immense gravitational field would result in the implosion of Earth. I have been undertaking various combat courses designed by Dr Stone all of which have felt limited to say the least, though the training has revealed to me that I can generate powerful quasar blasts and can also fly. I wanted to test my flight ability further, a venture which leads me to discover I can survive unaided in space and that I can fly fast, incredibly fast. I can fly from the Earth to the Moon and back in the blink of an eye.
I feel incredible, I am incredible. I have transcended beyond there mere existence of a man and become the true Superman. Finally I have the power to do something, to make a change. My biggest obstacle is Superman, if I can somehow convince him to…no, the time for words has since long gone. Too many have died because of his leniency. He must be removed and so the poison from the minds of the people will also be removed. I’ve thought of numerous ways I can stop him but I must admit my favourite option is where I make him feel helpless; I remove his ability to fly and alter his molecular density to make his punches no harder than that of a feather. I've seen his heat vision in action and it should be a little more than a nuisance to me. Then and only then he will know the true meaning of suffering once I continue to slowly beat him out of existence.
NO! What is the matter with me? I feel as though I am constantly battling my thoughts so as not to do something I will regret. But…I…I feel his thoughts lingering in my mind, Helspont; it must be there’s no other explanation he’s trying to control me, my body, my thoughts…my powers. I can feel his emotions, his hatred for Superman.
…Superman that false hope for mankind, he remains the only obstacle before I can conquer this feeble planet and make it mine to rule. All will be left to perish by my hand; Earth will be a gleaming example of my accomplishments that will continue across the universe. Such is the will of Hels…I…I am not Helspont. I…am…NEUTRON! I refuse to be influenced by that lowly monster Helspont…however we do share a similar obstacle…
Worth the wait man, it was really interesting. Is it midnight tomorrow it ends?
Thank you, sir. And no, I'm thinking later tomorrow. a) I have a mid-morning doctor appointment (life insurance check-up, nothing major). b) I'm hoping @wildvine: gets her entry in, to defend her win <taps foot>. Or maybe that Pyrogram guy will enter. <.<
Wiping blood from her mouth, Supergirl scowled at her attacker and asked, “Lady, before I get up from here and knock you over the moon, do you want to explain that?”
The woman barely smirked. “You wear the crest of the House of El. Are you trying to draw the attention of an eradicator?”
“The Eradicator is gone,” Kara answered, “but how would you know about him at all?”
The woman was taken aback. “‘Him?’It.” She raised an eyebrow. “You talk like there’s only one.”
“There was only one.” It was more hope than surety.
The woman leaned in, looking stern, small crow’s-feet betraying her age. “Don’t act naïve, girl. Are you trying to tell me you know so little about our history, that you don’t know the full extent of your own ancestor’s technology?”
“‘Our…’?” Kara began, but the woman continued.
“Do you think only one of those devices could affect an entire planet? Of course there’s more than one. There were many – probably one for every one hundred thousand Kryptonians. Don’t bother with the math. It will make you cry.”
Supergirl searched her attacker’s face for some hint that she was lying. Her mind was like a supercomputer – she couldn’t help doing the math. If there was one eradicator for every hundred thousand Kryptonians, then that would mean… As Kara’s eyes went wide with horror, the woman’s flashed satisfaction. She smirked as she stood back up. Kara’s lip curled, and she lunged up and forward, only to fall again, everything in her wracked with pain.
“They call this ‘Kryptonite’ here, don’t they?” asked the woman, admiring the green, glowing rock she held in her hand. “Do you know why you’re vulnerable to this?” Kara picked herself up to her hands and knees, trembling. The woman looked at her and said, “Pay attention, girl. I asked you a question. Do you know why you’re vulnerable to this?” As she asked, she moved closer, and Kara writhed in pain.
Struggling to breathe, she managed, “B-be…cause…i-it’s…p-part…of…Kryp…ton.” Rapid, painful breaths followed every syllable.
“‘Because it’s part of Krypton.’ So the planet of your birth, that sustained you until its early demise, now threatens to kill you, just because you get near a piece of it? Does that make sense to you, dear?” Even pained, the perplexity showed on Supergirl’s face. The woman crouched back down next to her, on one knee. “I don’t want to kill you with this. Can we talk civilly without it?”
Her eyes spoke death, but Kara managed a quick nod of assent. The woman held the fragment a little closer to Supergirl’s face, causing her body to spasm violently. “The pain you are feeling now is not because of this rock. It is the fault of the eradicators.” With that, the Kryptonite leapt from the woman’s hand and disappeared. Kara looked up questioningly. “I keep it in a subspace pocket,” said the woman. “It’s a pretty reminder of home.”
She stood up and offered her hand. Kara ignored it, shakily regaining her feet on her own. She straightened, then immediately doubled over to throw up.
The woman continued, “To preserve the ‘purity’ of our race, Kem-L had the eradicators change everyone on the planet on a genetic level. This bound them to Krypton, so if they left, they would die, rather than bringing back ‘contaminating influences’ from other worlds and races. By the time Krypton felt this, it was too late, and all she could do was affect a slight change…”
Supergirl, still bent over, palms on her knees, held up a hand to stop the woman. She took a few deep breaths, regaining herself, and asked, “Krypton changed things?”
The woman answered, “Krypton was a living thing. She did what she could to save her inhabitants, reversing the polarity of the eradicator technovirus, making it so Kryptonians wouldn’t die if they left the planet, but only if they returned. So the closer you get to a piece of her, the more intense the pain, up to and including death. The strain of keeping it that way is what led to her demise.”
Supergirl still seemed dubious. “Krypton. Was alive.”
The older woman spoke with the patience a grandparent has for a child. “Oh, yes, dear. She had a heart and a spirit, and there was only one other like her in the entire universe. And when she died, he tracked her spirit’s progress until it settled at the center of the universe. Then he joined with her the only way he could, until he himself was gone.”
Supergirl didn’t react, except to say, “Uhh-huh,” then followed with, “So, if you’re Kryptonian, and the eradicators changed everyone on the planet, how come the Kryptonite didn’t hurt you?”
“Because I wasn’t on the planet, dear. I was in the Phantom Zone.”
“Why?”
“Because when the Science Council took over the planetary government, the Celestial Council was very quickly tried and convicted of ‘crimes against science.’ My own son carried out the sentence.”
“Your son? That’s not possible! It was…” Kara doubled over again as the Kryptonite reappeared in the woman’s hand.
The woman seethed, “Do not say his name to me.”
“Why are you doing this?” Kara asked, weakly.
“Revenge!” she shouted. “The Science Council dared to judge us! They imprisoned me!Shahara-Zod! The Storybearer! I kept the oral history and knowledge of Krypton alive! They decided they didn’t need me? They used my stories as the basis for Brainiac’s database!”
She cupped Kara’s chin in her hand. “I will teach my son the error of turning against me. I will destroy that mechanical mockery called Brainiac. And I thought it proper that the descendents of Kem-L, who designed the eradicators that brought about the destruction of Krypton, should learn what it is to deal with them firsthand.”
Kara responded lethargically, “What do you mean?”
A wild look flashed across the woman’s face, and she answered, “I mean I lured them to follow me, in order to bring them to you.”
“What? How many?” Supergirl asked as anxiously as her weakened state would allow.
The woman smiled cruelly. “Why, all of them, dear.” The shock on Kara’s face was palpable, but the woman cooed, “Oh, don’t worry yourself, dear. I intend to bring you help.” The fear didn’t leave Kara’s face. “I’m going to free our fellow Kryptonians from that infernal Phantom Zone.” She picked up the Kryptonite from beside her, adding, “Some of them won’t be vulnerable to this, which should help. Don’t you think?” She then rocketed away at super speed, leaving Supergirl to recover.
Let me know what you think, and remember, the deadline is tomorrow. >.> @wildvine ;]
Worth the wait man, it was really interesting. Is it midnight tomorrow it ends?
Wiping blood from her mouth, Supergirl scowled at her attacker and asked, “Lady, before I get up from here and knock you over the moon, do you want to explain that?”
The woman barely smirked. “You wear the crest of the House of El. Are you trying to draw the attention of an eradicator?”
“The Eradicator is gone,” Kara answered, “but how would you know about him at all?”
The woman was taken aback. “‘Him?’It.” She raised an eyebrow. “You talk like there’s only one.”
“There was only one.” It was more hope than surety.
The woman leaned in, looking stern, small crow’s-feet betraying her age. “Don’t act naïve, girl. Are you trying to tell me you know so little about our history, that you don’t know the full extent of your own ancestor’s technology?”
“‘Our…’?” Kara began, but the woman continued.
“Do you think only one of those devices could affect an entire planet? Of course there’s more than one. There were many – probably one for every one hundred thousand Kryptonians. Don’t bother with the math. It will make you cry.”
Supergirl searched her attacker’s face for some hint that she was lying. Her mind was like a supercomputer – she couldn’t help doing the math. If there was one eradicator for every hundred thousand Kryptonians, then that would mean… As Kara’s eyes went wide with horror, the woman’s flashed satisfaction. She smirked as she stood back up. Kara’s lip curled, and she lunged up and forward, only to fall again, everything in her wracked with pain.
“They call this ‘Kryptonite’ here, don’t they?” asked the woman, admiring the green, glowing rock she held in her hand. “Do you know why you’re vulnerable to this?” Kara picked herself up to her hands and knees, trembling. The woman looked at her and said, “Pay attention, girl. I asked you a question. Do you know why you’re vulnerable to this?” As she asked, she moved closer, and Kara writhed in pain.
Struggling to breathe, she managed, “B-be…cause…i-it’s…p-part…of…Kryp…ton.” Rapid, painful breaths followed every syllable.
“‘Because it’s part of Krypton.’ So the planet of your birth, that sustained you until its early demise, now threatens to kill you, just because you get near a piece of it? Does that make sense to you, dear?” Even pained, the perplexity showed on Supergirl’s face. The woman crouched back down next to her, on one knee. “I don’t want to kill you with this. Can we talk civilly without it?”
Her eyes spoke death, but Kara managed a quick nod of assent. The woman held the fragment a little closer to Supergirl’s face, causing her body to spasm violently. “The pain you are feeling now is not because of this rock. It is the fault of the eradicators.” With that, the Kryptonite leapt from the woman’s hand and disappeared. Kara looked up questioningly. “I keep it in a subspace pocket,” said the woman. “It’s a pretty reminder of home.”
She stood up and offered her hand. Kara ignored it, shakily regaining her feet on her own. She straightened, then immediately doubled over to throw up.
The woman continued, “To preserve the ‘purity’ of our race, Kem-L had the eradicators change everyone on the planet on a genetic level. This bound them to Krypton, so if they left, they would die, rather than bringing back ‘contaminating influences’ from other worlds and races. By the time Krypton felt this, it was too late, and all she could do was affect a slight change…”
Supergirl, still bent over, palms on her knees, held up a hand to stop the woman. She took a few deep breaths, regaining herself, and asked, “Krypton changed things?”
The woman answered, “Krypton was a living thing. She did what she could to save her inhabitants, reversing the polarity of the eradicator technovirus, making it so Kryptonians wouldn’t die if they left the planet, but only if they returned. So the closer you get to a piece of her, the more intense the pain, up to and including death. The strain of keeping it that way is what led to her demise.”
Supergirl still seemed dubious. “Krypton. Was alive.”
The older woman spoke with the patience a grandparent has for a child. “Oh, yes, dear. She had a heart and a spirit, and there was only one other like her in the entire universe. And when she died, he tracked her spirit’s progress until it settled at the center of the universe. Then he joined with her the only way he could, until he himself was gone.”
Supergirl didn’t react, except to say, “Uhh-huh,” then followed with, “So, if you’re Kryptonian, and the eradicators changed everyone on the planet, how come the Kryptonite didn’t hurt you?”
“Because I wasn’t on the planet, dear. I was in the Phantom Zone.”
“Why?”
“Because when the Science Council took over the planetary government, the Celestial Council was very quickly tried and convicted of ‘crimes against science.’ My own son carried out the sentence.”
“Your son? That’s not possible! It was…” Kara doubled over again as the Kryptonite reappeared in the woman’s hand.
The woman seethed, “Do not say his name to me.”
“Why are you doing this?” Kara asked, weakly.
“Revenge!” she shouted. “The Science Council dared to judge us! They imprisoned me!Shahara-Zod! The Storybearer! I kept the oral history and knowledge of Krypton alive! They decided they didn’t need me? They used my stories as the basis for Brainiac’s database!”
She cupped Kara’s chin in her hand. “I will teach my son the error of turning against me. I will destroy that mechanical mockery called Brainiac. And I thought it proper that the descendents of Kem-L, who designed the eradicators that brought about the destruction of Krypton, should learn what it is to deal with them firsthand.”
Kara responded lethargically, “What do you mean?”
A wild look flashed across the woman’s face, and she answered, “I mean I lured them to follow me, in order to bring them to you.”
“What? How many?” Supergirl asked as anxiously as her weakened state would allow.
The woman smiled cruelly. “Why, all of them, dear.” The shock on Kara’s face was palpable, but the woman cooed, “Oh, don’t worry yourself, dear. I intend to bring you help.” The fear didn’t leave Kara’s face. “I’m going to free our fellow Kryptonians from that infernal Phantom Zone.” She picked up the Kryptonite from beside her, adding, “Some of them won’t be vulnerable to this, which should help. Don’t you think?” She then rocketed away at super speed, leaving Supergirl to recover.
Let me know what you think, and remember, the deadline is tomorrow. >.> @wildvine ;]
Okay peeps, we are hours away from having only 3 days left! I don't know about anyone else, but I am feeling the time crunch - I've got more story to write, and then a whole lot of editing, to get it under the word limit. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it. :^/
@cbishop: Thanks. He's seventeen but his stature is diminutive, maybe 5'4", so he comes off as younger, but he's very bright and took AP science courses. He is an oddball, though, so he talks very formally.
Ah, I had taken your initial description to mean a younger kid. Makes much more sense now. Cool.
@cbishop: Thanks. He's seventeen but his stature is diminutive, maybe 5'4", so he comes off as younger, but he's very bright and took AP science courses. He is an oddball, though, so he talks very formally.
Deadline is the 16th. Get crackin'! (I'm still working on mine too.) ;)
@The_Dreadnought: Interesting character idea. If he can only do what he can comprehend, would the kid really have a basic knowledge of physics, and/or talk so formally? <shrugs> Depends on the kid, I guess. I like the story though. :)
I happened to be developing the idea of Godhand when I noticed this contest. I wanted to make a Superman level hero but still be interesting. I thought about how people always try to quantify powers- well superman can lift this much compared to... blah, blah, blah. So I figured, why not make someone who can alter the rules of the universe that everyone measures themselves by? I didn't want to just make him a god, once again I wanted something interesting, so he is just a kid who now has godlike abilities to alter reality but no understanding of them. His abilities all require a conscious effort, which is a real drain, and he can only do things he can comprehend. I mean for him to be a hero who embarks on a galactic quest for knowledge and enlightenment so he can better use his powers. IDK, what do ya'll think?
The great steel slabs stood before Superman, more indomitable than most this world had to offer. Simple steel, Kal’ El could easily obliterate the pages of his diary with a thought, a glance, a flick of his finger. Yet, victory would still be outside his reach for these pages demanded something that Superman could provide only as well as any mortal man. While he pondered his latest entry, something disturbed his thoughts. Footsteps, coming from inside the Fortress of Solitude. Superman was there in an instant. Before him stood a short young man, blonde headed and blue eyed. He wore simple blue jeans and a T-shirt and as Superman approached him the boy tugged a single glove off his hand.
“Who are you and how did you get in?” Nothing seemed unusual about the young man and his x-ray vision revealed no abnormality in his physiology or any hidden technology. Except for that glove…
“My name? Inconsequential. Does your name matter? Does the world need to know what Superman’s ‘real name’ is? If they knew, would they need to call you something else? I am here to talk to you, though, so you can call me Godhand for our conversation.”
“Interesting name, why would I call you that?” Superman realized something was wrong about this situation but saw no reason to not humor the human. His senses revealed nothing but something felt wrong about that glove that now rest in the youth’s pocket.
“No reason for now, at least as I am, but it will save you needing to ask later, and while I am like this, you are truly a super man. You see, I am here to talk about perspective. I never liked you, Superman. You are too impenetrable, unearthly, and… well, unrelatable. You come to earth and espouse yourself as our protector, justifying your actions by claiming humanity is worth saving as if you have some understanding of what it is to be human. You could not know what humanity is. You are like a god to us, and to you we could only be what we are, insignificant specks. Perspective. That is why I disarm myself to school a god. Now, for the rest of your lesson.” Superman was paralyzed by indecision, he had no reason to attack the boy but he was unsettled when the glove was slipped back onto the hand.
“Perspective.”
The glove began to flow like opaque white water around the boy’s body, changing his form into that of an imposing alabaster man with streaks of red light penetrating the seams of his suit, like it barely contained a sun. Superman rose into the air, preparing for the worst.
The worst came in a barrage of earth-shattering blows. Godhand struck with a force Superman usually only felt when sparring with fellow Kryptonians. I shouldn’t have to hold back then. Superman struck back with the same force, sending Godhand flying back.
“Damn, you really are strong. I couldn’t really comprehend that power.” Godhand grinned. “Until now. You see, the reason I call myself ‘Godhand’ is because I happened across a tool of the gods, and I don’t mean those Greek posers. No, I mean something far older, like those that actually created worlds. This tool, my white glove, allows me to alter the fabric of reality. The only problem is that it doesn’t come with a god’s knowledge or cognitive ability, so creating worlds is beyond me. A basic understanding of physics allows me to change my physiology to take whatever you can dish, but I can only strike with as much power as I can comprehend, so our fight will be enlightening.”
With this knowledge Superman changed his tactics and directed his heat vision at Godhand with enough power to obliterate the moon, while extreme, he knew he could not afford to increase his attacks in increments. He only hoped he did not kill Godhand outright.
The heat radiating from his gaze melted all the ice around them for miles and filled the air around them with steam. To Superman’s dismay the end of the beam fizzled out in front of Godhand. “I had figured you might try that. It took some contemplation but I realized that your heat vision was just causing molecules to move rapidly. To protect myself, I need only to keep the molecules around me in stasis, which only requires a thought. You see, Superman, I don’t play by the same rules as you. How many tons can you lift? What if I changed gravity to that amount? Godhand snapped his fingers and Superman began to understand how Atlas felt with the world on his shoulders. Superman strained to stay in the air. Godhand leapt forward, his fists raised. “Let me help you down!” Superman looked up as Godhand’s form blocked out the sun. A thundering KRAAAAKKK! rent the air as Godhand’s hammerfists sent Superman hurtling into the ocean.
“You see, Superman? Perspective is everything! Here I am, looking down on you from above. I think I like you more like this. Relatable.”
Superman shook his head under the water, trying to think of a way out. This “Godhand” seemed to have access to almost unlimited power but acknowledged that the limit was his own perception. Godhand had done his homework, and even now grew stronger as he anticipated Superman’s attacks. I have to throw him a curve ball, show him something he can’t anticipate or comprehend. I need the sun. Superman burst from the ocean with all of the speed he could muster. The vacuum left in his wake created a trail of water reaching up into the atmosphere. Godhand could hardly track his motion with his enhanced senses. “Going for the big guns, I see.”
The round trip to the sun and back was only a moment and when he returned, Superman appeared in front of Godhand with his hand gripping his suit.
“Superman, you’re positively glowing. One in the oven?”
“This ends now, Godhand. I don’t know what you are after, but it isn’t worth it.”
Power radiated from Superman in waves. His presence made the elements themselves recoil in fear and there departure caused a storm to brew.
“You still don’t know? Perspective, Superman! I wanted you to know how it felt to be on the other side of godhood. Like how I originally came to you. I had hoped this fight would do it but now I will make it easier on you. What makes you strong is that sun, or more specifically, its particular radiation. What if I changed the rules?”
@cbishop: I probably will not enter or do what I did every other round and enter on the last day, I have way to many re-imagined things to do and loads of coursework, and I have no clue about superman to top it all off lol@wildvine: good luck
"Coursework?" "Coursework?" Now school is in the way of your writing entry? Now I have heard everything! "School comes first." Sheesh. (Good for ya!) <mumblegrumble> ;)
@cbishop: I probably will not enter or do what I did every other round and enter on the last day, I have way to many re-imagined things to do and loads of coursework, and I have no clue about superman to top it all off lol@wildvine: good luck
My only excuse is that I hardly ever read DC after 20 odd years lol thanks for that though :)
I planned on the story being set in space away from Earth until the antagonist was weakened enough where he might threaten to extinguish the sun for his power source as a final issue threat.
I had no idea there was an Atrocitus though haha and here I was thinking I was clever looking up Latin words in the dictionary. Rushed it last night because I can only seem to belt a story out as soon as the seed is sown though so the criticism is well received, thanks. I wanted ton call him Cataclysm but entered that into the database and saw that already existed!
Yeesh, you let "Cataclysm" go because of a villain from Primal Force? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-haaa!
My only excuse is that I hardly ever read DC after 20 odd years lol thanks for that though :)
I planned on the story being set in space away from Earth until the antagonist was weakened enough where he might threaten to extinguish the sun for his power source as a final issue threat.
I had no idea there was an Atrocitus though haha and here I was thinking I was clever looking up Latin words in the dictionary. Rushed it last night because I can only seem to belt a story out as soon as the seed is sown though so the criticism is well received, thanks. I wanted ton call him Cataclysm but entered that into the database and saw that already existed!
Is this character plausible in the real DCU? So much of the world destroyed, just on his approach... not leaving much for writers to work with, when it's all done. Is this a story I'd like to read? You betcha. Is it one I think would plausibly happen in the DCU, that has to publish stories month-after-month? No. Unless it was something happening right before a major, universe-spanning retcon. If the story is supposed to continue after this? No way.
Not saying you should change a thing. Just that I'm not sure it fits the criteria of "plausible in the actual DCU." I could be wrong though - this is sort of Imperiex amped up several notches. They could probably pull it off, minus the destruction of real places. I could see a fictional country cratering into nonexistence though, sort of like nuking Kahndaq. So yeah, okay, nevermind. ;)
When nothing, not even light nor sound, could escape the force of the Black Hole, the guardians of the Universe dreaded to wonder what it was they saw that tore free of the yawning mouth of destruction spilling out into Sector 2814. But when stars young and old quickly faded out and when their fellow corpsmen began to disappear without a trace, there seemed no question that this suddenly blackened reality had been met with the intentions of a most terrifying threat...
Silent and unseen and yet travelling amidst the screaming explosions of dying suns, ATROCITAS tore its way to Earth with all the dreadful purpose of extinction in its abominable excuse of a heart. Still, the Lanterns followed the path of destruction as it led to Earth and yet more disappeared with out a trace, the lives and the very souls ripped out of them without warning; until the stars failed no longer and the Universe seemed silent and still once more. What had happened? This was unlike anything the guardians had ever witnessed even in their darkest night.
But now an impossible lifeform made real, Atrocitas, aimed to Earth like a bullet through oblivion and gaining velocity!!!
Yes, it is said that nothing can escape the destructive, unrelenting pull of the Black Hole and what humans do not understand, they may never be able to explain. But do you suspect that all the souls of the dead, past and present are amongst the countless energies that disperse out of the night and into the void? All that life and all that energy, ripped from reality by the greatest of terrors; where do you suspect they go and what is the purpose of the darkest of nature's forces?
Atrocitas did not know of any origin or past life as it incubated within the chaotic womb of that other pitch black dimension, yet it experienced memories that weren't its own and it remembered, it recalled times that no longer existed and universes and realities that had collapsed in upon themselves. It hungered and it fed on all that the wormhole brought its way and it yearned to be free its mother of all cataclysms. And finally it was drawn to this universe by the things it had heard and seen in its dreams and its visions; the rage and the death, the war and the desolation, the terror and the darkness...
And then of course there were these guardians, these so-called immortal heroes and the greatest, most powerful of all. Another son amongst the stars, yet a lesser symptom of the universe than Atrocitas itself, though they both fed from the same fire. The only differences? Many! This Superman was a man of flesh, Atrocitas was forged of mega-compressed earth and rock, the by-product of dead planets and suns, ice and gas, bound and made living by unknown forces - universal matter made anti-matter!
Superman's senses were phenomenal but Atrocitas' were to be worshipped by the very races it would wipe from existence; he didn't have to hear their screams of terror, he had already felt their meaning from that chaotic nightmare that bore him. Superman drew his energy from the sun - the same sun that would be extinguished in a flash the moment Atrocitas had finished with the pathetic souls of Earth. And its powers were equal to that of the Black Hole that spewed it out in that dead Sector. As the nightmare thing hurlted towards Earth, the black pits of its eyes smouldered. Feeding from the rages of men and the nightmares of helpless children - victims soon to be all - its mouth yawned open to reveal the terrifyingly long and jagged frozen teeth.
The 29th day before its arrival on Earth, the nightmares began... for everybody. Atrocitas' name began to be spoken worldwide and without explanation...
By the 25th day, chaos ruled the streets...
By the 20th a deadly silence had replaced it and the suicide rates soared...
By the 10th, earthquakes rocked the world. Japan fell into the ground. The Middle East and much of Russia was literally swallowed up by the ground and already the superhero community was in pieces, broken by the tragedy...
Come the 7th day, Superman realised that the only way he might save the people of Earth was to make sure that the threat didn't get any closer, took to the skies and disappeared...
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