• Date joined:2008-06-06
  • City:
  • Gender:Other
  • Alignment:Evil
  • Points:1662 Points
  • Ranked:Currently Disabled


                           Relax and let me console your pain
Feeling unknown
And you're all alone
Flesh and bone
By the telephone
Lift up the receiver
I'll make you a believer
Take second best
Put me to the test
Things on your chest
That we need to confess
I will deliver
You know I'm a forgiver 
---- my thoughts here ------
only once you have opened your heart can your mind really see the world.   
your heart is the only thing that can see the rhythm and the beat.  
I'd rather be weird than weak.

Life is awesome if you seduce it into being your lover and have
all the fun and games with it your little mind can dream of, as
life is gratified by your presence within it.

intelligent people read and memorize the ideas of others put before them and
thereby declare their intelligence. intellects are free thinking, and reading the ideas
of those put before them ,realize their outdated, and they write new ones instead.
- CXE 
 its not my fault that people attract to me and desire me to be who they perceive me as,
and fail theyre own perceptions when i can't abide their fantasy. im a lover, this is the
way it goes. 
- Life is a hospital waiting room, all of us have an appointment with Dr.Death. What will you do with the
time? Freak out, try and escape your fate, read the magazines and smoke your pipe, create something,
fight, make love?

 - I perceive things beyond notion these days and in blood and energy instead, namelessly

To anyone:
If you want to ask me a question about anything feel free to PM me and ask.
I'm not shy and even if you think its bad ive probably heard worse and I have

nothing to hide. 
Or, if anyone just needs someone to listen, I will be there.
* Many times you'll notice my status is Online, but i never log out even when im not here,
so please don't feel im avoiding, k :)
portfolio link
freedom force link
facebook (warning: not for the close minded!)
 Random facts about myself
- i am a genetic hybrid of my mother and father. farkin hair- blonde+brown, hazel eyes- blue+brown, ect. my bone structure is also off, especially that i have womens bowl hips. also i have a hormonal imbalance.
- my bones are said to be compact and dense, more so than the normal person. as a result i've never broken a bone despite the fact i well should have
- im pansexual by preference, and pangendered by design
  - i crossdress 
- i have many tattoo's done by myself
- i am a cutter 
- inside i am female and feline, and possibly possessed if such a thing exists 
- im currently undergoing gender reassignment  
- i have an unusual birthmark on my tummy
- i shave my body hair  
- on that note, ive had a girl tell me " i have the kind of body any woman wishes she had.
 - i havent had intercourse with many people, nor many relationships, but have been in extreme sexual acts, and kissed literally hundreds of people.
 - i love leather. 
- I'm into S&M, if it wasn't obvious 

- despite my better nature i have been in many fights, and always in a situation where the opposition had a major advantage.
- im a martial arts student
- im bizarre enough that most people do not consider me human, even the ones that call themselves crazy or freaks, ect.
- i was abused as a child to a major extent, and in unnatural ways. i wont go too into detail, but from age 4 on up my father
used to put cigarettes to my body, as he believed if i got used to pain i would no longer cry to give you an idea of the level
of it.
- i do art of every form, and can draw anything i see freehand in due time
- i have befriended just about every walk of life there is, mainly on the basis that i deserve the trust i earn, i listen and i pay my debts
- i dont gamble, but i love hanging out in casino's. it reminds me of the arcades from my childhood.
- i make much of my own clothing. i sculpt. i make action figures. i make video games. i sculpt wooden canes, anything i can get the
supplies to design i will 
- many of the people and living things i cared the most about are dead or worse.
- i have motion sickness and can't go on carnival rides, also swings give me trouble.
- i love swimming 
- im spontaneous to the max. i wear costumes and make up for no events in particular, i celebrate made up holidays, i run around shooting
people with squirt guns, yell random things, ect. 
- i dont fear physical pain nor death at all, and i can take pounds of damage. ive also learned how to keep myself from blacking out
- i often suffer from mania. i rarely sleep as a result.
- i'm diagnosed schitzoeffective among a host of other things, yet legally sane due to my ability to grasp static reality. 
- i am the same Catman who was in the national news who held a protest against the degradation of liberal rights
in America by handcuffing myself naked and painted up in an eccentric cat costume outside of a Fox 11 News room.
( the facts are incorrect in some places though, my crime was deemed nonsexual, just poor artistic planning and was not frowned
upon by the community nor the courts, and i was convicted of Lewd And Lascivious behavior, not Indecent Exposure which is 
a sex offender related crime.)
- i appreciate the fact that i am never alone in who i am, nor my experiences, and there are many whom i would not wish to be
- i love all of the essential nerd stuff of course, and proudly advertise it.   
- im in a constant state of euphoria
- i love people, even those who have abused me, and want the best for them.  


  Sisters Forever! Becky and Alice 2010




 Could you spare some sugar?




 verbal and emotional abuse victim


I'm done with drama. I'm done with being a doormat. I keep forgetting and pushin what happens evey time to the back of my mind. Well now I'm done with that, too. No more. I can't do this again, go through this again. Spend hours trying to convince you of something that you refuse to believe. - DH



"Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." We gladly feast on those who would subdue us. Not just pretty words. -- Morticia. The Addams Family credo.


I don't need anyone
Don't need no mom and dad
Don't need no pretty face
Don't need no human race
I got some news for you
Don't even need you too

I got my devil machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
I'm a sonic reducer
Ain't no loser

People out on the streets
They don't know who I am
I watch them from my room
They all just pass me by
But I'm not just anyone
Said I'm not just anyone

I got my devil machine
Got my electronic dream
Sonic reducer
Ain't no loser
I'm a sonic reducer
Ain't no loser

I'll be a pharaoh soon
Rule from some golden tomb
Things will be different then
The sun will rise from here
Then I'll be ten feet tall
And you'll be nothing at all

 I don't know about you Miss Kitty, but I feel sooo much...yummier! >-)



my only desire next to being inside the nurses magical world and giving praise to her divinity, was to free her from the cold dark place her job had put her in and made her walk around in a paper suit, and burn out the far buried pain i could i could see deep inside of her. alas she was rewired by those monsters too far, and the glass they built around her flesh far to thick, and retreated back into the shadow, her eyes the last thing i saw.not so much empathy for the sun being dimmed, but for knowledge of her future. shes tries to control the Universe, and believes to control the outcome of her own future to a finite degree. i can see the future as a gift, and she is going to know hurt from this like none other she has ever experienced. when she finally feels the comfort to open her heart again, it will be to the trickster, dressed in silver and telling her only what she wants to hear,and she will be left  twisted and suffering for the rest of her days, days which she will choose to remain alone believing in safety first, only to realize on her death bed that she passed on her own joy. i could no more stand to see the works of Leonardo soiled then her. ): i only see the paths, the roads, and see them choosing and walking off into the dark or the light. and my desperate and vein attempt, done in the most extreme of sincerity was to block her from that path, but she walked around. i pity her loss and the worlds of the could have been her, though i left her the key to her cell, warning her that it will disintegrate over time, and she just sat in there staring at the
padded wall as if it had the answers in it.

I am the Dragon. And you call me insane. You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing. To me, you are a slug in the sun. You are an ant in the afterbirth. It is your nature to do one thing correctly. Before me, you rightly tremble. But, fear is not what you owe me. You owe me awe.





 I'm a new animal





This is the place where i lock the painful memories and bad thoughts i've had here
to leave them behind as i leave the site, as this is where they belong.
ala Pandora's Box, my Lament Configuration.   

 * Box finished, closed and darkness locked in - Catman 11/29/10