It's winter the snow covers the forest, the ground is harden by the cold and frost. It's been several seasons since i have been allowed to live near the village and its people the Dine.  They have given me a home within the forest a few miles from their village.  In return i have given them the few precious seeds and stories  that i carried with me during my escape from Teotihuacan.   I have taught them all i know of farming techniques helping them store the grain and dried foods and fruits for this winter, I now sit here in my small lodge looking out the door at the snowy fall  as i try to once again return to the land of the spirits and receive a sign from my Father. I hold in my hands a small cup of hot mushroom tea to help me on my spiritual journey while i'm wrapped with a blanket and chew on a peyotl button.

As i stare out i begin to rock back and fourth watching the colors swirl in front of me, i can hear my mortal heartbeat resonating within me, i can hear my breathing as if it were coming from another place. The veil of the mortal world begins to open allowing me to see into the spirit realm.  I hear the whisper of the ethereal beings not gods but also not mortal men something in between They speak to me:

Spirits of the World: " why have you come here little Prince?"
"this not your domain......not anymore."

I answer back:

"I wish to go home, to be what i was, i need to know how."

Spirits of the World: have you already forgotten how, Godling?
can your mortal mind not grasp what it was that you lost or did you never truly know to begin with?
You must know what it is you seek to be what you wish to be?

i become annoyed and try to retain my calmness in order to remain in this realm between worlds.

"I seek to regain what i lost to be  a god."
"please speak clearly to me and not in riddles, My mortal mind  cannot grasp such abstracts."

Spirits of the World:  "and what did you lose and how can one find what one has lost?"

"I lost my purity and therefor my divinity are you saying i cannot regain my purity and my godhood?"

Spirits of the World: You can never again be pure.............

I hear the whispered voices as it fades away covered by the background noise of the winter winds, it has taking me months to gain an audience with these beings only to hear what i could not bear. the curtains of reality fall back into place the multiple swirling colors fade away and i see before me snowflakes blown by the harsh wind, I stare at the winter weather and see it the distance obscured by the snow a figure moving forward. As it approaches i see what it is one of the villagers has come to me during this storm covered in her winter wolf and bear furs.

i see who it is, the young woman who had  found me, Hummingbird. She has tracked through the weather to see me since she had saved me she refuses to leave me alone. She looks up through  the snow and sees me, she smiles and waves as she calls out to me.

Hummingbird:  Hey! why are you sitting like that in front of the door?!

As soon as she speaks i puke  the mushroom tea and the peyotl mushed button.

Hummingbird: are you okay?!

She runs to my aid feeling some responsibility to me.  i dont know why she owes me nothing, it is I who still most repay her kindness.
 I wipe my mouth  as she comes over me and helps me stand walking me back inside and closing the door and tarp.

Hummingbird: do you want to die, sitting out there in this weather?
whats the point of me saving you from the desert if you're just gonna try to kill yourself by freezing?

I look at her as she pats off the snow off my blanket and looks around to build a fire for heat.

"I was looking for answers?"

Hummingbird: and you couldnt do that here near a fire?

I wanted to see the the snow.

Hummingbird: well now you saw it.

why are you here?

Hummingbird: i came to bring you food, you have not been to the village in days.
i was worried about you.

She removes the pack  full of food from her back as she lays it down on the table.

you shouldnt have come, it is too dangerous, you could have been hurt.

Hummingbird: hello? have you forgotten that i crossed a desert for you and i wasnt the one bit by a snake and dying.
 i think i can handle walking a couple of miles in the snow.

i do not argue with her as i watch her show me what she has brought as she removes it from the leather pack as she pulls out: squash, deer meat and even honey comb.

Hummingbird: i will make you something to eat.

I am not hungry.

Hummingbird: well, i am.
afterall, i just marched  through a bunch of snow.

I ignore her as i lie down in the corner wrapped in fur blankets and watch her prepare a meal.

Hummingbird: "the elders would like to see you again, they wish to hear more stories from your village and your people."

"I have no people. they abandoned me."

Hummingbird: "maybe, but they would like to know more of where you come from.
i told them that i would bring you back tomorrow morning."

"i dont feel like telling stories. "

Hummingbird: they would find it an insult afterall to them you are a wise man."

"If i am than why do they have me live so far away.."

Hummingbird: "b/c they fear and respect you."

she answers with her mouth full of food.

"and you?"

Hummingbird: "i respect you but, i do not fear you.
i have not seen you do anything for me to fear."