One Page Script - Harry Osborn

1. Harry Osborn stands at the coffee machine at his work. One hand is clearly visible as he steams milk while the other unseen. The coffee machine is a La Marzocco Strada – fully manual. It is during the down time so it is not terribly busy. As such, Harry is taking orders as he makes coffee on the pinnacle of coffee machines. We can only see the backs of the customers he is serving – two obviously male men. Both obviously hipsters.

HARRY

Hey, how can I help you?

HIPSTER ONE

Yeah, I’m after a single origin but I only like my espresso pressure profiles through a Synesso Hydra Gen II.

HIPSTER TWO

Yeah, like do you have any alternate brew methods or are you happy being in the middle ages?

2. Harry’s customer service smile has dropped – he has dealt with these types before. However he still tries to carry on with his job.

HARRY

Today we have the Brazillian Canto Gallo through both Chemex or a Kenyan pea berry through siphon.

HIPSTER ONE

Is that it? And what do you mean ‘a’ Kenyan pea berry?

HIPSTER TWO

Yeah, is it even from a nano-lot? What’s the farm of origin?

3. Harry is grimacing now. He’s about to snap. The hipsters have no idea

HIPSTER ONE

Doesn’t it seem weird to you to be extracting a pea berry through a siphon?

HIPSTER TWO

Do you have any non-gm cookies? I hope that’s fair trade milk.

4. Harry’s left hand, which has been hidden behind the machine all this time, is now visible. On it he wear one of the purple Goblin gloves that he wore as the Green Goblin. He is pointing it at Hipster Two. Sparks fly from Harry’s extended finger as they fry the Second Hipster’s face. Harry wears a psychotic grin. The colour of the page has turned a shadowy green.

5. Harry is now standing on the bench next to the coffee machine, throwing pumpkin bombs into the face of Hipster One with his non-gloved hand. He looks even happier than before. The page colour is greener and a little more shadowed than the previous panel.

6. Harry is back behind the coffee machine. The last two panels were just Harry’s imagination.

HIPSTER ONE

Actually, I think I’ll just have a coke.

HIPSTER TWO

Is the ice for the coke run through your reverse osmosis filtration system?

HARRY

*sigh*

4 Comments
4 Comments
Posted by RudeJohn

Okay, you made me smile. Broadly. Although I'm not quite sure what a "hipster" is. (hipster = a-hole?)

I'd like to see you expand this storyline. Imagine a backroom full of ocelots being cattle-prodded into eating and crapping out coffee beans for that extra yummy brew. Or cows being punched and beaten several hours a day because it produces the best creamer.

Mmmmmmm, coffee. o_O

Posted by batkevin74

I can almost see the sequel with Norman as the coffee b!+c# and the goblin glove isn't a dream :)

Posted by primepower53

This was a fun read.

Posted by benjum

Thanks guys, glad you like it.

A hipster is a person who thinks they are better than everyone else as they know things that you totally don't. Usually are douchebags.