Cheerio, old chaps. Before you ask, yes. I am a beagle. And yes, my name is Beagle. I come from a line of immortal beagle warlords -- the Beagleton family. I hail from Great Britain. I have telepathic powers. I am almost certain that I have mind control, but it only really works on young girls and boys. I have the strength of thirty beagles and the speed and cunning thrice that of a coyote. A single smack of my tail can break bones. My bark has the capacity to send even small cars flying through the air. I have standard beagle hearing (sadly, the super beagle hearing trait was not passed down genetically), and my sense of smell is actually really bad because all the wars I've been through have all but singed the inside of my nose. I am currently learning telekinesis through the use of the Internet, but I am still in training.
Though I used to rule through the use of war and massacre, I have changed my tactics to a more subtle approach of ruling. You see, I own a great amount of shares of several large businesses that have much control over people in power across the world. In fact, there is hardly a political decision that isn't affected by me. I also like to stalk people and do research for my good pal Feral Nova. She is really great and gives me treats, so I help her out if she ever needs it.
Also, I hate Peta and would like to somehow destroy it without revealing my terrifying powers.
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