If you have been feeling down for more than a month and you are seriously thinking about suicide, you are depressed and you need to see a doctor. I've been depressed and suicidal, and I spent about five years ignoring it because I didn't want to get help, and though I wasn't miserable the entirety of those five years, I spent much more of that time experiencing misery than I needed. When you are depressed, you literally have a chemical imbalance in your brain that keeps your happy chemicals from being released properly, and no matter how hard you try to feel good, you'll never feel good as long as those chemicals are off. There are certain things you can do like exercise, develop a consistent and sufficient sleep routine and begin to consciously rewire your thought patterns to avoid ruminating continuously on self-destructive thoughts (I can explain more on that if desired), and these may be sufficient to get the imbalance restored, but there are also medications who do this more quickly and more easily, and considering you are already slammed for time, I'd suggest seeing a doctor.
Here's the thing. Whatever you have going on and whatever you are trying to accomplish, it's all meaningless if you are dead, and I know you didn't actually attempt, but if this was more than a passing thought, then you are getting dangerously close to the edge, and again, I've been there so I know of which I speak. Drop anything that stands in the way of you getting your head on straight. If you will get medical help, you can probably get healed while keeping your current work load, but if it comes to your life or your goals, put your goals on hold for a few months and get your head on straight and then you can start killing those giants that stand in your way with a new, improved, happier, more focused and more fulfilled you.
As far as friends, be thankful you have people who care about you. Some people like Bruxae will try to help in all the wrong ways by belittling your feelings and stresses and acting as if you are being ridiculous, but this is only because they don't understand how the world can feel like it's caving in on you. If they've never experienced serious medical depression, they can't sympathize with your feelings and instead assign bad motives to you. Realize people like this are also trying to help you in their own inept ways, but know that you cannot shrug off a physical infirmity, and though it is a problem with your feelings, what is in your feelings is being shaped by what is happening in your physical brain. It's not your fault, but you do have a responsibility to help yourself for if you don't help yourself you will soon be unable to help anyone else.
Hope you get to feeling better,
BatWatch
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