Battalion : Hello everybody ! Welcome back to WCJS Radio catchy theme song plays on the background Today, we're going to celebrate Orpheus's birthday ! Happy birthday Orpheus, we got the news from your two trusty servants Bob and Steve ! Who's now here on the radio station... bickering ensues Stop fighting and get over here !
Steve : Okay... okay... jeez
Bob : That guy is creepy
Battalion : They're here to sing the Happy Birthday song ! So Orpheus... be ready to cover your ears.
Steve and Bob :
Happy.... birthday.... dear Orpheus
You shall take over the world...
Don't be afraid of him just because his devious
He's an awesome guy......
He's the richest man on earth... !
But he's the nicest man in hell... !
He has an ego the size Perth.. !
And he's a stinky bun who smells.. !
Oh we may hate you....
But this universe's not the same without you......
sniffs, claps, whistles, and tears erupted from the crowds.
Portrait : Wow....
Battalion : Agreed.
Portrait : Better than Mortality's
Battalion : Agreed.
Zem appeared out of nowhere
Zem : Better than me ? Surely not !
Shattering window was heard and zem was thrown out of the six story building.
Battalion : Uh-hm.... now we have Orpheus on the line.
Battalion : Orpheus ?
Premonition : WHERE'S BOB AND STEVE ?!
Steve and Bob : Here we are sir !
Premonition : You buffoons, today is not my birthday !
Bob : Really ? Are you sure... ?
Steve : Our sources told us it is your birthday today !
Premonition : And who is this source of yours ?
Bob : The squirrel...
Squirrel : Chip chip chip chip
Premonition : I'll kill you later.
Battalion : Ookay... now its time for our ads !
SUPER BRICK ! Kids love em ! SUPER BRICK !
Portrait : What the hell was that ?!
Staff : Super brick is awesome ! It does absolutely nothing but it can do anything !
Portrait : That doesn't make any sense
Staff : Or is it... ?
Portrait : Stop being cryptic
Battalion : Okay next up is our favorite, most lovable, not huggable star. Starheart !. Come on in Starheart.
Starheart : You humans are useless.
Battalion : Yes, yes we know that. Now.. tell us about yourself Starheart.
Starheart : A Few Billion Years Ago
Battalion : Ooh... this sounds exciting
Portrait : Shush..
A Few Billion Years Ago
The star Sirius B formed. For a few million years it did what all stars do, combusting elements into other elements. Then, one day, it spontaneously gained sentience. Conferring with other sentient stars, it created an avatar to explore the universe. This was in the form of the Starheart, which adapted to look like the dominant species. It gained knowledge of thousands of planets, and through the telepathic link sent it back to the star Sirius B.
Battalion : Cool. That's one more thing that NASA don't know about !
Portrait : What do you think of Earth... ?
Starheart : Harmless.
Battalion : Is that all ?
Starheart : Mostly harmless. Now I must go. A kid nearby is eating an Ice Cream and Sirius B wants me to gain as much intel on this Ice Cream of yours. So goodbye !
an explosion occurs and Starheart flew out through the ceiling
Portrait : We may need to fix that.
Battalion : Yup. So that's all for today folks. We conclude today's edition of WCJS