DC Genesis Retroactive: Teen Titans #1 (spelling errors fixed)

Planet Krypton Cafe,Keystone City,1:00 pm

Two boys are sitting at a table outside a restaurant the first boy is African American, with piercing amber eyes and black dreadlocks.he is wearing a wife-beater and faded denim jeans, A seashell pendant hangs around his neck. He has an irritated scowl across his face and is drumming his fingers on the table. Across from him sits an equally handsome Caucasian boy with jet black hair and crystal blue eyes. His calm and collected demeanor provides a stark contrast to his boyish good looks. His eyes are glued to to a newspaper article about an arsonist calling himself "Heatwave"

Jackson: I cant believe this, he's running late again!!! This is so typical.

Tim:I'm sure something came up, he always has a reason

Jackson:The guy freaking tiptoes at Mach 4!!!!!! What possible reason could he have for being.....

*Jackson is interrupted as Tim's cellphone begins to ring. The tune "Hey Driver" is barely audible over the hustle and bustle of the crowd*

Tim: well speak of the devil, that's him now.

*grinning in relief, Tim activates his Bluetooth ear buds*

Tim: *In a mockingly stern tone* Hello Bartholomew, you do remember we had an appointment, don't you? you know how your mother worries when your late for dinner.

Jackson: Your momma throws bat-a-rangs

Tim: I love you too honey...... Wait Bart slow down, dude I can't understand a single......wait....Oh god.........you didn't...........in front of him?!? Well of course he took a swing at you!!! God,you can be a doofus...........hey!!!!! There's no need for that kind of language!!!!.....what channel is it on..... OK, see you in a few.....

*Tim hangs up and face-palms for a minute with a reluctant smile on his face before motioning to to a nearby waitress*

Waitress:something I can do for you two boys?

Tim: Could you change to channel 3 please? And turn the volume up?

Waitress: Sure thing, hon.

Jackson: *turns to Tim as the waitress leaves* What the hell is going on?

Tim: Let's just say its about time that we got Bart fixed.......

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1 Comments
Posted by Joygirl

Huh. Not terrible. Dialogue is a bit disjointed and you have the same issues with shopping-list-description that punkpuppy3 does. Decent setup though.