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I was born from Lies

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Punk fearfully presents an in-character Attack of Mewtwo MST3king

OOC Stuff-


Yea, so I wanted to do one of these too. If you haven't seen it already, Vrakmul did one of these for the "My Immortal" fan-fiction (Here is the link). A MST3king is basically an in-character reaction to something, usually something so bad it's half comical and half torture to watch/read. My characters will be "reviewing" a fan fiction by "dark lemur" about Pokemon. I will not be changing any amount of the spelling or content aside from font. Before you read this, I'll tell you that I have only read through the first two chapters and I don't know what the rest of the story holds. WARNING: This fan fiction has a likely hood of giving you an aneurism. Avoid this if you have OCD on grammar and logic, you'll likely go mad.
 
I got permission, not trying to rip off anybody here! For the lolz and only the lolz.

IC Setup-


Harris stepped into the theater; or, more so was pushed in by one of the large, godly ushers. He could see many recognizable faces sitting in the seats. That horse-faced Thor guy from Martial City, Lord Rake; The werewolf warrior chick Astrid; even the giant metal scrapyard that had been causing trouble in Paradise and the Balkans, Darwin. He could hear a large crowd of individuals being forced in behind him. He took his seat, wondering why he was doing this. The theater screen flashed on as what he would soon come to know as torture phased into view.  

Let the Script begin!-


Pokemon attack of mewtwo made by dark lemur
Harris: "Okay, great Pokemon. Fun fun fun."
Leo: "Dark Lemur? What kind of name is that?"
Astrid: "Lemurs are jittery Earthen creatures."
Leo: "Yea, duh. Not what I was asking."
Cesar: "What the hell is a mewtwo?"
Dynekes: "I think it's like a weird alien mutant that can mind control you."
Cesar: "That's f#cking weird, kaypay."
*Dibella turns at Cesar with a grimace, Cesar does the middle finger dance*
Leonardo: "Stop you're foolery, the tale is still going."

  this is dark fic it has many dark themes and death and vilence do not read unless you want to
Hector: "So I don't have to watch this? Good." *Gets up, but is nestled back into his seat by the staff*
Nick: "Vilence?"
Tony: "Isn't that the sound a cat makes when it gets stepped on?"
Seth: "No! It's the sounds a rat makes when you punt it like a football!"
Harris: "Well, hopefully it is violent."
Noah: "I can deduce that this story was likely made by a child from the spelling. I doubt a child has the ability to write a violent story."
Harris: "Have to stomp on my hope, huh?"
Ivan: "I'm reasonably sure a bit of hope died when we entered the theater."
*Nathan looks at Ivan with a bit of detest. Ivan shrugs back into his seat.*

"wake up Sarah" said Sarahs mom. Sarah was pokemon trainer who was thirteen years old with black hair and nice smile and really pretty.
Leonardo: "I can feel the author is going to continue with these grammar issues."
Leo: "Of course it will! It's a freaking LEMUR!"
Tammy: "Lemurs suck."
Alfred: "It's why we sent chimps into space and not those odd little rat things." 
Noah: "I've eaten Lemur before. It was tasty."
Leo: "Don't really care."

"ok mom" said Sara and she rememberd that she was old enough for pokemon journey because pokemon leage changed age that trainers could leave home and Sarah went to see professer Oak.
Dick: "Didn't Ash leave home at the age of ten?"
Nick: "The kid probably watches the newer seasons. She might not even know who Ash is...."
*Darwins lights flicker*
Ivan: "The spelling is in the least consistently flawed."
Seth: "Oh don't you worry! They'll get worse!" *Laughs maniacally*
*Everyone stares at Seth, and he quiets down*

"Hi Oak" said Sarah and Oak told sarah that he had only one pokemon left.
Harris: "Uh, how often does Professor Oak only have one Pokemon? When Ash came, he didn't even want to give the electric mouse to him."
Dick: "Not to mention she called him Oak. Everyone calls him Professor Oak."
Hector: "Why am I even here?"
Darwin: "/DArwin observes thAt An higher power despises our existence/"
Astrid: "Obviously."

"It is evee" said Oak and Sarah said it was her favorite and Oak gave her pokeball and sarah let pokemon out. "eevee" said the eevee. "it is so kawaii" said sarah (it is japanese for cute ok!!!)
Ivan: "Oh, she's Japanese. That explains the brain curling spelling."
Nick: "Hopefully..."
Hector: "At least she got that right."
Dynekes: "Perhaps we were seeing this in the wrong light."
Hysteria: "I see things in a lot of light... this still doesn't look good..."
Darwin: "/Agreed/"

Sarah walked out of labradory and suddenly mewtwo. "who are you" asked sarah "i am mewtwo and I hate pokemon trainers and I will explode oaks laboratory so that NO ONE CAN BE TRAINER"
Dick: "...."
Harris: "I'm pretty sure there are other labs..."
Hector: "I'm sure there is no point in trying to think about this, judging on how media has progressed."
Ophelia: "Mewtwo was always on my Pokemon roster."
Seth: "Cool story bro."
*Dynekes eyes Seth, Seth laughs*

"NO said sarah "why do you want to explode lab" "because humans are evil" sad mewtwo" no mewtwo you are evil" said sarah and then mewtwo blew up lab anyway "no" said sarah and saw oak was dead and was Gary. "no why did you do this mewtoo you are evil" said sarah "Shut up or I EXPLODE YOUR HEAD" said mewtwo but sarah not listen and mewtwo shat sichic at her.
Harris: "....what?"
Hector: "So, this 'mewtwo' creature wants to blow up a lab.... but stops to talk in bad English to some underage girl?"
Harris: "And then he "shat" at her. Is this Pokemon or a porno?"
Seth: "I hope it's porn! We might see some tentacles!"
Ophelia: "What is he talking about?"
Dynekes: "You're too young. Ignore him."
Dick: "Gross."

"now she is dead" said mewtwo and flew away but sarah was not dead and blacked out and so was eve.
Astrid: "This is what the Lemur considers violent and dark? And I thought I was going to get something out of this."
Cesar: "I feel ya pretty lady, maybe I can help you with that?"
Astrid: "Unless you mean you're gonna let me gut you, no, you can't."
Cesar: "Too kinky for me."
Punk: "Not for me."
Dick: "Ew."
*Astrid flusters*

then sarah woke up and saw that mewtwo was gone and was sad and sad
Noah: "This girl survives being defecated on by a mutated clone and she is SAD?"
Leo: "Translation; she lives through getting a dirty hairy, and then starts crying."
Alfred: "She's a 13 year old girl for God's sake."
Seth: "It's Hentai, remember?"
Tammy: "She said sad twice..."
Lukas: "Perhaps she's giving us a sign."
Harvest: "A sign of what? That the b#tch enjoyed the alien taking a sh#t-?"
Dick: "Please, stop talking about that." 

"mewtwo I will take ravange on u for exploding oaks lab" and decided to train eevee to become stranger than mewtwo even though mewtwo was legendry and so her pokemon journey begun. 
Noah: "She misspelled her favorite creature's name..."
Nick: "She mispelled more than that."
Harris: "I don't think anything could be "stranger" than a mutant alien clone that takes sh#ts on underage girls to the point of being deadly."
Dick: "I said not to talk about that!"
Ophelia: "Yea, I don't wanna hear that either."
Alfred: "Let's just be glad it's over."
Ivan: "For now..."
Leonardo: "By Odin's beard, I need a drink."
Cesar: "I'm with you on that, horse face!"
 

Chapter 2 coming soonish

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Ask Punk

Decided it's time I made one of these :p I spend most of my time in the RPG forum, so it's probable most people here don't know me. But that's irrelevant! Ask me questions, and I will (pathetically) attempt to answer them is the point of me making this.
 
EDIT: No need to reply to me. It's a blog so I see all the posts anyways :p

55 Comments

Hafling Evolution

Log of John Masters, step-father to Harris Marston (Subject in question)

 
Birth:
"The baby shows little signs of demonic physiology. He is completely normal on the exterior. Further examination proves hormones produce at a slightly faster rate. Boy is stronger than most infants, and increased brain function. Monthly checks on this are to be done."
 
Second Birthday:
"Infant broke out of his room. Highly aggressive at first, was given a piece of candy, he then returned to his crib. Examination shows teeth to have developed, strong teeth. Child must be given a sweet once a day to keep him from breaking out."
 
Third Birthday:
"Child walked out of his room. No signs of him walking had been recorded. He went to the kitchen and took a piece of chicken from the fridge and devoured it. When asked if he wanted a treat, child refused. Must add meat to the diet to keep him stable."
 
Fourth Birthday: 
"Child finds one of my books and reads the first few sentences roughly. The book was written in Russian, and the boy was never exposed to anything of that extent before. Brain scanning reveals subconscious mental abilities. The boy learns while he sleeps. Special drugs used to suppress these abilities."
 
Fifth Birthday:
" Claws and fangs begin to develop. Scan shows signs of demon-specific hormone (Called D-717 for now) being produced inside his body. Harris leaves the house without permission and gets hit by a car. Harris got up from it and attacked the man that had hit him. Man survives, but notes that Harris ripped a hole in his car door trying to get to him. Healing and anger proven to be caused by D-717. Drugs administered to keep the anger issues under control."
 
Sixth Birthday:
"Harris begins talking to a seemingly-imaginary friend. Harris calls the friend Damy. When asked to draw Damy, Harris says he doesn't know what Damy looks like, stating that Damy only talks to him in his head. Scan shows no signs of mental conditions. Damy continues talking to Harris for next four years, until Harris says 'Damy had to go make life good for him'. When asked to explain, Harris refuses to talk for hours."
 
Seventh Birthday:
"Harris begins asking questions about his mother. When told the false story created for his protection, he claims I am lying and goes into a angry fit. He breaks a couple of windows and smashed through a table. I managed to talk him down. When asked why he did this, he claimed "Damy" had told him that I was lying to him. I assure him that I'm not. Scan shows some twisted functions in his brain. No other developments shown in his physiology."
 
Eighth Birthday:
"Harris reads another one of my books, this one a biblical bestiary. He points out several demons, claiming they are familiar-looking. When asked what he means, he says he doesn't know. Among the demons he points out: Succubus, Incubus, Mara, Vampire, and Wendigo. Recordings show he hadn't been exposed to anything of this nature before. More recordings of "Damy" required.. "
 
Ninth Birthday:
"Harris wakes up in the night screaming. When I go to his room, I find him arms twisted around his head. He was biting himself, and a pool of blood had formed at his feet. The walls were covered in claw marks. I tranquilize him and put him in a blanket. His wounds heal fast, and he wakes up. He throws me through a wall and escapes. Two days later I find him naked in the nearby woods, huddled under the moonlight talking to himself. Animals stay clear away from him. He is docile and doesn't attack when I retrieve him. He rests for two days, and awakes acting as if nothing happened. He claimed that he was dreaming and "Damy" had taken him on an adventure. Weekly scan shows no change in brain development other than usual. Harris given therapist sessions."
 
Tenth Birthday:
"Harris claims Damy no longer talks to him and has left. Recordings show Harris not doing his usual conversations with Damy, somewhat proving this. Harris tells therapist Micheal that he is sad that Damy has left, but that he is relieved as well. When asked about this, Harris changes the subject. Micheal complies not wanting to bring about another of Harris fits. Harris begins going outside, with observation, often. He spends an hour staring at an ant hill oddly."
 
Eleventh Birthday:
"Harris starts writing while outside. He refuses to allow anyone to see his writing and gets agitated when asked about it. Micheal reports Harris talking about how amazing ants are. He shows knowledge of them that, after recordings are reviewed, he should have no way of knowing. Scan shows Harris's subconscious mental abilities reforming. New drugs administered to keep powers from evolving around the last set of drugs."
 
Twelfth Birthday:
"Harris begins sleep walking. During these walks, he mutters in what has been confirmed as Latin. There is no way he should know how to speak the language, as nothing in the home even references it. Harris, during one of these walks, sets up an odd formation on the ground outside using glasses and silverware. I place all the items in question back while he goes to get another item. He doesn't react vocally and starts the thing over. I wake him up and he smacks me aside. He falls on his rear and rubs his eyes. He says he has no idea what happened. Micheal informs me that Harris told him he was seeing colors and shapes in his dreams. Ones that scared him, though he couldn't completely describe it as fear...more so he described it as alien. Scans show secondary brain functions happening outside the normal mentality. Security on Harris has been increased."
 
Thirteenth Birthday:
"Harris bursts out of his room at night, eyes closed, and goes outside. I follow him and hear a crackling sound. I look to see Harris breathing flames from his throat and burning the ant hill he had been watching all this time. I tackle him before he causes a fire. He awakes an vomits blood. I take him to check what had happened, and it seems the flames originated in his throat. X-Ray reveals no outside source of the flame. I recognize the flame as magically produced, naturally demonic. However Harris's body hasn't accepted the demonic changes and, as such, is burned by the flames. I bring a psychic in and have him read Harris. She says he was dreaming that he was a dragon attacking a city, which was somewhat accurate. She suggests I talk to Harris more."
 
Fourteenth Birthday:
"I take Harris to a local park. I keep him away from other kids and in the darker places of the area. He starts staring at a tree and hums a tune. I turn my head to watch some people walk by us, and when i turn back Harris had mad his way up the small tree, without making a sound. He pets a squirrel while he is up there. I get him to come down. Scans taken later show that D-717 has released itself into his muscles naturally. His physical abilities need a conduit. Training as a hunter being considered."
 
Fifteenth Birthday:
"I find Harris's room empty. I search for three hours before finding him in the park we had gone to last year. He had climbed to the top of a high tree and was screeching like a wild animal. I get him down and he begins bragging to me about how good he felt. He says "Damy" had told him to go up there. No recordings of Damy has been recorded since he was nine. How he even remembers the friend is beyond my knowledge. Brain scan shows a almost drastic change in his brain function. He was no focusing thoughts on 'fun'. Sedatives administered to him to keep him from doing such things."
 

After John Master's gruesome demise the following year, Harris began living with his old therapist Micheal, who did his own recordings at Harris's request.

 
Sixteenth Birthday:
"On his sixteenth birthday, Harris and John Master's were attacked by demonic being 4787, or Damatri. It was during Harris's thirtieth demon-hunt. Damatri, who has been confirmed to be the 'imaginary friend' Harris had, Damy, killed John and tried to sweet-talk Harris, who bluntly ran away as fast as he could. He managed to shut Damatri out of his head and made it without Damatri following. Harris gave me his father's log of his physical changes during the year a week later. It said Harris had begun having arguments with 'Damy' in his room alone, but otherwise normal things. I decide to watch Harris closely."
 
Seventeenth Birthday:
"Harris begins acting much more serious. He stops talking so socially, being quiet. He beings writing any changes in his senses and giving them to me, so to help 'contain him' (his own words). Harris lists that his senses have grown to inhuman ability, as he still smells the blood of his father on the shirt he had washed and later thrown away, which was in the dumpster outside the building. He claims he is a bit sensitive to light now, preferring a shady spot rather than one in the sun. He says his muscles have decreased in size slightly, possibly a subconscious control of his producing of D-717. He states that he doesn't feel that he 'deserves' his abilities, and that he could of stopped his father's death. I assure him that it wasn't his fault, but he resents it as me being sympathetic."
 
Eighteenth Birthday:
"Harris packs his bags, saying he needs to go. When I challenge him about it, he says that Damatri talked to him in his head while he was asleep. He presumes that as meaning Damatri knows his location. He doesn't want me to come to harm because of him. I told him that it must be for the best than and loan him some money. Before leaving, he gives me his last log of his physicality. It states that he had become much less active and that adrenaline seems to not be able to flow as normal. He also states that he had attempted suicide outside the building the night before (using his abilities to keep from getting noticed). He fails when he rips his own throat out, and a large portion of his internal organs. He states that they are replaced too quick for him to cause any real damage to himself. He cleaned up his mess and returned to his room. This is all the log I have now, and I have been told to preserve these logs for as long as possible in the case he becomes a pure demon and that they can be used in sme way to stop him. Recording done."

 
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