Who I am and how I came to be.

• 1996: Age 0: After being formed in the Xsoteric's loin, his first move was to find the strongest and meanest sperm cell and beat the sh*t out of it to state his position as the apex nucleus.
• 1996: Age 0: Three days after he could already speak twenty five different languages fluently and perform sixty six different styles of hand to hand combat proficiently.
• 1996: Age 0: When it was finally time to race towards the eggs, none of the sperm cells left the starting line because they were too afraid of what Mark would do to them if they defied him.
• 1996: Age 0: In his first ultrasound, the doctor was offended because Mark was giving him the bird in one of the pictures.
• 1997: Age 0: Mark was premature because not even his mother could stand his sarcasm for nine months.
• 1997: Age 0: At the hospital, newborn Mark was discovered sneaking into the the girls sleeping area with a suit and tie on. To this day nobody knows where he got the suit or how he managed get out of his incubator.
• 1997: Age 0: Two months later, he was caught sucking on the breasts of other women who were not his mother.
• 1997: Age 0: Five months, not only could he run, but perform a triple back flip while juggling torches. He might have or might have not burned down Cassius's room while practicing.
• 1997: Age 0: Seven months, when people tried to play peek-a-boo with him, they were surprised to find that he had vanished by the time that they uncovered their faces.
• 1998: Age 1: On his very first birthday party they got a clown, the grin terrorized Mark upon sight. Convinced that there was something wrong with the jester, he harassed it endlessly throughout the celebration until he called it quits. Even after the affair Mark chased him everywhere that he went, he just knew that something was going to happen. Eventually the guy had a mental breakdown and went on a killing spree. Though nobody remembers the man's real name, his stage name was Mr. Smiles.

Lives With: Mortimer, his cat butler who might be the reincarnated spirit of the departed butler. (it's complicated)

Likes: Punching stupid people, coffee, weed, cigars, whiskey, beautiful women, wine, beautiful women, exotic babes, blondes, brunettes, redheads, black haired girls, purple haired chicks.

Dislikes: Stupid people, politics, bureaucrats, the whole mutant/human issue, the whole registration issue, swagfags,"tumblr boys", the Jersey Shore, Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Miley Syrus, Nikki Minaj, weaboos, 99% of the animes out there, mushrooms, boiled eggs, people that talk too much, people that talk too little.

Best Friend: Felix Faraday (Magnitude)

Current Crush: Graviteen, though he also likes Honor girl.

Style Inspirations: The Knightfalls.

Favorite Fashion Accessory: His domino mask and cape.

Favorite Places: His bed.

Favorite Music: Arctic Monkeys, Ok GO, Queen, The Wombats, The Beatles, The Fratellis, 30 Seconds to Mars.

Favorite Movies: Kill Bill: The whole bloody affair, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, A Clockwork Orange, The Dark Knight, The Departed, Casino, Inception, the Shining.

Favorite Designers: Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger.

Favorite TV Shows: Breaking Bad, House of Cards, the Inbetweeners, the Walking Dead.

Heroes: Andres Kngihtfall, Not Quintus (f*ck that guy), Hugh Hefner.

Motto: "If you can't say something nice, say something witty and sarcastic".

Current Song Playing on iPod: That song about butts, you know the one.

Ideal Vacation Destination: The Playboy Mansion

Childhood Crush: Kate Upton.

Favorite Afterschool Activity: Crime fighting.

Favorite School Subject: Assassination 101.

Favorite Website: Brazzers Yahoo Answers. (Who does homework anymore?)

Favorite Food: Steak

Favorite Video Game: Assassin's Creed Series

Favorite Magazines: Game Informer, Time.

Favorite Reality Show: The one where the people scream and act selfishly, you know the one.

Phone of Choice: The Blade RR GG 776 crafted by Kamelot.

Dream Job: Billionaire, playboy, philantropist, master crime fighter.