4donkeyjohnson's forum posts

#1 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

bumped

#2 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

@batkevin74: @roninreviews: @ekrolo: @impurestcheese: If I may impart my 2 cents worth; however people write is fine, it is whether or not the READER likes that style. You can't please everybody all the time, that is a fact. Whether it is prose, script, haiku, first person, third person its fine because that is how the WRITER saw it best to convey their idea. Sometimes the two meet and its good, sometimes not.

Personally I am not a script fan, I prefer a story but I'm not totally anti-script.

I think I may have overspent my 2 cents :)

#3 Edited by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

@joshmightbe: Cool. Just curious on why you put your descriptions before the speech?

Occassionally is fine but you seem to do it all the time and I was curious on why is all?

#4 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: ''Over a five hundred dead with all super criminals making a clean exit.'' Victoria answered, ''We have to be careful when taking action or this will blow up in our faces.''

''It will blow up in our faces.'' Abe answered, ''All we can do is limit how much damage is done.''

Ahh pesimism :) Good stuff, onto 5

#5 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

  • Veronica Lodge (Made the list with 100 points!)
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#6 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

@cbishop: First back to back victory! Well done

#7 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

Very nice

#8 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

@impurestcheese: ''It's Atlantean slang for Damsel.'' Orka explained, ''Anyway I was on my way to a job interview when I saw them and decided to lend a hand. Missed my interview mind you but I'm sure the position of bag-boy will come up at Walmart again.''

That doesn't sound right for some reason...damsel. Whole things very good just this tiny bit is ye olde and, well it doesn't really read right to me. Lady, girl, chick maybe but damsel, but then again I don't speak atlantean so :) Good job. I almsot want to see Orka in a What If story where he got the job at WalMart

Here comes 4

#9 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

'We wouldn't be dead.'' Melissa whispered, ''We would have beaten them if...''

''If what?" Victoria coughed, ''If they hadn't ran away? You and Mr. Gill barley had the situation under control.''

Love Victoria's retort...but barley? The grain? I hope you mean barely :)

''Well done Mr Gill you just worked out a problem that most 7th Graders could figure out. The thugs work for the bad guy who in turn work for the big bad guy. Seriously Mr. Jenkins where do you find these idiots?" Ha ha ha!

Onto three!

#10 Posted by 4donkeyjohnson (1540 posts) - - Show Bio

Damn too late