Why You Wouldn't Want to Date Namor (A Parody)

Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio

So you thought Thor was just about the worst candidate for date material? Well, Namor is even worse.

It is true that arrogance can be one of the worst personality traits. It can’t be worse than when it exists in a boyfriend. Namor literally speaks arrogance wherever he goes and he will never let you forget it. He will never listen to you if you have a different opinion of something than him, and think that his own opinion is always right. This sort of treatment can never harbor a truly great relationship. Even if you do something nice for Namor, like make him lunch, he’ll find a way to criticize you. If you try to take him to a picnic or to the movies, he’ll remind you what a waste of time that was even months after the event. Even if you are his girlfriend, he’ll remind you to call him “Prince Namor” and your mother to call him "King of Atlantis."
 Epitome of Arrogance

 

Namor’s intelligence isn’t superb either. He is also a mere two out of seven in the official marvel ratings. What do you expect from a guy who goes around shouting “Imperious Rex” and relies on brawn over his brain?


Namor isn’t a wealthy successful figure either. He’s never bothered to be concerned about anything pertaining to humans (well other than hitting on blondes) and he wouldn’t have any cash. The Atlanteans probably still use an outdated barter system with sea shells and rocks collected from the ocean floor. Something like that wouldn’t have any value in the market, but who knows, maybe you can hit gold with the Native Americans who sold the island of Manhattan for such things. But then again, the Native Americans don’t have an abundant supply of land anymore and they are more intelligent so they might turn aggressive. So make sure you bring that muscular Namor along if things get ugly, but he might get offended that you are selling off his treasure. Talk about catching a break!


#1 Posted by DH69 (4258 posts) - - Show Bio

wtf is going on with namor in that last pic?! he looks like he's transforming into some kind of kevin spacey john cusack hybrid!

#2 Posted by mewmdude77 (993 posts) - - Show Bio

Someone should do another parody with Spider-Man this time though!!!


#3 Posted by GTG12 (1575 posts) - - Show Bio

this is pretty cool.
#4 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio
@DH69: 
Yes I had to find that image because it's such a perfect example of his charisma.
@mewmdude77:
There aren't any female Spidey fans I know of...
@GTG12:
Thanks! ;)
#5 Posted by jloneblackheart (5494 posts) - - Show Bio

Namor totally has loot. He has all the sunken treasure of the sea. He used it once to become a film producer to make a Fabtastic Four movie, although he planned on killing them and banging Sue.

Still a jerk though.

Moderator
#6 Edited by Rheged (620 posts) - - Show Bio
@DH69 said:
"

wtf is going on with namor in that last pic?! he looks like he's transforming into some kind of kevin spacey john cusack hybrid!

"
The last pic is from Secret Invasion Dark Reign #1.  It's clearly a bad joke by Bendis and Maleev, as that's not the way Maleev drew Namor on the cover.  There's even been conjecture that it was Maleev using Bendis as a picture ref.  It's pretty much regarded, even by Namor haterz as an OOC portrayal.

@A_O_N said:

" @DH69: 
Yes I had to find that image because it's such a perfect example of his charisma.


More likely, a perfect example of bad writing on Bendis' part.  But even so, Namor is acting like that, like he doesn't know Emma Frost, to protect her.  So, while not the best example, it is an example of Namor's charisma, i.e. his habit of trying to keep the ladies from harm.
#7 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio

How does pretending to not know her protect her?

#8 Posted by jubilee042 (1353 posts) - - Show Bio

cylocps please i mean he gets all the telepathic chicks and cheats on his WIVES

#9 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio
@jubilee042:  Not coming to his defense but they cheat on him too!
#10 Posted by TypingKira (3509 posts) - - Show Bio
@A_O_N said:
" @DH69: 
Yes I had to find that image because it's such a perfect example of his charisma.
@mewmdude77:
There aren't any female Spidey fans I know of...
@GTG12: Thanks! ;) "
Ouch, dude. That hurts. 

Lol, great post!
#11 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio
@TypingKira:  It didn't know you were one! I'm sorry! :}
#12 Posted by TypingKira (3509 posts) - - Show Bio
@A_O_N said:
" @TypingKira:  It didn't know you were one! I'm sorry! :} "
Lol, it's okay, He's already married and taken, so he's out of reach. 
#13 Posted by A_O_N (352 posts) - - Show Bio
@TypingKira:  He's no longer married which is the sad part ;(
#14 Posted by No_Name_ (17403 posts) - - Show Bio

@DH69 said:

wtf is going on with namor in that last pic?! he looks like he's transforming into some kind of kevin spacey john cusack hybrid!

This.

#15 Posted by SC (12511 posts) - - Show Bio

Namor has the best Celebrity fan as far as I am aware of (Johnny Depp)  
 
Fingers crossed that Christopher Walken is a fan of Magneto or Xavier though... aha... uhm.. nyeh. 

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