In ascending order of hatred (that's a strong emotion btw):
35 (or more) variant covers for one bl**dy issue - okay, I'm exaggerating a bit here
bad delays - eat my shorts Joss Whedon (nice comics though)
Tony Stark acting like a total jerk these days
double-sized/giant-sized comics stuffed with poor quality filler
comic book movies that suck (e.g. Batman and Robin)
Spidey's unspeakably horrible "One More Day" storyline
The confusing multiple timelines of DC and all of the endless crises
Multiple artists with clashing styles in one story arc or even in one issue
Event tie-ins that feel forced and interrupt the smooth flow of books (e.g. Captain America #10 which gave us a "House of M" tie-in right in the middle of the Winter Soldier story arc)
Having to choose a limited number of comics every month when there's just so much good stuff out there. Aaaaaaaaaargh!
Your Superpower Should Be Manipulating Electricity
You're highly reactive, energetic, and super charged. If the occasion calls for it, you can go from 0 to 60 in a split second. But you don't harness your energy unless you truly need to. And because of this, people are often surprised by what you are capable of.
Why you would be a good superhero: You have the stamina to fight enemies for days
Your biggest problem as a superhero: As with your normal life, people would continue to underestimate you
The loud beeping of the Spongebob Squarepants alarm clock cut through my delicate sleep-state like a sledgehammer crashing through a spider's web. The new day was announcing its presence, along with a raging hangover. An empty bottle of wine and an empty box of chocolates sat at the end of my bed. They seemed to stare at me in disapproval, whispering in hushed, conspiratorial tones to each other. So, in petulant fashion, I kicked the miserable little back-stabbers off my bed. (Okay, they're inanimate and they weren't doing anything wrong, but I was hung over.)
One bowl of dry cornflakes and a cup of tea later, I was heading off to the basement. This was it. This was the day. The power of the sun was now within spitting distance. Headache or not, this morning I was going to enter the "Chroma Chamber" - trademark of Sunburst Technologies - pull the switch and take the beautiful plunge: me, the sun, and sweet destiny. What a freakin' glorious combination. My headache was beginning to fade as I made some last-second calculations. Which was just as well, because I had employed a logarithm where I should have employed a square root. Tsk! I think I must have been tanked up with Jack Daniels when I wrote that. But hey ... sorted!
Now as I sat in the "Chroma Chamber," my pulse and breathing began to wildly accelerate. "C'mon, man, don't get cold feet now," I instructed myself. Before I could think of some other inane thing to say out loud to myself, I pulled the big red switch. Suddenly there was a loud, unbearable humming noise. I clasped my ears and tried to block out the noise, but it felt as if it was located in my head and not in my ears. The image of my gadget-cluttered basement swirled violently in front of my eyes, an out-of-control kaleidoscope assaulting my senses. Then came an incredible internal heat, my skin crawling and burning. I could take no more pain. I pressed the emergency stop button - also colored red, which is pretty damn stupid when I come to think of it - and the terrible pain ceased for a brief moment.
Tumbling out of the chamber, I fell to my knees and vomited on the cold hard floor of the basement. I realised that my vision was still distorted and that I was seeing everything in red. (Which, looking back, makes me wonder how I recognised that stop button. Quite strange really.) Then came a second wave of internal heat, worse than before. I shook and screamed at the top of my lungs as my body started vibrating uncontrollably. Fear gripped me like a vice. I stared at my hands which were now glowing intensely and smoking. That was when I burst into flames for the first time and I became a living fireball in my basement. That was the incredible moment when Sunburst was born: the power of the sun in human form.
And did I mention wetting my pants? Not a great start to a meta-human career, I'll admit. But I'm not the big-headed type who erases the embarrassing parts of his history in order to look cool. These things happen. Superheroes have messy body issues like everyone else, which is to say that we are always reminded of our humanity and our frailty. Keeps us humble, I guess. Anyway, it wasn't long before I had my first meta-human clash, but I'm ahead of myself. That's the next crazy chapter.
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on May 14, 2008
I agree with every one of them..nice
on May 24, 2008
So do I. I agree that these orders are correct.